new lay-out and psychedelic rants

Emily the Strange lay-out will be back as soon as the holiday season is over. for now, Have a Betty Merry Christmas! i a have a thing for Christmas and what better way to express it than to create a holiday lay-out! :)

changed the music to Blessed by Christina Aguilera. this could be the perfect song for God as well as my friends & family. :)

today was fun aside from the stupid mistake i made of following the wrong schedule for the day. all my huffing and puffing on the way to school went down the drain because my first class was at 11:30am not 10:00am! i should've checked my class sked last night before bed but i was too lazy. i ended up missing 2 classes unintentionally because i followed my sked for monday instead of tuesday. grawr.

during lunch while hanging out at the cafeteria, apple saw her school girl crush. actually, we saw him a couple of times while walking along Faura. first, on the way to Rob. second, on the way to Taft from Rob. wasn't that cool? but apple was too chicken she was red all over and she'd bow down her head really low so that [insert his name here] wouldn't see her blushing face. hello? obvious ka pa rin. :P

of course, i saw crush #1 too. i don't know his surname, just the first name. if i'd only choose to, i could ask around since i know people from his group of friends but i'm too chicken myself. for now i'll be thankful that i get to bump into him ALL THE TIME since second semester started. as for crush #2, i only saw him once. maybe his class hours don't match mine. i always see his blockmates, though. the ones that i don't really like that much because everytime i smile at them, they don't smile back. i hate it when that happens. my cheeks start to feel really hot of embarassment.

we got to see National Treasure today. i liked it. it's Dan Brownish only with a lighter story. since i liked The Da Vinci Code, i liked this movie too. i loved Riley. he was so hilarious! i noticed that Nicholas Cage has a beer belly and the actress from Wicker Park/Troy is so purrrty! i love her smokey eyes and cheek bones.

traffic was horrible today because of the flooding the typhoon brought. it rained yesterday and good ol' manila flooded instantly. i didn't expect the day to be sunny but the sun did show up and i didn't have to battle the rain with my trusty umbrella. it's a bright red, by the way.

now i'm tired. came home from grocery shopping with my sister. there's Ice Monster at Congressional na pala :) yeyness.

answer a survey if you're bored

regine velasquez's "Shine" song is stuck somewhere inside my head. it keeps playing there on and on. it's going to drive me crazy, i can tell.

woke up today to a cozy morning or should i say noon? it was 12pm when i checked the clock. i love rainy days and staying home when it's cloudy and cool. i wanted to sleep a little more but my mind told me to be ashamed of myself for sleeping until that late. i was in pajamas the whole day and a flannel robe with baby blue flower prints all over. i love that robe. my distant aunt gave it to me two New Years ago. spent the entire afternoon reading Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire (i'm almost done), surfing the internet, watching tv, and at 5ish i took a nap. Globe lines were also down and i felt like i was cut off from civilization. i'm thinking of joining the Sun Celluar 24/7 bandwagon. i'm just hesitant about it because it will be another reason for people to call and text 24/7. i confuse myself. when no one texts or calls me, i complain thinking that no one cares about me anymore. then when i think of getting a SunCell sim, i hesitate because i don't want to be that available all the time. besides, i don't have an extra phone to use since i still want to keep my Globe sim. that electrician who came to the house stole my old phone. how dare he.

i think my entries are rather too long, don't you think? they get boring when they're really long. so maybe i should restrict myself to a few paragraphs. ah well.

i'm going to go downstairs and get myself a bowl of soup. then maybe lateron snuggle on the sofa with a blanket, watch tv, and sip on hot chocolate.

borrowed from ate Bhibe's post at Friendster:

1.)Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:
a hair tie, cheeseburger and potato wedges at Hot Shots, pistacchio ice cream, and yellow gift wrappers.

2)Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink :
iced tea, fresh milk, Coke, water

3)Last Time You Cried ? :
Friday when i laughed too much. pathetic, eh?

4)What's In Your CD Player ?
Kitchie Nadal and Rivermaya's Between the Stars and Waves.

5)What's Under Your Bed ?
nothing.

6)What Time Did You Wake Up Today ?
12pm because i slept at 2am last night, er morning.

7)Current Hair?
very long.

8)Current Clothes ?
pajamas, satin sleevless top.

9)Current Desktop Picture ?
Emily the Strange.

10)Current Worry ?
school. i don't want to go back yet.

11)Current Hate ?
the feeling of being a loser each time i think of my failure in the love department. may i wasn't born for love. as ally mcbeal said, "why do people like me? i'm not even nice."

12)Favorite Places To Be?
my house, Tagaytay, Baguio, the beach, the mall

13)Least Favorite Place ?
ironically school too.

14) If You Could Play An Instrument?
i'd play the guitar. i already know how to play the piano.

15)Favorite Color(s)?
red, black, yellow, blue, purple

16)How Tall Are You?
5 flat.

17): Favorite expression?
di nga?

18)One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To:
Jason. i want to tell him i'm happy for him & i'm already letting go. :)

19)Favorite Day?
Christmas and my birthday

20)Where Would You Like To Go?
Europe or sunny side Cali to visit Dei.

21)Where Do you want to live when you get
married?
in a yellow house with white shutters and a sun room.

22)Favorite food?
pizza, cheeseburger from Hot Shots, Italian and Japanese. my mom's cooking too!

23)Color of most clothes you own:
pastel colors and white.

24)Number of pillows you sleep w/?
three because i can't stand having pillows below that number. the more the merrier!

25)What do you wear when you go to sleep:
pajamas and a baggy shirt. always.

26)What were you doing 12AM last night:
downloading mp3s and watching tv.

SAN 27?

28)What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years:
i'd be married by this time with 2 or 3 children. my husband and i would be so in-love :)

29)Do you have braces?
sadly, i do.

30)Are you paranoid?!
very.

31)Do you burn or tan?
both, actually. last summer i got burnt to a crisp. it hurt so much at the back of my shoulders. but i did get a tan too.

32)what is the brand of your wallet?
United Colors of Benetton.

33)Your alarm clock?
my cellphone.

34)Your hair?
it's long. too long that i have to tie it into a ponytail all the time.

35)Computer?
a 3 year old PC.

36)Notebook?
i don't have a laptop. i want one!

37)First real memory of something?
my first Valentine's card in 3rd grade. i cried! mwahahaha!

38)First screen name?
i don't remember.

39)First piercing/tattoo?
when i was a baby... one on each ear.

40)First enemy?
my sister, i guess hehe.

41)good cry?
long long time ago.

42)Last library book checked out?
something for homework last month.

43)Last person you yelled at?
haven't yelled lately.

44)Last beverage drank?
a tall glass of Coke.

45)Last crush?
2 guys from school and 2 other non-UPM crushes. shsssh!

46)Last CD/song played?
I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden

47)Last thing you ate?
buttered toast.

48)Last annoyance?
Last Song Syndrome of Regine Velasquez's "Shine" song. arrgh!

49)Last disappointment?
i'm broke until tomorrow when allowance arrives.
haven't watched a movie at the cinema lately.

50)Last thing you wrote?
a blog entry.

51)Last words spoken?
mamaya na ko kakain ng dinner

masarap na kwentuhan

i had such a sweet slumber last night. i've been an owl these past few days sleeping at past 1AM. it's weird how i get really drowsy at around 10 but no matter how half-closed my eyes already are, i'd struggle to be awake to watch the nightly news or blog hop. the other night i was already in bed all comfy under my blankets, my head propped on fluffy pillows when i decided to watch a documentary on tv. the next thing i knew it was already morning when i woke up and the tv was still on.

i spent the entire afternoon chatting with Avi. i was downloading mp3s when i decided to log on just to see if anyone was online. on my MSN IM, only people from Abu Dhabi are there since i only use MSN IM when i used to live there. so practically everyone i know is on my list (and it's already full). i saw Avi online. we weren't friends in Abu Dhabi but we knew each other. i met her when i used to be a member of The Legion of Mary at the local church. we went to different schools in Abu Dhabi so we never got around to get to know each other. but we have a lot of mutual friends so i said hi. that was when everything started. we started chatting as if we knew each other for a long time already. our topics were: love life, boys (of course! haha!), life, GOD, our goals, and death. we're so much alike, i noticed. we're looking for the same things in a guy (nerd daw? haha!), we have same ideals (we want to seize the day) and whole lot more.

the conversation went on for hours and it was freaky. i told her, "man! we're so much a like! it's scary!". no, but actually it is cool. it's a good feeling to meet a friend who thinks so much like you. that's the time when you'd hear yourself say, "hey! i'm not weird and complicated afterall!".

from the outside i may be an ordinary 19 year old. but i'm way more than that. i have goals that may seem unreal for other people. i may sound like a hypocrite when i say that i want to live for others and for GOD, just around 25% for me. i want a lot of things to be realised like after i graduate i want to work for the U.N. or whatever group there is that works for a cause. i want to live my life doing what i love and God knows how much i want him to remind me not to be blinded by salary figures. i told myself that as long as i'd be happy, i'm going to be okay no matter what people would think.

i wonder if people see the real me when they look into my eyes or read what i write. if not, i want them to know that i value life so much that i want to seize every freaking day and live a day without regrets. i talked to Avi about my non-existent love life. she said it's funny how we think about our problems as "the big ones" when in reality, they're not even worthy of being classified as a "problem". i agree. we worry too much about the little things: grades, love life, and other things that we teenagers worry about. when you compare it to the bigger picture like people who worry about how to get through a day with just one meal, how to find a job, or how to feed a large family... you'd realize that you were silly all along.

my ideals, my beliefs, my goals and dreams may clash with other people's perception on life. but this is just me. i get tempted to give so much attention to worldly things too but at the end of the day before i go to bed, i realize my mistake and give myself an imaginary kick on the butt for being shallow.

i can't change the world nor can i change how people think. but it my own little way i can make myself happy, live a meaningful life, at the same time share my happiness and my life with others.

GOD, i do hope i survive this life.

i remember a card a friend gave me in high school. it said:

"With you by my side, I can do anything!"

that goes to God, my family, and friends.

borderline between good and bad day

whoops. look who's home? i chose not to go to the youth camp (this time) because i realized that i've had 3 absences in my spanish class. changed my mind this morning because just one more absence in spanish class and i'm dead meat. plus, i badly wanted to go to the concert. there will be more youth camps so i passed on this one. my 2 bags were packed last night and now they lay untouched on the sofa in the room. ah well. i'll unpack them tomorrow. too tired to do that now.

i just came home from UST. i went to the concert afterall. man, was today such a long day. classes ended at 1pm but apple, van, mitchie, and i killed time at Rob until 5pm. Van's dormates from DLSU came, plus Ais. we were like an inter-scholastic meet! there were representatives from UPM, UST, and DLSU. it was a joke for all of us but it was fun.

all of us, except mitchie, went to the concert at UST. when we got there i had to remind the girls, "hey! blend in!" because we hated it when people stared. for a time we got lost but we tried to make our way around the campus. the College of Fine Arts and Architecture building was beautiful especially at night when the rooms are lit up. of course i saw this from the outside. the whole of UST campus was beautiful too. according to apple and van, "ano? transfer na?". the whole campus had this genuine college feeling to it. i don't know if you get me. the trees, the benches, the wide space with green grass... it was prettyful. add the fountains near the miniature park and you have one homey campus. when you're studying at UPM, you can't help but admire the vast space because at Faura we have such a tiny Oblation Garden. anyway, we hung out by the fountain for a while until we figured out where to go next.

during the concert we got squished, sweated like pigs, and had our energy and hyperness sucked out of our bodies. we were drained after people started being rowdy in the crowd. they were boys who were such rockers that they got so carried away. they pushed the crowd and at one point i got so scared of being squished to death in the dark. i literally couldn't breathe. it was so crowded. how horrible was that? to die such a death is so sad. over-reacting, yes? but if you were there you'd understand why parents get the jitters whenever their kids go to rock concerts. the bands that played were Bamboo, Chicosci, Sponge Cola, Kambyo, and Moonstar 88. i was expecting Southborder in the end but the campus has a curfew, 11pm. so Southborder wasn't there. at some point when we got fed up, my friends and i hung out at the back of the whole lawn. we sat on the cool dew dropped grass just appreciating the crowd along with the sky, which finally cleared and revealed lots of stars at the end of the night.

the whole thing was supposed to be fun but because i got so tired of standing up for hours walking here and there and for the long day... i feel like i can go to sleep and not wake up until nightime tomorrow.

apple's text just a while ago:

haloo...Ü im home na.
salamat 4 d wondrfl/tiring/bitin/bad3p s uste
night wid me.. worth it naman cos
i got to spend it wd all of u guys.. no stir. Ü
gud nyt, mwah!

as Vanessa always puts it, "ganyan talaga magaganda maraming pagsubok." take that from Van! her one-liner always cracks us up!

i agree with apple. it was worth going through all the exhaustion, the feet and leg pains, the profuse sweating, being pushed around, walking around UST trying not to look lost, and all other troubles because i got to hang out with my friends. the friends that i really love being with because they're as crazy, laugh-trip thirsty, fun-loving, spontaneous, and quirky as i am! i love my friends. i wouldn't want them to get hurt in any way and i'd do anything for them as long as i could do something. college life wouldn't be as fun without them around! now i can grow old, look back on my college years, and smile because i know i had a blast and not a day was wasted. i grew, i partied, i had fun, i studied, i learned my lessons well (both in academics and in life), and grew up. no regrets, i'd always tell myself. right now? so far so good! :)

ah... the long weekend. finally.

bad news

not going to the concert afterall. why do i keep missing Bamboo concerts? *whacks herself on the head*. i'm not going not because i don't want to but because i can't. the youth camp is tomorrow not saturday. so i packed really quickly hours ago because tomorrow i won't have that much time after school. i hate last minute packing because i end up forgetting a lot of things. i'll be gone for 3 days. sunday noon is when the camp ends. 3 days out of my nutshell called home without internet and tv. i can do without these things. mental note to self: bring a notebook just in case i find something interesting to write about. still debating on whether to bring the camera or not.

it's almost 11pm and i'm already sleepy. not quite confident to take a quiz tomorrow but i've studied already. 7AM class tomorrow. that just sucks but i have no choice but to drag my lazy self to school in the wee hours of the morning.

i'm recycling my Emily the Strange layout because i like her and i want something dark for this blog. :)

my back hurts. my eyes too. good night, world.

"clean fun"

i'm chatting with Apple at YM. funny girl! we might be going to UST tomorrow. our friend Ais is a math major there (yes! math major! sheesh!) and she invited us to a concert. Bamboo, Southborder, and Sugarfree are going to be there among others. we'd be dismissed at 1pm tomorrow since our last prof for the day wouldn't be meeting us. i told Apple we could go home first then back to UST in the evening for the concert. man, i so want to go!

i've always been the person who you could drag along anywhere as long as i'm into whatever gimmick there is. i'm always game. my parents let me go because they trust me. i haven't done anything stupid and out of their rule book so far and i'm so thankful for that because i get to enjoy my life being young. i know my limits and i know how to distinguish what's wrong from right. so to my folks, thanks for trusting me! i won't let you down (like Rexona hahaha!). i see myself as a cross breed between being a goody-two-shoes and an extrovert nineteen year old. so it's basically 50-50 of both. works for me and it obviously works for my parents too! no matter how i rack my memory for an instance when i got my parents angry/disappointed... i can't come up wtih anything (except for petty disappointments like not cleaning my closet & arguing with my sister hehe) :D hurray for me! i wouldn't have the heart to break their hearts anyhow. i love them too much. word of advice from my father every time i tell him i'm going out? "have clean fun!", he'd always say ;) but when i parents say NO, they really mean it so i just take it in no matter how disappointing. like last New Year's day when apple and the rest of the cavite people asked me to go to Enchanted Kingdom with them. my mother didn't want me to go no matter how i pleaded.

the YFC 3-day camp will be at Antipolo. i won't know anyone there, just Den Den, my former blockmate. it's a great chance to meet new friends and grow spiritually so i'm really looking forward to that. people from other schools will be there so if you're YFC too, i'll see you there! haha, whoever you are. man, i so wanted to do this in freshman year but i never got the chance to go for it. i always pull out. so i'm doing this because after i graduate i might have regrets and when i'm already working i won't have any chance to do these things. college only happens once! i'm beginning to like junior year a lot.

school got suspended today because of the strike of transportation groups. imagine me waking up groggily to "hey! walang pasok!" (no classes!) so i'm one lucky duck. but tonight i have to study for a quiz tomorrow.

again, i so want to go to the UST concert.

my cellphone is lonely

isn't it sad? no one texted the whole day. not even a "hey! deadline this week!" or "hey, what's up?". sometimes i feel like people think i'm dead already. it feels good to be remembered once in a while, you know. haha. drama.

ordinary school day...

yesterday was much fun. spent the entire day with the usual people i hang out with: van, pie, apple, and mitchie. plus paolo, our unico hijo (only guy). i also brought my camera along and we went click happy while hanging out at the cafeteria. since last semester, we've been regulars there hanging out under the bright nescafe umbrellas. now with vacancy in our scehdules, we have more time to just sit there and watch people go about their businesses. there was a rally yesterday. some people excused us from history class but since sir atoy wasn't around and we weren't sure if we were going to be excused, we decided to attend class anyway. good news was that the quiz was postponed to friday. that'll buy me more time to study.

after school my sister texted me. she asked if i wanted to go to Taco Bell at Gateway. i said yes right away. who could say no to burritos for dinner? Gateway mall looks pretty good although it's still in the works. i hope Taco Bell opens elsewhere too and put out more branches. loved the burritos and nachos. i love the cheese dip :9 in the afternoon did org work with apple and the rest. we talked to the managers of McDonald's and Popeye's at Rob. the two managers from Popeye's asked if they could be toured at the campus grounds. so i was pseudo tour guide from an hour until i saw raymond and introduced him to the two managers. i like doing P.R. work, i swear :)

wednesday. no classes. it's sad, didn't get anything done. i can sometimes be hit by a pang of laziness and i loathe that about me. i'm going to get a little work done before i go to bed (and after C.S.I. which i'm watching right now...).

too lazy to study

man! a history quiz tomorrow and i feel like i'm studying for a long exam because of the thick readings! i'm so lazy. i procrastinated over the weekend and look at me now, trying to cram as much bits and pieces of information that i pick up from the lessons.

i just want to share: i have a strange way of getting teary-eyed whenever i laugh too much. my eyes water that easily that it also makes me very prone to crying over little things like the Olympic documentary a few months ago, a commercial, or watching little kids play without a care in the world. i cry over the pain of others (yes, i do have a heart) and i cry when i'm overjoyed. i cry while telling childhood stories to friends (not really the sobbing type of crying...) and i cry when i tell corny jokes.

anyway, org picture taking earlier this afternoon. before the picture taking, my blockmates and i hung out at the RH lobby and sat along the stairs. we cam-whored with my blockmate's phone. i didn't bring the digicam because i had no batteries. i'll bring it tomorrow so we could cam-whore some more. after the picture taking the debate on how much to pay for the org club party on dec. 03 seemed endless so i left for home in the middle of the meeting. i'm fine with whatever they come up with anyway.

we have a new dog at home, by the way. i'll take a picture of her. she's so cute and she likes amidala too! amidala loves her just the same. now she has a playmate. how cool is that?

i might be going to the YFC camp this long weekend, something that i've been meaning to do since freshman year. laziness always crept into me whenever i tried to join (or is it the demon driving me away from growing spiritually?). i'm going. i'm going. i'm going. this will help me. :) i'm pretty excited. YFC from other schools will be there and there will be lots of talks. something to look forward to. the only downside is that i also have org work. hrmm...

i'm going to go study now. i hate long quizzes.

when i don't feel like writing

saturday in fragments. it's up to you to piece them all together. it pretty much sums up to one one word: FUN. gail loves her social life.

saturday. spanish class. House Blend with Ina. conversation over iced mochaccino and sloppy fries. sour cream and onion. talking about my friend's now existent "like" life as it rained. meeting up with van and paolo at rob. a movie. Mini Stop hot chocolate. splashing tiny dots of hot choco on my pale blue shirt. van saving the day by lending me her jacket. dance concert at PhilAm auditorium. great music, great dance numbers. MedRythmics, Orange Dance Core and Indayog rocked. wanted to dance like crazy along the aisle myself. regained composure. refrained from being crazy. saw my two non-UPM crushes. kilig moment. sir joey (my former lit prof) and his uber cool dance number. astig. dinner at a chinese place. the walk to malate. checking out Indos and Arkdia for the org party. hanging out at Arkdia after finding out that richard's band was performing. cocktails. good music. dancing with paolo at the dance floor while the band played. hanging out with richard and his bandmates after the other three went home. i was "hot seated" by his bandmates. i lost my voice at the end of the night from screaming during the dance concert along with the smoke inside Arkdia. richard drove me home. otherwise i'd have no one to go home with. a few hours sleep. woke up this morning disoriented. must face responsibilities now. school work. pfft.

sorry for such short sentences. they pretty much summed up yesterday. i had FUN with paolo, van, and apple. thank you guys! :) sarap niyo kasama! last night paolo said we should go out again next week. cool! :P

ate bhibe: if you're reading this, this is the concept for the poster. putol yan di yata na-upload ng maayos. the original size is really huge for better resolution when blown-up. akala ko pinakita na ni kuya mervyn sa inyo. :) tell me the changes so i can edit the text.

kayo na din mga orgmates (if anyone reads this blog. i highly doubt it but anyway...)! tell me what you guys think.

aromatherapy

lights are off, i'm alone in the room, soft music in the background, and it's cold. mental note to self: buy Spirit of Moonflower oil from The Body Shop for the incense burner tomorrow at the mall. candles too. i remember i used to love burning Spirit of Moonflower every night after a cold shower last Christmas. it relaxed me. then i'd stay up all night with only the sounds in the background letting my mind drift where it wanted to go. other times i'd sit up on the bed leaning on the wall sipping hot chocolate and reading. these are the times when i feel like posting a "don't disturb me! off bonding with self!" sign on the door.

i feel like i could use the wonder of an incense burner right now. i haven't touched the pretty yellow ceramic burner for a long time. maybe i could throw in facial masks (the ones that supposedly makes you feel better) and slices of cucumber for my eyes. that would be so relaxing. i always plan to do these things but end up not doing it.

speaking of feeling good, good is far from what i'm feeling right now. my throat is really itchy and i feel like i'm going to come down with a cold. a few girls in class have colds and i think i might have caught it. i can't afford to feel sick because i already have a quiz lined up for next week. oh yes, class for that subject officially started today and we already have a quiz for the second meeting. oh yeah, i'm currently addicted to artificial crab sticks. i pick on artificial crab sticks in sushis but now i like eating it fresh from the bag. :9

i could use a cold shower right now but i'll save that for later because at the moment my calves are killing me. no wait. my whole body is killing me. i was walking around here and there with mervyn to post the fliers for the org week. had to walk all the way to national bookstore at rob place just to buy neon yellow construction paper. mitchie and i designed the fliers and i must say, we did a pretty good job :) haha proud!

tonight i must conceptualize on what to print on large streamers and the posters that we're going to post around campus. i love working for Publicity and Documentation. it's so me! this is the reason why i didn't mind staying extra hours after all my classes. i had to be at the library after my last class to meet up with the rest of the Pub and Doc people. man oh man, i wish the org week won't be a huge flop! i care too much for all the hardwork to go down the drain. kudos for the freshies who are working as equally hard as the upper classmen!

dr. boncan looked lovely today during Hist116 (Philippine Nationalism). she reminds me so much of my mother back when she used to have her hair permed. she already handed out the articles that we're going to summarize and write a written review at the end of the semester. i got two articles on the Muslim of the South. this shall be really interesting although i fervently hope that i won't cram as much this semester as i've done during the past. i must take everything seriously now because i really want to graduate on time.

professor for Anthro123 showed up for the first time since classes started. he's around his late 50s and he has long frosted hair tied up in a ponytail. he has dark skin and a very Filipino-like facial feature. he wore a loose batik shirt which looked very ethnic. at first glance you might think he's weird but if you're from UP and you're used to seeing professors being different from the rest of the conventional professors, you'd appreciate his uniqueness. we're going to study about the indigenuous people in the Philippines. interesting? very! the prof seems to be nice too and i hope he won't be that much of a cheapskate when it comes to giving grades. we had an introduce-your-blockmate kind of thing. it was fun.

i'm going to play with Photoshop now for the poster. good luck to me! ta-ta!

my eyes are puffy and the undereye circles around it furthermore emphasize the puffiness. i've been reading the lovely bones the whole day since this morning when i woke up. at 11am i found myself still tucked under my favorite white comforter which i've had since i was a child. even when i haven't washed the sleep off my eyes yet, i struggled to keep my eyes open.

my reading went on until 10 this evening. the book was that good. it was moving... infectuous, even. after putting it down i'm still thinking about it.

the book made me think of my own concept of heaven. some time ago i stopped thinking about heaven the way i used to as a child: clouds everywhere, people wearing all white, winged angels playing harps, and the way people went straight to only one heaven.

i'd like to think that people have their own versions of heaven. when we leave this life, i'd like to think that our heaven would be based on who we are and what we really love. for instance for me, it would be a big garden with fountains and gazebos where i could read all day under a shady tree or bathe under the afternoon sun while napping on the fresh grass. it would be my little piece of Earth on Heaven. the only difference is that physical pain would no longer harm me nor other forms of pain. i would be free from the ropes that tied me while i was living like what time does to a person. i would no longer care if i slept through an entire morning because time does not exist. it won't at all. i would be free as a bird.

my conquest now is to make sure i get to Heaven not to the opposite side of the afterlife.

sometimes i sit here in front of the computer for minutes pondering on what to write about. i get that itch to write all the time. sometimes i have several ideas inside my head and i get confused which to write about first. other times i completely don't know what to write about but i know i want to write.

org week coming up in 2 weeks (or is it less?). i'm a part of the Publicity and Documentation committee and in charge (along with mitchie and von) to design banners, flyers, and teasers for the big event. this shall be really fun although it will be tiring preparing for the OrgASM (Organization of Area Studies Major) Week. the club party might be at Arcadia at Malate. anyone want tickets? help me sell tickets! buy tickets from me! it's going to be fun! just tag the tagboard, email me, leave me a note, or whatever. i would leave my number here but this is the internet and it's a scary place so just tag the tagboard instead and we'll see what we can do. support our org!

on friday it's the Kitchie Nadal's album launching at Eastwood. still haven't found anyone to go with me yet. apple has dance practice on friday for the Sayaw Manila dance concert at the Philam Auditorium.

i'm going to watch it with Van and Paulo. we're going to support Apple and Krizia (woohoo!). if you want to watch the dance orgs of UP Manila, watch Sayaw Manila! dance orgs from different colleges will perform and of course, Indayog too! it's the official dance troupe of UP Manila and man, can they really dance! apple has bruises all over. anyway, i could sure use a night out after the event because school isn't hectic yet. after the Christmas vacation, that's when everything will start to become crazy. so for now i'm going to have myself a little fun before working again. Van and Apple agreed to sleep over my place after the dance concert so we could go on an asian scary movie marathon. this will be fun. a lot of squealing and paranoia after the movie. i wonder if mitchie's interested. i love that girl when she watched scary movies. she actually screams her lungs out!

came home at 7pm all groggy and tired. dinner and a few pages of The Lovely Bones later, i fell asleep on the bed still in my jeans and shirt which i wore to school today.

it's almost Christmas. the best part of Christmas are the weeks before Christmas when Christmas is in the air. bright-lit lanterns on sale along the streets, the chilly air at night and the comfy breeze in the afternoon, the light-decorated neightbor's houses, the Christmas trees, the carols playing in the air in restaurants and malls, the Christmas decorations... the Christmas spirit in general!

i may no longer believe in Father Christmas but i still believe in the unexplainable joy the Christmas season brings. when it's Christmas i feel like floating on air and i'm always happy for no apparent reason.

joy!

Today before meeting up with A.J. to watch The Incredibles, I dropped by the bookstore to buy yet another Pilot sign pen because I lost the previous one that I bought which I haven't even used yet for school. I'm like that with pens. I always misplace them then they'd pop out of nowhere after a few weeks when I've just bought a new one.

Anyway, I browsed through the shelves not intending to purchase a book. I did it just to kill time. I saw the many books that I wanted including a tattered copy of The Lovely Bones. People at the bookstore should learn how to take care of the things they sell because this copy had its cover worn out. Better yet, they should cover the whole book with plastic just like other bookstores do. So I flipped over the first page and started to read just to see if it was as good as Oprah's Book Club said it was. I've been dying to get the book for two summers already but I kept getting other books rather than The Lovely Bones. Then I got hooked reading it. after the first few pages I made a mental note to myself to go back after the movie so I could buy it. I walked around the bookstore some more flipping over Sex and the City's Kiss and Tell hardbound humongous book (a whopping 999 bucks!). a few minutes later I went back to The Lovely Bones and it stuck to my hand. As if on a trance, I went straight to the counter and paid for it.

I'm loving the book because it has a different style of storytelling (Suzie speaks from heaven as she watches people close to her go over her death). While reading, I felt extremely drowsy so I cuddled between the fluffy pillows beside me and drifted off to sleep. I like the book so much that I even started to drift off dreaming about Suzie and her miseries while watching her family suffer the aftermath of her murder from heaven.

I was awaken to reality by the ringing of my cellphone. It was a friend. I absent-mindedly said, "Huh? Wha?" and the person on the other line asked why I was disoriented. I had to explain myself that I was taking nap.

So I have two good books that I'm hooked on at the moment: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (which I couldn't put down because it gets interesting every time I turn the page) and The Lovely Bones (which is equally as interesting and good as Harry Potter).

So now after I put down a book after reading it, I get confused whether to daydream about Harry Potter and what happens next during the Tri-Wizard Cup or about Suzie Salmon and her accepting her tragic death.

Dork, yes?

what a day!

it's my sister's 21st birthday. i love her to pieces! i don't know what i'd do without her! spent the entire day with her and kuya john and we did so many things in one day!

first my sister and i woke up early. i wanted to go to the mall and shop a little (which i haven't done for ages). it was lunch first at a japanese place which was really GOOD and the price was also practical. of course, my sister treated me to the whole lunch and she kept asking what else i wanted. hello? diet man! hehe! i got pairs of jeans, a blouse, and shoes. FINALLY. it was fun looking around stores and fitting shoes. i was frustrated at first because they didn't have the ones that i like in my size! my feet is just a measely size 6 and it pretty much sucked today when size 7 was the smallest that they had. then kuya john came and we got food from Wendy's (frosty!) and cream puffs from Beard Papa (they're really good!).

we went to Greenhills shopping center after that to look around some more. my sister and kuya john bought stuff. i just looked around. then we went to this foot spa place at Greenhills too. i didn't want to at first then kuya john forced me! haha! i said "what the hell! okay!". i didn't regret it. who would? it was so relaxing! the room was dark and i got a massage! my feet felt really good after the 1-hour treatment. then off to Marina to kuya john's house. picked up a bottle of Cuervo, grocery shopping at Pricemart then back to QC.

dropped by places to buy food and stuff for my sister's birthday inuman slash dinner then picked up Egy from his apartment. we dropped by the church before heading home.

grabe! 12pm-9pm i was with the two guys and it was so much fun hanging out with them! we did a lot in between those hours! no time was wasted we were always running around here and there. most of all i got to go shopping after a long while. i deserve it. i swear, i do. so now we're waiting for my sister's friends to come. i asked ina to come but she said she couldn't make it. apple and raul too because apple's mom didn't let her. wahhh! it's okay :) i'll hanging out with kuya john's barkada: egy, jinx and kuya ryan. plus there's marae pa!

i probably will just watch and take pictures of the people here at home because i'm too tired. might doze off a little after midnight because i'm really tired.

nevertheless... i'm happy :) it was such a fun Sunday. i always have fun hanging out with my sister!

Happy Birthday, ate! to the person who has always been there for me and forever will because we're sisters! to my one and only sibling whom i love so much! to the person who asks "is something wrong?" even if i try my best to not show my downside. to the person who brings me "pasalubong" almost everyday when she comes home from school. to the person who texts me all the time, "are you okay there?" or "anong gawa mo?" during her boring classes. to the person who never fails to make guys heads turn whenever she passes by. to the headturner who never fails to look beautiful inside and out every single day. to the person who will forever be my best friend. to the my favorite person in the world. to the laugh trips, the food trips, the crying fests, and senti fests. to our quarelling and petty fights. to making up after not talking to each other after a few minutes. to the childhood memories. to the high school memories. to the gossips, the sharing of the knowledge of learning how to speak Burmese and using it as our secret weapon to gossip even more. to someone whom i could share anything i want. to my confidante.

to the best sister in the world.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATE!!! :) MWAHH!

okay bye! sorry if this entry is sabog. i gotta rush. guests are here. :)

i learned that the hardest thing in life is to miss someone so much.

i miss Daivy more than ever now. i want her to be a text message away or a phone call away like it was in high school. she lived a few blocks away from our flat and one summer we spent it together every single day. we had so much fun calling radio stations requesting songs, flipping over magazines, or just listening to music. my mom would supply her daily goodies (cookies, brownies, and cakes) into the room and we'd have a great time hanging out.

when we were bored during weekends, i'd walk over to her building and we'd go around Hamdan center or straight to the beach to hang out some more. it was so much fun living like that. whenever i needed someone to talk to, i could talk to daivy because she was always within reach. i could spill my heart out to her and she'd listen and at the same time i could be my goofiest, shallowest around her without being judged. we'd also go around department stores and window shop. our families became close too because we were always together after that summer.

with dei, i could be myself and be comfortable while i'm at it. i miss you dei!

man, i miss dei! i want to talk to her and hang out with her again especially now that i have so many things to say to her. i miss our bonding moments and our silly laugh trips. good memories. daivy was one of the best things that happened to me while i lived in the sunny side Emirates.

now she's in California and she's so far away. when she goes through tough times, i want to hug her and tell her that she's not alone. that she's really special. but i can't. email is all i have but words aren't enough to comfort a friend. dei is wise beyond her years, i tell you. she's the most responsible daughter i've ever met! she takes care of her siblings and juggle a whole lot more! that's why i think she should be called Super Daivy! hehe!

i'll see her soon. i hope so because i really miss Daivy. i just emailed her a long email which i haven't done for a long time.

hay. i hate missing people. it hurts too much.

i want to share my theme song with you I Believe by Yolanda Adams. it's the theme song from the movie Honey, one of my favorites because it's about dance, following your dreams, doing what you love, and having fun while you're at it! i love this song. it makes me feel really good and when i'm alone in the room i dance like crazy with this song playing on full blast. so here. i'm sharing it with you. please turn on your speakers to hear the music, though. :) one of the reasons why i wanted to share the song with you is that i also want YOU to feel good while you're here :) believe, dude! you'll make it if you try hard.

so i spent most of my morning surfing the internet trying to find out how to play music in a website. i finally got it! i don't know where i get the patience to search for instructions. i've always been the patient-to-read-instructions kind of person. when there's something new here in the house (a digicam, a digital voice recorder, even appliances...) i'm the one who reads the manuals and follows the instructions step by step. none of my family members are patient enough to read the manual so they ask me to read it then figure out how things work. unfair, eh? but i don't mind. i have patience for that and i actually enjoy it (hah! dork). but with Adobe Photoshop... i just tinkered around with the program until i finally got the hang of it.

saturday. i will be spending the rest of the day reading Harry Potter Book 4: Goblet of Fire. i've had the book since November 19, 2001 and i still haven't read it. but now i can't put it down! i got the enthusiasm to pick it up again because i finally got to watch Harry Potter Book 3: The Prisoner of Azkaban. i remember being madly frustrated when no one wanted to watch the movie with me. i'm a big Harry Potter fan, you know. i'm like a little kid in a candy store whenever i watch the movies. for Prisoner of Azkaban, i still like the book better (always naman eh!) but the movie was good too! :) i can't wait for Goblet of Fire to come out.

so yeah. maybe if i'm not too lazy i'll go to the mall because i'm dying to buy shirts and pairs of jeans. i have this undying want to throw everything in my closet away because i'm getting bored with them but i'm no princess or Paris Hilton to do that. might as well take the step one by one.

toodles!

yesterday i decided not to go to school because i assumed that the professors wouldn't attend the classes anyway. but Dr. Boncan did and she checked attendance. there went my perfect attendance goal. well, at least that was just one absence. i'm not going to use my free cuts from no on.

today i was almost late for school. i twisted my ankle from my running to class. when i got to the hallway, i saw Dr. Boncan walking towards the classroom door. i thought to myself, "way to go Gail! right on time!" so i tried to run across the hallway and into the classroom. when i got inside, the professor smiled at me. right. on. time. i forgot that it's friday and usually during fridays the traffic jam is horrendous. sir atoy was also present today. both my classes seem to be really interesting. for Area Studies 121 we're going to study more about the history, culture, politics, and society of Southeast Asian nations. i saw at the syllabus that we'll be studying about Burma's history too. cool! i lived there for 8 years (when i was a kid i thought i was Burmese rather than Filipino... hehe joke!) but we never studied about the country's history because i went to a diplomatic school. we studied the history of England! crazy, yeah? but studying about their kings and queens was no joke. too bad i forgot everything i learned. so yes, Area Studies 121 is an interesting class. the only downside is that we have a graded recitation every single day. that's every single meeting. so i will be forced to study the lessons in advance and finally read the assigned readers (unlike last sem when i only study for quizzes and exams). this is cool, though. my professor said she wants more discussions by us because we will be trained to be more articulate which would really help us once we're released from our nutshell (the university).

for Social Science 120... it's basically about assigned readings for the Social Sciences. we'll be dwelling more on philosophies and philosophers pertaining to history. this is fun. i have a lot of history subjects this semester. i love history. i am a history buff! again, the downside is that we will have A LOT OF READINGS. i have to ready a big box where i can dump my old readings, stacks and stacks of photocopies of articles and philosophies of Plato, Aristotle, Marx, Engles, Saint Agustine, etc. i have to clean that up before my parents come home. they're all piled up downstairs! during the semester, our professor also wants us to organize a symposium which would be held at UP Diliman. some prominent speakers would be invited. this shall be fun.

second semester is going to be a tough one too. if not the same as last sem, probably tougher.

my goal? don't slack off anymore. take studying more seriously (although i really really do) and i won't be frustrated even if i don't get the target grade that i want. as long as i know i did my best i will be happy.

on the way home, met up with Jern and had lunch with her at Chowking. i miss my high school friends!

enough about school. there's a Kitchie Nadal and Pido album launching thing at Eastwood next Friday and i so want to go. i must find someone to go with me. i want to see Kitchie Nadal sing and play live!

Spanish class again tomorrow then watch The Forgotten with Ina... i don't know where, though. i left my Spanish workbook at Kuya John's car! man! how am i supposed to get it back? oh well!

toodles! i'm tired. i'm gonna rest now.

yey :) i have a monitor that i can temporarily use. my sister and i agreed to scout for a new one after her final thesis defense next week.

the other day when i went to school for enrollment (only to find out that i got the dates mixed up...) i went to the bookstore to buy notebooks and pens. i realized that classes were going to start the following day and i didn't have supplies with me. tsk tsk. talk about sembreak hangover. so anyway, i got two big notebooks and a pilot 0.4 sign pen (my handwriting only looks decent with this type of pen) and a blue paisely print gift wrapper. i figured i should wrap the notebooks with gift wrapper because at least i get to choose the design i want :) so last night i used the leftover wrapper to wrap my new hardbound journal. i used a cheap school notebook and turned it into a journal where i can write what i can't say here in my blog. i got hooked, too! by 8 PM i had stacks of old teeny bopper magazines with me that i no longer find interesting. cut out words here and there and pasted them to make a cover for the journal.

the product of my fruitful work? tah-dah!!!!

the ocean blue paisely print cover :) i'm going to get more of this wrapper. i love it!


first page of the journal


...the second page with my once-in-a-lifetime studio picture.


...and more.

the journal slash scrapbook is private so why did i go through snipping and pasting and all that labor? i figured, to keep my enthusiasm for writing on this journal... it should at least look attractive and interesting. plus, it's gonna be around for a long time so it might as well look decent enough for me to not throw it to the trash can.

i've always had a flair for arts and crafts. i enjoy cutting and pasting and making lay-outs for scrapbook pages. when i was younger i had origami books and my parents bought art kits from UNICEF. i loved that big box because you can paint, make paper mache, draw, and do a lot more because it's a kit with lots of stuff to do for kids. in grade school, i enjoyed my industrial arts class where we drew, made small sculptures from clay, and made beaded accessories.

art is fun! :)

i'm hoping that the enthusiasm won't die down. next stop? pottery! haha!

i'm in a crappy internet place with noisey boys playing counter strike. the noise is unimaginable. on the way here i thought i could write which was the sole purpose why i came with my sister (she's working on her thesis). must scout for a new monitor or get the old one fixed.

i forgot to talk about the orientation we had for UP Pahinungod for Hospice Care Volunteers. i had to drag my sleepyhead off the bed at 6 AM in the morning for the 8 AM orientation. i was surprised to see that there were only 16 of us but to the head nurse in-charge of hospice care at Palcare, it was a big number already. the head nurse who lectured about hospice care said that we will be taking care of stage 4 cancer patients. i volunteered for ward visits and counselling which means that i have to be emotionally strong for the cancer patients. i can imagine myself in the ward with death hanging thick in the air trying to be as strong as possible to whoever is going to be assigned to me. but the thing is i feel like i can go through anything because i already set my heart into doing this. our group of volunteers is the first batch since hospice care became defunct for a few years. i haven't been interviewed yet, though. it's sort of like counselling so that the people in-charge of the hospice program would get to know the volunteers more and if they are emotinally capable of handling stage 4 cancer patients.

it was a different feeling sitting there inside the conference room at the Pahinungod office. i thought that this was the place where my life-changing process would start and it felt so good to know that i do have a calling to do this work. i feel like i've been putting too much time on myself and less on other people that it's about time to get a move on.

how about the rest of junior year and time management? God will find the way. if this is my calling then it doesn't matter how hectic my schedule can be during 2nd sem. it will still be fulfilling to finally share my life and actually help people get through tough times. i can't wait for the seminars to start. we have to undergo seminars on counselling, dealing with death, etc. before being sent off to the cancer ward at the Philippine General Hospital.

i want to skip the whole seminar process and meet the people.

hopefully, volunteer work will make me a better person and i will be able to make people's lives a little easier than it currently is (i really HOPE this would happen). most of all, i met a lot of new people with the same passion as i do and they will become my support group as well when the volunteer work starts. at some point (the head nurse said) we would become burnt out and drained after counselling sessions and depressed, even. but with a support group to help us through, we will be just fine. that is so cool rather than intimidating. :)

wish me luck! :)

hey folks! sorry to disappoint you but i did not just drop dead and die while i was away. still alive and kicking. my monitor died a week (or more?) ago and it's no longer working which is why i spent the past days indulging in movie marathons. i swear, i've watched so many movies that i get these huge undereye circles and eye "luggages" by nightime. it's coo

the last week of sembreak was a blast. ayayay i can't even keep track of what happened the past week! road trip to antipolo at night and a bird's eye view of Quezon City (beautiful!), laguna road trip and night swimming, start of Spanish classes (which was REALLY fun by the way...), and inuman slash bonding session with kuya john's barkada and my sister at home. we also did a scary movie marathon the other night. kuya john bought these 5 dvds of scary asian flicks. add 2 boxes of pizza, barbecue, sashimi, and sisig... we have our little movie marathon slash inuman slash bonding. after 2 shots i was knocked out, though. haha! gin orange was that strong i decided to bail and dozed off upstairs instead.

so i might be gone for a while until my monitor gets fixed or until we get a new one. stupid monitor. it's been around for just 3 years and it died! no wait. i take that all back. i love that monitor! it stuck with me through good times and bad! i must have abused it to the core (or to the wires hehe) and it died. it's on 24/7 no kidding. i never turn the thing off even when i'm not using it so it must've been overworked. ah well. rest in peace, monitor. i hope you're in a better place now.

so i'm going to sign off now. i'm gonna hit the mall later to buy me school supplies. classes start tomorrow. no, i don't want to go to school yet but that's life.

bye! don't miss me too much while i'm gone. hehehe :P feeling!

i am having one of my headache attacks again. i used to think that this was just migraine but now that i know that i have high blood (at freaking 19!) i know otherwise.

yesterday was fun. my sister and her boyfriend went with me to the hospital at 8 AM. it's funny how more hyper i am when i haven't slept at all during the night. during the 2D echo, it was fun hearing my heartbeat although the other sounds that i heard were pretty freaky. haha :P it was cool :) after st. luke's we three went to McDonald's at Greenhills. i treated the two for breakfast because they had to wake up early too just to bring me to the hospital. we then went to look around the shops. thank goodness The Body Shop at greenhills was still on sale. it was the last day, actually. i got Lip and Cheek Tint for just 295 bucks when it's originally 595 :) this is the only make-up i wear for everyday use unless i feel like putting gunk on my face. i don't think you'd classify it as make-up anyway. i got dvds too: Stepford Wives and Before Sunset.

after looking around for stuff, we went home at around 12 noon. when i got home i crashed the living room and watched Stepford Wives. it was okay.

this morning when i woke up i was suprised to see my sister still asleep when normally she'd be in school already. then i realized that it was holiday today so yeah. that pretty much explained it. since sembreak started, i lost track of what day it is because i pretty much stopped caring altogether. life is good when you're not worrying too much.

we ordered pizza for lunch. she nearly strangled me a while ago when i talked her into ordering a Palm card from Pizza Hut. our bill sky rocketed which was NOT the initial plan. hehe. but we're good now. we're always like that. we'd quarrel and disagree over things but after a while we'd forget that we were mad at each other. one of us would talk to the other first and then when we start talking again, we'd say... "hey! i'm mad at you!" then we'd start laughing. dorks. but yes, i guess when you're family you can't really stay mad at each other for that long because you're pretty much bound together by blood. okay, by love na din.

my tummy is grumbling. pizza!!!!!

okay bye.