my eyes are puffy and the undereye circles around it furthermore emphasize the puffiness. i've been reading the lovely bones the whole day since this morning when i woke up. at 11am i found myself still tucked under my favorite white comforter which i've had since i was a child. even when i haven't washed the sleep off my eyes yet, i struggled to keep my eyes open.

my reading went on until 10 this evening. the book was that good. it was moving... infectuous, even. after putting it down i'm still thinking about it.

the book made me think of my own concept of heaven. some time ago i stopped thinking about heaven the way i used to as a child: clouds everywhere, people wearing all white, winged angels playing harps, and the way people went straight to only one heaven.

i'd like to think that people have their own versions of heaven. when we leave this life, i'd like to think that our heaven would be based on who we are and what we really love. for instance for me, it would be a big garden with fountains and gazebos where i could read all day under a shady tree or bathe under the afternoon sun while napping on the fresh grass. it would be my little piece of Earth on Heaven. the only difference is that physical pain would no longer harm me nor other forms of pain. i would be free from the ropes that tied me while i was living like what time does to a person. i would no longer care if i slept through an entire morning because time does not exist. it won't at all. i would be free as a bird.

my conquest now is to make sure i get to Heaven not to the opposite side of the afterlife.