it's almost midnight. still awake and dizzy because i swallowed two pills for my terrible migraine earlier. excedrin has very high caffeine content and stuck to the bottle is a sticker saying: "May cause dizziness." so yeah, my head is spinning as of the moment. i feel like i'm flyling. hah. talk about being high on drugs. trust me though,it's totally legal and totally safe.

my stomach is doing somersaults too. i feel like i want to throw up but of course you didn't have to know that. i just feel like sharing because i'm sure if i hit the pillow with my head, i'd probably spend hours staring at the ceiling until i fall asleep an hour before i have to wake up.

but i have to sleep. so i'll go TRY to sleep and maybe i'll slip into dreamland sooner than predicted.

my mother and i went to mass earlier at 11am than the usual 5:30pm mass. i realized how i missed going to mass in the morning when the breeze was just right-- not to hot and not too cool either. while listening to the priest's sharing of the gospel, the breeze almost lulled me to sleep as i struggled to keep my eyes open.

i remembered sundays in Myanmar when i was just a little girl. my family and i would hear mass at 10am. i used to love sundays because it was family day when we would eat out after lunch, go to a park, then rent videos to watch when we get home. while my sister and i would lazily sprawl on the floor with eyes glued to the tv, my parents would either take a nap or watch with us. this went on for years and although we did this everytime, it didn't bore us. we enjoyed every single minute of it.

lazy sunday afternoons were the best. they still are.

the weekend was super fun :) i got to see my godson again. he's almost a year old. very playful and he's a happy baby because he's always smiling and laughing. i'm so glad i'm his ninang (godmother)! that makes me so proud! haha! forgive me. he is my first godson which is why i'm to elated to call myself his ninang.

i already got the USB flash disk. i figured instead of storing all the large picture files in the hard drive, i'll be able to store it at the removable disk so that i'll be able to save more space. i tend to save a lot of files (images, mp3s, etc.) which is why the computer usually runs slow.

anyway, to the pictures!

from the cameraphone


from the digicam. hehe. it's not too obvious that i'm crazy over Lugh!!!

my first godson Lugh gave me a visit today. that little boy he's so cute! he has chubby cheeks and he kept running around here and there. he's good friends with amidala and that's so cute. it was fun watching them both because lugh kept laughing each time he got to touch amidala. i ♥ my godson! he came with his two cousins, an aunt, and his mother.

more Lugh pictures here from the cameraphone here

after the guests left at noon, my sister, my mother, kuya john, and i went to katipunan to meet with my cousin at burgundy. then she went with me and my mother to PC Express because i wanted to get a USB removable flash disk. i got one and it's 256MB yay! :) then we went to Cellos Doughnuts N' Dips. i saw the bead shop beside the doughnut shop so i looked around and saw a pair of small crosses so i bought those and made them into earrings. at a cheap price too! when we got home, i saw the man who sells "dirty ice cream". i love dirty ice cream and everyone else wanted a cone too so we bought one cone each. bitiiiiin!

*

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
And back and forth we sway
Like branches in a storm
Change of weather
Still together when it ends
- Sunday Morning, Maroon 5

i will forever love this song particularly that part up there. sigh. sweet, yes?

it's 12:42am. what am i doing still awake? i've been moving back and forth from this computer to the other transferring mp3s and updating playlists. an hour ago i was chatting with my childhood best friend in Myanmar, Esther. she's in Australia studying. it was nice catching up with her. thanks to Pang (he's Thai, another grade school friend in Myanmar). everyone on my MSN IM contact list are my former classmates in Myanmar. it's amazing how everyone is scattered all over the globe-- a bunch of them are studying in Australia, Ji Yoo (my other Korean best friend) is in Singapore, Htike Htike is in the U.S., Phyo is in England, Pang is in Thailand, and Patrick is in Australia too. see? everyone's out of Myanmar. i miss all of them. i grew up with them and a number of them were my classmates from kindergarten to grade four. i told esther that it would be cool if we had a reunion of some sort after we've all graduated. maybe we could meet back in Myanmar or halfway between where everyone's living.

must hop into bed now.

random thoughts:

#1 Sylvia Plath. something about her moves me or perhaps everything about her moves me. i've heard of her name countless times in the past-- of how she was such a brilliant poet and of her notorious suicide brought about by her depression. i wonder why it is only now that i became drawn to her. perhaps her suicide was that intriguing, as well as the life she lived being depressed and all, that made me drawn to her. so when i went to Powerbooks less than two weeks ago, i made a mental note to myself to not leave the bookstore without finding The Bell Jar, Plath's autobiographical novel.

#2 i sympathize with the Muslim Filipinos because they are being branded as "terrorists" just because a number of rebel Muslim Filipinos have been involved with terrorism.

#3 looked at the mirror a while ago and noticed how my hair looked like a messy lump with my ponytail hanging for its dear life. i did not even bother to fix it. i smiled. i realized how i love being home in just my house clothes-- baggy faded t-shirt and shorts. i like the way i can look as haggard as i could possibly look and not give a care about it (not that i don't look haggard on ordinary days... i don't even bother to fix myself up sometimes).

#4 i've become hard-headed in such a way that i refuse to sleep late at night even if my eyes are already half-closed. then in the morning when it's time to wake up, i grumble because i tell myself that i need more sleep.

#5 today i downloaded a hefty amount of photoshop brushes and true type fonts. :) happy!

#6 downloaded more than 15 themes for my phone. it's addictive.

#7 i asked my cousin to buy me a 256MB USB memory stick and i'm going to get it from her condo tomorrow. we might drop by Chello's Doughnuts N' Dips too :9

#8 changed the graphic up there to a picture i took of the sky. i was on my way home and looked up. i love looking at clouds so i used the photo instead.

over lunch of pizza and pasta at Chef de Angelo, we helped a friend pull herself through a bad day. you know who you are: okay lang yan. one day he'll realize what he lost and maybe God sent him your way to make him your stepping stone in finding the right person. dito lang kami para tumulong sa 'yo wag ka mag-hesitate para mag-share ng nararamdaman mo. we love you!

as alicia keys said:

what goes around comes around
what goes up must come down
now who's crying desiring to come back to me

one day you'll sing that song and think of him. hehe. :)

after lunch van said she wanted to look around People Are People. we said okay. WE'RE JUST GOING TO LOOK AROUND. but a few minutes later we came out of the shop with little paperbags in our hands with sunglasses and shirts. laugh tripped over the sunglasses rack. we tried on every piece. no wait. apple did! and then i took pictures.

i hate it when i make plans and just as i am looking forward to them, something comes up.

i made two plans for the long weekend. first, i was supposed to watch Constantine today with my sister. second, i'm supposed to meet with sherwin tomorrow because he's going to introduce me to his (lady) friend.

case #1 i'm supposed to meet with sherwin tomorrow at Robinson's Place but plans changed when my mother said that my godson and his mother are coming tomorrow. my first godson is less than a year old and he's so cute! i met him once when he was four months old. he has chubby cheeks! so yeah, looks like i'm staying home tomorrow. but it's okay, at least i'll get to play with him again. his name is Lugh, by the way. pronunciation is like "Looh".

case #2 planned to watch Constantine with my sister but she bailed out on me because of a birthday party. so looks like i'm not going to watch it afterall. i might as well stop expecting to watch any of the movies that i plan to watch. or maybe i could drag Van and Apple who are both always game to watch movies. only... when it comes to watching after school, i always bail out because usually i'm trying to avoid rush-hour traffic or i'm tired already.

but it's okay. maybe it's a sign that i should do something productive. i have to compile my reports to give handouts to my classmates and then write a written report to submit for AS121.

for now there are two dvds downstairs that my sister got from Riverbanks yesterday and a book (The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath). must get off this computer chair right after i download Alicia Keys's Karma.

new layout because i love rubber ducky and i want something that's simple. :)

my eyesight is getting worse. i know because everytime i put my glasses on at home, i feel a lot better because i can see clearer than i usually can without the glasses. the only decent pair i have right now is the blue plastic one which i rarely use because i feel like i look like a nerd wearing it. but i'll try bringing them daily now because i can't read the white board.

this is the one i'm talking about:

look at my zit!!! :D

one more day to go and it's the long weekend already. i just can't wait. next thursday i leave for Palawan for four days. i'll be sharing a room with van and apple. i can already sense that we will have sleepless nights. but... who am i kidding? i can't not sleep even if my life depended on it. i'm always the first one to give in. one time my friends were sleeping over. we were having a little inuman slash bonding session. while van and apple chatted away, i stole shots while they weren't looking. but van caught me. :P so i had to pass two (or was it three?) shots. then i got really tipsy and i didn't want to get drunk plus my breathing was already heavy so i stopped. i crawled under the covers and promised the two girls that i'd be back. i said i was just going to close my eyes because i was already dizzy. when i woke up it was already morning! the two girls? wow! they went on until 6am when the sun was already up.

that just explains that i have low alcohol tolerance. i get red all over especially my face and then rashes start to appear all over my skin. in the morning my legs would hurt like i've been standing for hours. it has something to do with the veins and i noticed that this happens each time i have alcohol intake even if i drink little (God only knows what would happen to me healthwise if i did get drunk). actually, i'm forbidden to drink because of my heart but i sort of don't live by that rule. hehe. but i've never been drunk my whole life because the moment i get tipsy i get really sleepy and woozy so i stop going any further.

but i like being tipsy-- that thin line in between still being sane yet you feel this certain kind of high. it's like you can say whatever you want to say but you're still conscious and you know what you're doing. argh. it's so hard to explain. but yeah, i like being in between that thin line.

so anyway, why did i start talking about getting tipsy anyhow?

hrm...

the following pictures are from bea's digicam :) these are from the SOCSCI120 class project for the DSS week.

apple, van, tal, bea, and i


us again after practice

more here

i'm going to bed now. my eyes are already droopy. i hope i dream of cotton candy clouds and marshmallows. haha :)

you know what i'm into lately? Save the Last Dance For Me-- yes, that Korean soap opera. :P jologs na kung jologs. i happen to enjoy it. to think that when all the asian soap operas hit the philippines i kept saying that i couldn't see why everyone else was so hooked up on these soaps. but they're actually pretty entertaining because it's shallow. when you live a stressful life, it's good to watch shallow tv once in a while to take your mind off things.

shallow tv shows like that 70s show is very entertaining too which is why i love mondays on star world because they air my favorite sitcoms.

i overslept this evening. i should know by now that switching off the alarm on my cellphone is such a bad idea because i always end up falling back to sleep and then wake up at a much later hour. argh. but thank goodness i was only 30 minutes late so i was able to catch up after apologizing to my professor. these days have been irritatingly hot. summer is just around the bend and it's showing already. i'm irritable when it's too hot.

i finally have photoshop installed here! yey! i bought the installation cd before i went home. i'm blogging from the living room because my mother is trying to get rid of all the junk in the room. heeh. gotta ♥ technology. so much for my wanting to be an anarchist: simplicity! simplicity! simplicity! as Henry David Thoreau said. i seriously favored anarchy when i took up SOCSCI2 and was required to read an essay from Walden by Henry David Thoreau. when you read Where I Lived and What I Lived For, you'd want to flee to the mountains and live in a cabin with a pond to bond with nature. no electricity, no modernity whatsoever. just simplicity. life seems better that way just watching the sunset at dusk and appreciating nature in the morning.

but alas, my mind has already been corrupted by modernity particularly technology. life was made simpler but of course, convenience has a price-- pollution, it is costly, and corrupt people's minds. erm, i wouldn't say i have been fully corrupted yet. i guess life is that way, people need to make way for improvement because just as it has its disadvantages, it also has advantages. i guess people just have to remember to not be too technology driven. i guess people should once in a while remember the convenience of simplicity in this high-tech world.

as for me, i admit that i am a gadget person and if i had money in my hands i would've gone crazy over the latest gadgets. but mind you, i know my limits and i know when my knack for gadgets cross the line to the point of being materialistic. i don't want to be that. as long as the gadgets would serve me useful and as long as they're gifts (or bought with parental consent), i'm perfectly okay.

enough about anarchy hehe. that'll never for happen for me, that i have come to accept.

anyway... pictures of the past weekend. my sister's graduation and the family get-together before my dad left on monday. i saw my cousins again (at least three of them). i love my family. :)

we are family!!! hehe! the first picture is of my mom and her sister. they look soooo much alike!! the little boy in the red shirt with glasses is my cute cousin Chad. the girl in black shirt is my cousin anne who's a year older than i. she's graduating at the end of the sem. the girl in sleeveless is my sister. the other guy in red is my older cousin Zeniel.


graduation at the Plenary Hall of the Philippine International Convention Center (PICC) and crossover buffet lunch at the Saisaki/Dads/Kamayan in glorietta. my mother also bought me The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath at Powerbooks. finally!!! but i'll start this weekend because i don't have time these days.

ganda noh? sa Puerto Galera yan, kinuha ni ate by her cameraphone. no photoshopping whatsoever. i just resized it. kainis. gusto ko pumunta sa Puerto :'( pero okay lang, Puerto Prinsesa naman ako sa March 3. yey! excited na ako!

my sister is graduating tomorrow :) so happy for her! i am forced to wear something formal for the ceremony- skirt, blouse, and heels. i have several pieces of formal clothing in the closet from cocktail dresses, gowns, to blouses. i don't really wear them but they're just there so that i'll have something to wear for formal gatherings. i enjoy dressing up but sometimes i feel uncomfortable wearing formal clothes because they're plain... boring, i guess. must ready the camera for tomorrow of course, there will be lots of pictures taken because it's my sister's special day. wow. i can't believe she's graduating so soon! before we know it she's going to work already and all that. the graduation is at frickin' 7.30 in the morning! imagine? i'd have to wake up real early tomorrow on a saturday morning! i have make-up classes for my anthro class but i won't be able to go because i want to watch my sister graduate. plus, we'll have a family lunch/celebration after that and my father is leaving again on monday so i want to spend this weekend with my family.

i've been susceptible to irritation lately. i have low patience for tactlessness, that i noticed. maybe it's almost that time of the month. it's either that or people are just plain tactless slash annoying sometimes. i try to understand people who unintentionally hurt me with words that come from their sharp tongues. sometimes i also shrug the feeling off-- thinking that maybe i'm just over-reacting. people don't know that i'm sensitive. they also don't know that i don't know how to stand up for myself most of the time nor do i know how to handle hurt coming from words. i'd get tongue-tied most of the time and wouldn't know how to handle my anger when someone steps on me. i'm pathetic that way. i'd secretly ask God to take care of them sarcastic phoney bastards when i know i can't fight the battle alone.

some time last month this person snapped at me. i just looked at the person in astonishment because never in my life have i been snapped at by a friend (someone that i'm not even that close to). but it annoyed the hell out of me when i realized what this person did. i wanted to tap this person on the back and say, "excuse me, did you just snap at me when i asked you a simple question answerable by yes or no?" maybe i would've done just that if i had the guts to or if i was a war freak. but i chose to bite my tongue instead and "forgive and forget". trust me, i do forgive but i have a hard time forgetting especially if i've already been hurt.

i know, people have different moods and personalities. i'm not perfect either. i'm moody at times when i'm not hyper and talkative. i also hurt people (unintentionally). but the thing is, when you hurt people with what you say and sometimes with even your actions... it's not right anymore. i'd like to believe that there's a borderline when it comes to joking around and it should not be crossed because if it was, feelings may be hurt and you know what they say about words... they are as sharp as swords. wound a person's feeling once, there's no turning back. once the words are out there, there's no taking them back to where they came from.

anyway, enough drama. i guess it's human nature for people to hurt people unintentionally. like i said, maybe i'm just over-reacting or maybe i should blame it on my being a girl.

on a lighter note...i created a photolog so that all my cameraphone pictures will be posted there.

visit http://www.phlog.net/user/gailmonique from time to time :) enjoy!

Test post from my cellphone. Globe telecom is so cool they openned all wapsites again. Goody! Good night everyone!

my mother is in love with Amidala. my father told me earlier as Amidala slept on my mother's lap that the little pup is going to be spoiled by us. he said the next thing we know, Amidala's already sleeping in the bedroom. the pup got a hair cut and it's so short! i almost didn't notice her because she looks more like a Chihuahua now rather than a Shih Tzu that she actually is! we brought her to the vet last night to get her groomed-- medicated bath, chopped her long nails, cleaned her ears, dewormed, vaccinated, toothbrushed, and hair cut. she looks so frail without her thick hair but it's for the better. she's going to grow more beautiful hair because it's no longer going to be tangled like it was before.

she looks more fragile now with her almost non-existent hair!



that's only the head. i'll show you the body next time because she kept on running around a few minutes ago. she's now still on my mother's lap sleeping. wahh! she almost looks like a tiny baby falling asleep on the lap of her mother.

on the less cheerful side, i feel awful about the Valentine's Day bombings. how cruel. i agree when a senator (was he?) commented that the past terrorism was a sign of weak police force. how sad! we've seen all these policemen scattered everywhere: eyeing people at the mall, bringing bomb-sniffing dogs to sniff on bags, but the terrorists were still able to carry out their hideous plan. we should feel safe in our country, in the city too. we should feel protected by the ones who should protect us (the government, the policemen, and those who are concerned). but instead what do we feel? agitation. it's not a good feeling. how will you be able to sleep soundly at night knowing that terrorists succeed in carrying out their plans?

lets pray for everyone who got hurt as well as for the 6 or 7 people who died.

I currently hate myself as of the moment because I skipped school—- all my classes for today and I’m sad about it. So why did I do it and end up feeling miserable? I stayed up too late last night catching up with my parents and I really want to spend the day with them. Talked to them all night last night until I realized that my father was really exhausted and how much tired they both might be aside from their jet lag. But I was still up and about at 2 in the morning promising myself that I’d be able to pull myself out of the bed for my 7am class. But lo and behold, at 4am when the alarm went off, I was still awake. Argh. I hate myself. I feel so guilty and the guilt is going to eat my happiness away for today slowly. Then again, my parents are home… seeing them both again after two years has made me really unbelievably happy and no guilt can take that away. At least not now.

I feel pathetic. I had to prod my sister time and time again this morning that it might not hurt skipping one school day. She got annoyed when I kept asking her several hours but kept saying that as long as I’m not in danger of being dropped. Oh my goodness. Of course not!

Yesterday after picking my parents up at the airport, we went to the duty free. I felt like I died and went to Chocolate Heaven. Lindt! Oh my goodness, I’m addicted to that stuff. Too bad they ran out of Reese’s Peanut Buttercup and Bar None.

To kill the guilt, I might as well get a head start on my reports after the grocery shopping later with my mother. Hurray for home cooked meals again!

i'll go make myself feel better now although i have no idea how.

yesterday morning i lazily dragged myself off the bed and walked straight to the bookshelf. i stared at the books for quite a while thinking of what i felt like reading. i picked out a book and several hours later i found myself still in pajamas, hair in a messy ponytail, and nose still stuck to the one i picked out. i literally spent the whole day reading. after eating dinner, i picked the book up again and continued devouring every single page. it's amazing how i never paid much attention to this book because it's a romance novel, the Nora Roberts kind which i don't really read. in the evening i found myself really groggy with my eyes droopy. so as early as 8pm i fell asleep with the book in my hands. i woke up in a trance, unsure if i had slept at all. ever had the feeling of knowing that you did fall asleep but you're not sure because it didn't feel like it? because you knew while you were asleep that your brain didn't stop thinking? (what am i saying? of course the brain never stops thinking even while sleeping! but i'm sure you get me...) i think it happens when you fall into a shallow slumber for an hour.

a day later... it's now Sunday and i did the same. woke up, walked straight to the living room half-asleep with the book in my hands, snuggled on the sofa and read until late afternoon.

it has been a while since i did this. read all day. it felt good. although i may not call it "relaxation" since my eyes have puffy eyebags and shadows under each of them. it's okay. i still feel well rested which brings me to the realization that i've bummed the whole weekend. i haven't worked on my report for thursday. i must to that now to avoid procrastination.

i'll be off to the airport right after class tomorrow. my parents are coming home. i'm so excited already! how i wish i could skip class just to be at the airport earlier than we should be but i can't because i am a reporter for my anthropology class.

hay. the joys of being a bum. i'm off to finish my mango smoothie and the novel i'm reading. don't give me that funny look just because the book is a romance novel :) a light read is recommended once in a while. i thought about finishing Angels and Demons (Dan Brown) but i wasn't up to boggling my mind with the various names, riddles, and puzzles that Langdon has to solve. it just isn't like The Da Vinci Code which i didn't put down until i finished the whole novel.

i hope everyone had a restful weekend!

the faces of victory!!! Organization of Area Studies Majors with Sir Atoy Navarro (in front with the glasses)

we won first place!!! oh yes, we did! :) finally! our two weeks of waking up in the wee hours of the morning, 7am practices, pressure, and tiredness paid off! my 50 bucks was worth it too after paying the amount for being 30 minutes late one practice morning. thank you, Lord. the third year block 9 became more united. fun times! good thing Bea and I have pictures (tons!) to remember this by. i'm not the official photographer anymore because Bea has a camera too! whee! haha! :) now we have a back-up camera if i run out of battery. now we'll have to start working on the class scrapbook which is also a class project for SOCSCI120 class. the Department of Social Science Variety Show was a success! all of the other orgs and course representatives did really well especially block 4 of the POLSCI people. their presentation was hilarious!

after the show the seniors treated us juniors for pancit at the tambayan which is why i came home late. argh. my whole body hurts! i woke up at 4:30 this morning to get to school on time. we started practicing at 7:30am until noon. i'm so happy we won! but it's not just about winning... it's all about the good times we spent laughing, cramming, and being pressured to do our best to bring honor to the org (naksss). besides, it was a whole lot of fun working with my blockmates. they're the best ever! we may have had petty disagreements while we prepared for the presentation but in the end we all realized how much each person's participation mattered and how much it contributed to the success of the whole presentation.

the theme for DSS week was Baklas (deconstruction). when you relate it to society, it means breaking away or deconstructing from societal norms. especially some Filipinos who still live in the "Dark Ages". homosexuality is still not accepted openly by society, ethnic groups are still stripped away of their lands, laborers's rights are still violated and in short, we still haven't broken away from our being conservative.

i couldn't think of a better theme for the whole department week. i firmly believe that the theme was a brilliant idea because we need to open our minds and welcome new changes in society. we should no longer live in the dark. our society will forever be undergoing changes whether we like it or not and instead of judging people, violating their rights, and making it hard for everyone... we should compromise and give change a chance. after all, in every change... improvements for the better arise.

we depicted our class's belief by depicting the various people who are oppressed and by showing that from the dark, we can rise by cutting the strings that our dominating oppressors have attached to us. we showed the different forms of activism: cyberactivism, volunteerism, radical activism, and keeping track of current events (and actually caring!). these were just among others. there were the interpretative dancers, the jazzers, and the street dancers. for street dance, the music was hip-hop but the lyrics was urging Filipinos to do whatever they want and not let the fact of being Filipino hinder them from making a difference.

we ended the presentation by chanting:

Bayan, Bayan, Bayan ko! Di pa tapos ang laban mo!

i remember Ave's report on the US Naval Bases Agreement. i'm relating this to Baklas because we need to learn to stand on our own without depending on foreigners for our country to survive. unfortunately, it is a difficult thing to do. Ave ended with a conclusion that the battle the Katipuneros fought for us is still not over. we're still striving for freedom from foreigners so we could finally stand our own. according to her, "Filipinos should never stop fighting until we are truely free."

Amen to that!

and now some pictures! i'll upload the others tomorrow.

after the show :)


mabuhay ang mga P.G. !!! this was during practice. :)



camera? what camera?


mga bangag. *bow*


look! i have a plate! hehe!


buhay P.G. ÜÜÜ food! food! fooooood!

wow. i'm really worn out. the intermission number during the symposium my block handled went well. everyone laughed. phew. plus, we had practice again. tomorrow's the big day. after tomorrow, there will be no early morning practices anymore. i'm really tired. tried to sleep when i came home but i couldn't. i'm not used to taking a nap anymore which is why my head weighs a ton right now and my shoulders hurt. i think i'll start preparing the things i need for the presentation tomorrow (costume, make-up, etc.) because we are all prohibited to be late. 7:30am sharp. a whole lot of practicing again before the actual presentation at 1pm. didn't have class today because we were excused from them. we had to be at the symposium on comic books in the Philippines and its relevance to the making of history (something to that effect). it was surprisingly interesting, if you'd ask me.

i bumped into Den (former blockmate) on my way out of the campus earlier. i kept on inquiring about the Youth for Christ prayer meetings last year and he's still urging me to join. i really want to. i might drop by tomorrow. this will help me big time.

i nearly brokedown and cried a few minutes ago. i frantically searched for the two articles assigned for me for reporting (HIST116 class). my sister and our helper cleaned the room where i put all the readings (now called "junk" because i've used them already) in four garbage bags! i was so angry because they should've waited for me to sort out which readings i want to keep and might still be useful in the future. thankfully, i found the two articles after rummaging the third bag. the articles are on Deconstruction and Development Porgram for Southern Philippines and Muslim Filipino Response To Christianity: Moro Resistance to Christian Political Domination. i'll have to work on the report this weekend because i'm up for reporting next week.

freddy and kendra won The Amazing Race! yahoo! but life is unfair, isn't it? they're both beautiful people, engaged, and models... plus they're millionaires now. grr. :) heeh!

i'm off to watch American Idol.

i want to read The Bell Jar (Sylvia Plath) because that's where i am right now: in a bell jar. like i said before, i'm like a lost little firely trapped inside a jar. i can see what's the wide world out there but the jar is keeping me from flying to it. i want to travel to different places, i want to write a book, i want to volunteer for organizations, i want to volunteer for CRIBS... the list is just too long!

i've been fascinated with books related to psychology lately. not entirely "psychology" related but somewhat related to the minds of people-- of women my age, in particular. people's minds (or behavior) fascinate me. people are different and mysterious in many aspects and that makes them all the more interesting. besides, i see myself as psychedelic. don't be fooled by my normal appearance. it's just sad to know that some people are mostly misunderstood and often misjudged before even getting to know them. i'm not claiming to be not judgemental. i'm not proud of that side of myself but i'm really trying to let go of that. i've been judged (or at least it felt like it) for a couple of times and it's not a good feeling.

so i went to church after school today. i went to the small chapel adjacent to the church too and said my prayers. i made a mental note to myself to visit the chapel (it's so quiet inside) after school at least once a week just to be at peace and say my prayers. while waiting for the mass to start, i checked out the bulletin board with posters on different events. one poster caught my eye: the World Youth Day in Germany. i remember two years back i really wanted to go but i had school. in August, it's going to be in Germany and it would cost $1500+ including the processing of papers, lodging, etc. isn't that cool? August also happens to be the month when i turn 20 (que horror!) it's good to daydream that i might go (it's a dream, you know) but when i snap out of the daydream, i remember that there's school (senior year!) and well, asking the parents for that much money for the World Youth Day although they'd probably think that it's for a good cause. but argh! it's so frustrating! i want to go!

it would be a dream trip, you know: wanderlust + spiritual journey + meeting new people of different races + growing spiritually (in general)= one fulfilled individual.

so i made a pact with myself:

I WILL GO TO A WORLD YOUTH DAY CELEBRATION one day. i promise, i will.

lately i've been itching to take a trip to Quiapo or Riverbanks just to buy dvds but i'm too paranoid (or is it my conscience speaking?). buyers of pirated dvds would actually serve jail time if caught so i'm not going to step into a pirated dvd stall until the paranoia dies down or until i gather enough guts.

nothing profound to say-- which sucks, basically. i've been wanting to write so bad for the past few days but rack as hard as i can, i still can't find the right things to talk about. i'm getting tired of writing this-is-what-happened-today entries. i don't think people even care about what crazy or good things happen to my life. my life is boring anyway except for some days when i feel like going out and doing things that i usually enjoy. other than that i'm only at school or at home. dork, yes?

to cheer myself up a bit and put smiles to faces who need to be brightened up, i'm going to sort through the huge trunk of bags which were hardly used (there are A LOT). i'm going to donate them to the UP Pahinungod so that i can be a productive citizen for a change. there's a Valentine's Day bazaar by the UP Pahinungod at the PGH Quadrangle so if you want to donate stuff (anything from books, bags, toys, etc.) just email me crazygirlgail@yahoo.com. the proceeds will go to the UP Pahinungod programs like Hospice Care, Program for the Street Children, etc. or if you want a portion of the profit of your sales, you can have it as long as you give a little to the Pahinungod.

i wish school permitted me to engage more of my time to volunteering for the program. but come to think of it, volunteering is MAKING TIME not FINDING TIME. so i might be productive this year. i hope so. last year, all the counselling workshops, etc. were scheduled during days (and times) when i had class so i couldn't attend most of the time. argh. that was very frustrating. i wanted to take up that counselling workshop. i think the other people from the Hospice Care program already visited the Cancer ward. that makes me sad :( they say you can't visit the ward yet unless you've taken up the counselling workshop. :'(


it's the Department of Social Science week, by the way. so we've been listening to symposiums. i've been to two already. yesterday's topic was Ang Pagkalalaki ng Mga Lalakeng Pilipino (hrm, pretty interesting) and today's topic was on the conditions of the Filipino laborers (particularly those of Hacienda Luisita). then tomorrow it's film showing-- If These Walls Could Talk (a film about homosexuality). last year we watched El Crimen del Padre Amarro. i liked it.

practice again tomorrow. actually, the contest/presentation is on friday. yikes. Lord, help us through.

do me a favor and click on this link: I want to know more about Jesus. i was browsing through the www.hopenet.net.ph website. i was invited to write for them, by the way. happy :) visit them.

random photos from our days of practice:

left:apple and van right: krizia and m'self

left: krizia and the splintered thumb right: er, krizia! dito tingin!!!

it was a fun weekend. it was really long and exhausting but really fun. on saturday morning we had practice again. the juniors have been working so hard on this presentation, i'm so proud of my batchmates. van and apple slept over because after the practice we went home. rested for a few hours (i fell asleep on the couch while they watched tv) then went to Don Bosco in Mandaluyong for the JIG dance competition. although our plans went haywire and we weren't able to watch Bamboo, we still had fun. we went to Rockwell and met up with Raul but didn't stay for long because it didn't turn out as what we had expected it to be (the event, i mean). we went to starbucks instead and prodded krizia for information on her HOT COUSIN hahaha :P

the rest of the night (or morning) was fun because when we got home van, apple, and i stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking.

they just left so i'm up here uploading pictures of yesterday's practice. fun!

this is my favorite of all the pictures. heeh :) the girls of 3rd year block 9. we're not technically a block anymore but it still feels like it. left-right: bea, tal, van, apple, me, chezka, krizia, and iesel. novee's in front of bea.

more pictures here

you do know that life is full of drama right?

well, the past few days have been really exhausting. i'm really tired now and sometimes i think i want to throw in the towel and quit. sometimes i feel like locking myself up in the room and cry or feel sorry for myself for being too stressed out. i have a lot of things in my mind right now, mostly about school stuff and it's really taking its toll on me. it's amazing how i'm almost in senior year but i'm still not used to the heavy workload, pressure, and stress. sometimes i just have to bite my lip and keep my composure to get through a day. THIS IS NOT EVEN SENIOR YEAR YET. only God knows if i'll survive.

so what's up with me lately? nothing new, really. just school. we've been working on our class presentation for our part for the Department of Social Science week next week. we've been really working hard because we want to ace our SOCSCI120 class. it's a contest against the other DSS orgs and as a requirement, our SOCSCI120 prof wants us to do well because he'll also grade us. it's tiring. we have to wake up real early and get to school as early as 8:30am just to practice in the morning. i can't say that these practices weren't fun. they really were. it's just draining, that's all. but we're working as a team and so far so good.

stayed at school up to 5pm today because we brainstormed for hours after the dry-run during SOCSCI120 class. EACH DAY IN SCHOOL NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME. even now that i'm on my third year. i learn something new everyday, it's like having an epiphany daily. sometimes you'd think that you've already learned all the possible lessons to be learned and then life will surprise you with new lessons. my professors are awesome that way. they share their knowledge and passion through an unexplicable way that you'd learn something you wouldn't have learned otherwise if it weren't for them. three years at UPM made me a better person, i tell you. it's hell when i think about work but i've learned that the things you learn in school aren't just the theories, facts, formulas, and other academic-related information. sometimes what matters MORE are the bits and pieces that you are able to pick up from people around you-- friends, professors, and blockmates. like now, when i look back and replay freshman to senior year, i've grown a lot and i've learned a lot too and i owe all of this knowledge to everyone in school. that's why i love everyone there so much even if they stress me out.

at practice Ü


bea, crystal, novee, chezka, and i :P


brainstorming after school at the Oble Garden and... erm, eating Ü

my body aches, really. my feet hurt too and i'm so sleepy. it's no T.G.I.F. for me. i still have to be at school around 9am tomorrow for yet another practice. horrible. i need to rest.

good night, world.

jane did this. looks interesting so i'm going to do my version. afterall, my former POLSCI160 professor (Bing Ragsag) said that you can tell a lot by the contents of a person's bag. in my case, i don't know what you could say about my personality hehe except that i really need more "kikayness" in the system. Jane, Jern, Dei, and Leigh... teach me how!

this is my Benetton messenger bag. small bags do not work for me. i used to like tote bags but not anymore because i realized that i can never use small bags. my friends would agree with me when i say that i can't use small bags. heeh. i use this all the time. it's really convenient!


my sister gave it to me because she knew i liked it.


my hygiene kit which doesn't look girly at all. heeh.


my hygiene kit. just two small bottles of Lemon Drop cologne from Baby Bench and a spritz bottle of Johnson's Baby cologne. depends on which i feel like spraying. then there are two packets of tissue and a bottle of hand sanitizer (not in picture). this is my idea of a "kikay kit". pfft. having lip and cheek tint from The Body Shop and a little blush on is as kikay as i could get. but when i feel like putting gunk on my face, i can manage. just not everyday.


a purple brush because i love PURPLE.


a pencil case which i don't really need since i only use a Pilot G-Tec 0.4 and an orange dermatograph for highlighting notes.


members from ASAP-KATIPUNAN handed these out yesterday. IPAGLABAN ANG KARAPATAN NG ISKOLAR NG BAYAN!


my big notebook which i covered with a magazine page from PULP. it's an advertisement of a record store. then there's my 20GB iPOD with a pink skin. i wanted to get the GREEN one and i regret buying the pink one. there's no day that i don't stare at the iSKIN and wish it were green. :(


a pocket mirror from way back senior year high school and my planner.


of course, my temporary i.d. i lost my real id during registration before junior year, that sucks.


my cellphone with the Yan Yan teddy bear. it came with a nametag. "Margaret" is her name ;)

for the stacks of photocopied readings, i bring a file case with me because i hate it when i carry a heavy book bag. my shoulder suffers too much.

______________

my block and i like to sit along the hallways before a class. we like to laugh there and just hang out sharing stories. this is us! this morning was fun. talking about our crushes is always fun especially stalking! hahaha! kidding. :P

today in pictures:

apple and krizia. seryoso makinig ng tsismis! hehe! kidding :D


me, van, and mitchie still along the hallway outside our next class.


meet Doodeeda :) hehe! she's half-bred: half-askal and half i-don't-know-what-breed. my grandmother named her that. she was cuter when she was still a puppy. now she's so big! she's friends with Amidala our shih-tzu.


another one...


and another one.

i hate to sound like a bitter unattached female but couples out there, please! let me remind you that too much P.D.A. (Public Display of Affection) and necking in public can be freaking annoying and embarassing for OTHERS. gross.

on the way home this afternoon, i sat across a couple who were necking and couldn't keep their hands off each other. it was disgusting rather than cute because it took me a lot of effort to throw them a nasty look and ask them to "get a room". i had to pretend that i was sleeping while praying to get to Q.C. already so i can get off far away from those two.

i'm really tired. i can't wait for the weekend again. there are two concerts lined up: the Bamboo guesting at Don Bosco where UPM Indayog is competing in a street dance competition, plus that concert at UPM with lots of (GREAT) bands. i really want to go but the problem is when i step into the house, i don't want to go out again. it happens every weekend when i can catch on my Zs and bum all day.

so what now? we'll see. oh, outsiders are allowed to the UPM concert, by the way. just in case any of you guys are interested.