hello, i'm alive

finally. a chance to blog. i'm using my father's computer. acutally, this was mine before, my very first computer so imagine how ancient this machine already is and lets not forget how SLOW it is. my laptop's letter "P" went crazy. it kept typing Ps non-stop which is why i just surf and stay away from typing otherwise i'd type P all over the place. so i'm going to bring it to the service center tomorrow after class.

i just typed a long-ass entry on how i watched Hotel Rwanda and War of the Worlds but then my mother came and fixed the desk, moved the extension cord accidentally and wham. my computer shut down.

i'll retell the story next time. definitely in no mood to retype what i said in that post because this computer is so SLOW. argh.

signing off..

insignificant post. but i'll post anyway.

i already finished the book (Here on Earth, Alice Hoffman) i bought yesterday. when my mother saw me engrossed in the book and how far i already was she was surprised to see me finish it just like that. it's a good book, you know. to think that i was really worried yesterday if i'd have enough free time (with school an all) to read for pleasure. anyway, i really liked it. that's why i couldn't put it down except when i had to sleep, eat, bathe, go to mass, and pick up my new glasses.

i'm suprised at how sharp my vision could be with glasses on. i've been living without them for so long by neglecting the fact that i had to wear glasses and now it's a beautiful world! HAHA! okay i'm kidding.

i need to go on another trip to Books For Less this week. i really really must. you must believe me when i say that that place is a treasure box for bookworms like me. maybe i can talk my father into driving me there again the next weekend. hurray!

it's raining heavily over this side of metro manila. i think i'll go snuggle under the covers now and at least just this once, i might fall asleep before midnight.

long day

i had such a long day. i'd like to congratulate myself for being awake since 5am this morning. i was literally out and about at that time with my parents. we did a lot of things but most of all i finally got to make the long-awaited visit to the opthalmologist. my suspicion was correct all along, the grade of my eyes went higher especially the left eye. i'm both nearsighted and i have astigmatism. so my migraine attacks are here to stay because i hardly wear my glasses when i'm out of the classroom. the doctor said migraine occurs when the eyes cannot adjust to focusing on the things it sees. but judging from the way i am seeing things these days, the world is a BLUR. so i'm going to be forced to wear my glasses more often now or else i'd still be the girl who'd wave at a stranger enthusiastically only to find out when i'm already much closer that the person who i thought i knew was a stranger afterall! imagine the horror i'd have to go through chanting my endless apologies.

i also went to Books For Less. i was like a little kid in a candy store! there's a Chocolate Kiss Cafe downstairs and a Papemelroti store in the building too. i'd like to hang out there next time. i'll have to learn how to drive first so that i can steal the car because i have no idea how to get to that place by commuting (except if i take a cab but that would cost me a lot). the book i got is called Here On Earth by Alice Hoffman (author of Practical Magic). the book has nothing to do with the movie, by the way. they just have the same titles.

imagine my dismay when i found a copy of White Oleander for just P248!!! i got mine at National Bookstore brand new and it costed about P400 if i remember correctly. they have both versions of the two covers:

i have the cover on the right. too bad i really want the original one. i also hate the way they had to turn it into motion picture although Michelle Pfeiffer and the girl who played Astrid carried their roles really well. i like the book a lot more though (as always).

i just got home. i'm so tired and it's raining. i can just crawl to bed and sleep until tomorrow. sigh

i'll start reading now and maybe, just maybe i can write that econ paper tonight so that i'll have tomorrow night free.

about Positive Lives.

one of the photos from the Positive Lives mini exhibit last summer at St. Scholastica's College in Manila. credit goes to the photographer who captured this photo of a girl living with HIV.

Positive Lives-- a project where photographers from around the world capture faces of those infected of HIV/AIDS.ddd

geek talk

i was internet deprived the past few days. the other remaining days... it was my choice to stay away from it for a while. i am currently nursing a backache from my sleeping in a fetal position. i don't know why or how i do it but i seem to enjoy sleeping that way.


this illustration by the talented Kurt Halsey Frederiksen depicts exactly how i sleep. illustration credit goes to the artist. image taken without permission from his website. oh, he's my current favorite artist next to Van Gogh, by the way.



i want to get this book. i stumbled upon a blog and the title of the book caught my attention. if nobody speaks of the remarkable things by Jon McGregor. so after searching amazon for the book and reading the synopsis, it's official-- i must hunt down a copy! speaking of books, today during my first class i was debating with myself whether to go to the Books for Less store or not. i wanted to go because there are good deals there and i'm on a tight budget. plus, some of the old books aren't available at the other bookstores even if i do want to get books that are shiny and new. but i ended up not going because of my backache. i wanted to just go home and rest.

i must not rest until i find these books:
the virgin suicides (Jeffrey Eugenides)
girl, interrupted (Susanna Kaysen)
i never promised you a rose garden (Joanne Greenberg)
a long way down (Nick Hornby)

it's not like i have all the time to read (oh no, i don't). i don't know, i miss reading a good book.

my eyesight is getting worse. i can't see the board in my classes anymore so most of the time i annoy the hell out of my seatmate asking about the things written on the board. okay, i'm not really sure about the annoying part but i do know that i need to have my eyes checked again and my glasses worn more often than i really wear them (ALMOST NEVER!). i might be making that visit to the doctor on saturday because i'm that desperate already.

oh well! have a great long weekend to schools in Manila because we have the day off tomorrow (friday) because of Manila Day. yeyness!

of Hip Lola and Father's Day

if you haven't heard, the Queen of England got herself a shiny silver 4gb iPOD Mini. wow! and she's 79 years old! this website said she'll probably look like this.and you can read more about the hip Queen here where i originally heard of the news the other day. talk about a "hip Lola"! speaking of "hip lolas", there's this old lady in church who i fondly call "Lola Bombshell" because with her age, she really looks good-- she's very tall and very slim. she looks so good in jeans and does her make-up really well (not too thick and not too pale either).

i just finished my paper for econ and my fingers are stiff again like they've been locked up in a freezer. okay, maybe not that stiff but they're really half frozen right now. i spent father's day with my family by going to church in the morning, lunch at China Town (food was good, by the way), bought dessert, then straight home. we were supposed to watch a movie at Gateway because my father wanted to try Taco Bell for dinner but after lunch everyone was tired (they came from the province yesterday and still haven't rested enough) so we decided to watch a movie on thursday instead.

i feel bad because i accidentally crushed my father's eyeglasses with my right foot. when i got into the car, i didn't see it under the backseat. so when i stepped my right foot in i heard a loud CRRRRUNNNCCCH! i got so scared. when i looked under my feet, it was my father's poor glasses. i would have felt better if it were just ordinary pair of glasses but it's GUCCI so the guilt is killing me although he didn't get mad because he knows it was an accident. sigh

i want to go dancing. i want to dance to trance/euphoric/electronica songs with lights that make me dizzy minus the smoke that makes my eyes watery. i haven't gone dancing in a while because i sometimes enjoy dancing alone in the room more because i'm free to do whatever i want to do without worrying about psychos trying to dance with me and hit on me when all i want to do is dance. no more, no less. i haven't gone dancing in a year (or more). i'd like to do that soon when i'm guilt-free of spending one saturday night going dancing.

if you're into trance/chillout/electronic/euphoric music, download these songs:

1. No Ordinary Morning (Chicane)
You could give a million reasons change the world and change the time
Could not give me the secrets of your heart and of your mind
In the darkness that surrounds you now there is no piece of mind
Your careless words undo me, leave the thought of us behind

2. Children (Robert Miles)
download it! no questions asked!

3. Love on the Run (Chicane)
Like love on the run there will be tommorow
the stars and the sun every beam I'll follow
Together we're dancing all night long
together we're dancing on and on
The sound of the drum keeps my soul depending
each day and each night and its never ending
Together we're dancing all night long
together we're dancing on and on

all of the above take me on a natural high :)

by that i end my post. it's past midnight. yikes. i wasn't planning on blogging tonight. yikes.

Batman Begins and on human relations

yesterday i waited for a text from Ais because we planned the night before to watch a movie at megamall. but she didn't text and i didn't text (i think she was waiting for my text too hehe). then Ina texted if i wanted to go out because she was bored, i said i was bored myself and we planned to meet up. an hour later we were at Megamall where i got something i planned on buying then we had dinner and caught Batman Begins at Podium. i would have liked the movie more if Batman wasn't too destructive (meaning: destroying things along the way to save the city. examples: destructing the guardhouse, the roads, concrete walls of the buildings of Gotham City). by the time Gotham City was saved, the city was already 3/4 destroyed! HAHA! then there was my migraine. since i only had a few hours of sleep because i stayed up all night until 3am, there was the attack of my killer migraine. i had a splitting headache that i wanted to chop my head off and remain painless. but of course, that would be stupid because the reason why it's going to be painless is because I'M ALREADY DEAD! but aside from the silly minor details, it was great.

then we stayed for three hours at Starbucks TALKING. again. when it was time to leave i was quite surprised that it was already 10pm! we got there at 7pm and time just flew like that. when i got home my headache was worse. i wanted to throw up and came to the point when i wanted to cry (it hurt that much!!!). so what i did was i just showered and then when i got to the room i switched off all the lights. i fell asleep after that. i hate migraines but i should know better than to leave my travel container of Excedrin pillls to take the pain away. but then again, i started hating Excedrin after finding out how much caffeine a pill actually contains (too many, i tell you). caffeine content is too high that it would really take the pain away but you'd get nauseous side effects after. so i took Pontsan 500 last night. downside was that it didn't work as fast as Excedrin so when i hit the pillows, i was still in pain.

plus, my whole family is in the province. they'll be back later but i was pretty much alone last night. i hate it when i'm alone when i don't feel well. heeh.

you know how forgetful i am? one of the reasons why Ina and i met up again was for me to return the CDs i borrowed because her ipod is empty now. she accidentally deleted all her playlists. but guess what? I FORGOT THEM! HAHAHA! so we're going to meet up again because her ipod is lonely. hurray for me, though. she lent me more CDs and what i like the most is the Chillout Session cd she lent me. yeyyy! now i'll get my trance/euphoric music fix that i've been waiting for a long time.

Fete dela Musique later. i'm going with a bunch of my school friends. lets not hope it rains because last year was a disaster.

and i'll be bringing migraine medication along, just in case.

________________

yesterday i realized that human relations are so complicated. like there are a billion people in the world-- different personalities, interests, lives, backgrounds, and ideals. it's hard to find someone with the same wavelength and someone you'd actually understand. people aren't like robots that we can actually program their personalities according to our likings. people don't have the sets of codes that would actually help you fix whatever's wrong with them because the flaws are neverending and sometimes undetectable.

if there's one thing in life i understand, it's that people are so different that you can't expect them NOT TO CHANGE and you can't expect EVERYONE TO LIKE YOU all time. humans will continue to hurt humans whether intentional or unintentional. humans will continue to not understand some people. example? lets call two people PERSON #1 and PERSON #2. for PERSON #1, his idea of happiness is being a constant dean's lister and succeeding in academics. for PERSON #2, it is the little things that makes him happy like splashing his barefeet into puddles of mud, dancing in the rain, reading good books, or simply living life to the fullest. i don't mean to point out that PERSON #1 does not have a goal of living life to the fullest. it's just that he's more focused on the more serious details of his life. while some people may scowl in annoyance because PERSON #1 is always serious, they label him as "the geek, the nerd, and the bookworm". but why don't they stop and think that maybe these are the things that make him happy? he feels most contented by achieving academic excellence, locking himself up in a room and read... and that he just might be contented by the introvert that he is?

for PERSON #2, those who belong to the group of "the geek, the nerd, the book" might scowl in disgust on PERSON #2 because they think that PERSON #2 is lesser of a person than them because he doesn't get good grades, spend hours in the library, or is responsible enough to achieve in academics. they might think that he will never go far because he's a "happy, go lucky" type of person. but did they stop and think that he must have different ideals and that these are the things that make him truely happy? to be carefree and not play by the rules?

you see, people are different that way. but one thing's not going away (that's for sure)-- it is our ability to judge people from what we see in the outside. maybe we should give people who have different ideals a chance because we can't expect people to act the same way as we do just because we think what we're doing is right.

i met one person in my past who wanted me to act according according to the things he believed in. he may not have directly imposed it but it was evident that from the viewpoint he had.

in all relationships: friendship, girl-boy relationship, and family relationship, i believe that it is most important to not impose too much on a person and give her/him sets of instructions on what to be and how to act because every person has the right for personal growth. no matter how committed we are to our loved ones (whether friends, family, or "loved one"), we should still have room to be ourselves... to test the murky waters and learn to swim beyond the set boundaries set to us by our counterparts. one day we will truely surprise ourselves that we could do better than what we believed we could do and that, i believe, is priceless.

human relations are complicated aren't they? but they need not stay that way if we only make room for new ideas and breakaway from our old ideals. it is by truely accepting and understanding a person that we come to embrace "humanity". by definition in dictionaries, it means:

The condition or quality of being human.

disclaimer: i am not imposing my thoughts regarding human relations on you because this is just me.

good karma or am i just lucky?

i altered the layout of the blog a bit because the font of the whole blog body is just too small that it's hard to read. it's either the too small font or my worsening eyesight that made me move around the text bodies a bit (the post body and the side bar).

i haven't written in a while because i've been either too lazy or too tired whenever i come home from school. i have developed an abnormal eating pattern since school started because my classes start either before or after lunch or i come home too late for dinner (or too tired..). so anyway, i'm not complaining although the abnormal eating pattern makes me really dizzy and light-headed at the end of the day. but that's okay because i'm only toxic on wednesdays. other days i get off really early. it's just the Change of Matriculation process that made me really tired this week because of lining up and walking around here and there to get the process right. but thank goodness i'm already done with that!

yesterday after my class ended at 5.30pm, i was already in the car with my father when i realized that i left my digicam (my FIRST ONE EVER) on the floor in class!!! so from UN Ave. my dad had to make that turn and my heart was already pounding when i went to the classroom. the lights were already off and i was so thankful when i found the plastic bag on the floor right where i left it. phew! i would've been in trouble if it was stolen! i must have done something right because of my good karma. this is my second time for being really lucky to find things when it could have been lost or stolen.

the first one was when my phone (which was only a few weeks old then) fell from my zipper-less messenger bag. good thing this lady called out to me right after i stepped out of the vehicle. she then handed to me my phone which apparently fell on the seat i sat on. i said a lot of thank yous before the vehicle drove off. i silently said thank you to GOD too for bringing such a nice lady to the FX i took to school. so i figured i must have done something right that made me deserve meeting nice people like that.

my blockmate Paolo also had his phone returned by a security guard at Powerbooks in G4 after he accidentally dropped it while tying his shoe laces in the store. a few minutes after he left Powerbooks, he realized that his new phone was missing. so he went back to the store and the guard gave him his phone back. as a reward, he bought boxes of Wetzels Pretzels for the good man.

see? good karma, i tell you. as my shirt goes, "what goes around, comes around." if you're sending out good vibes and you're nice to people, you'll bump into nice people too when the right time comes.

you don't have to be Mother Teresa or a saint, for that matter, to at least try and be nice. all you have to do is at least refrain from hurting people, cheating on them, and be angst-ridden all the time like the whole world is against you or something.

i read this from a book, it said:

"If you can't be nice to people, at least don't hurt them."

so yeah. it doesn't hurt to try AND it does PAY!

and...

this is the part when you say, "oh no, it's another of gail's music rants" and you can even be my guest by rolling your eyes if you think the things that i listen to are for dorks.

this list is inspired by Ina's soundtrack post and because we exchanged cds, we've been listening to the same things. some of the songs here were introduced to me by the borrowed cds. others i downloaded from Limewire, others i ripped from my cds.

Somewhere in Between (Lifehouse)
it's the type of song that you'd want to slow dance to with a special person. really. i told a friend once that the reason why i'm into rock/pop rock/alternative or whatever names you'd call it is because they have so much emotions. i mean rock songs are like that aren't they? you can feel the sentiments of the lyrics piercing through your heart without being too mushy that it's almost unrealistic already. instead of feeling "wow", you'd feel like "eck, how cheesey." (eck, how queso). they really don't overdo the lyrics.

A Sort of Fairytale (Tori Amos)
she rocks. if i had a voice like that, i'd definitely sing! i love this song. i usually listent to it when my ears have had enough of guitars and loud-ass bass in the background. it sort of mellows the mood, this song. i also download several of her songs like Cornflake Girl, Firefly, Sweet the Sting, and Love Song (the cure cover).

Fallen (Sarah Maclachlan)
who doesn't love Sarah Maclachlan? i love this song. i like her the way i like Tori Amos. her songs make me feel mellow and relaxes the nerves after playing too many rock songs.

Champagne Supernova (Oasis)
How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky


who doesn't love this song? i love iiiiiiiiit! although i have no idea what the hell a "champagne supernova" is. this song takes me on a natural high, the type of song that you'd want to listen to when stuck in a traffic or just driving around with not a destination in mind.

but according to what i've researched, Noel Gallagher himself wrote "The song is a bit of an epic. It's about when you're young and you see people in groups and you think about what they did for you and they did nothing. As a kid, you always believed the Sex Pistols were going to conquer the world and kill everybody in the process. Bands like The Clash just petered out. Punk rock was supposed to be the revolution but what did it do? Fall."

so yeah. i think the whole concept of the song is like the local "Alapaap" by Eraserheads. they say it's about drugs and the like but if you think about it in a different way, you can take the song as asking you to leave reality for a while and get high (THE NATURAL WAY, mind you). it's all a matter of perception and of course, the choice of which you want to believe. although i must say... if the song writer said he wrote the song about this, it affects your view on the song meaning big time. nevertheless, this is reality. we might as well take it in because this isn't a perfect world like that of Alice in Alice in Wonderland where bad things just exist in dreams and not in reality.

oh man, i'm so into this song. it does show, doesn't it?

Somewhere Only We Know (keane)
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

wouldn't it be really great if someone asked you "why don't we go somewhere only we know?" i know it is for me! for some reason i've been into songs with piano in the background like Landed (Ben Folds). great voice, great beat, great instruments... GREAT SONG! this song takes me on a natural high!

Collide (Howie Day)
when i listen to this song in the car at night as i watch the world outside pass by in a blur, i get high. i don't know... there's something about the song that gives people hope that no matter how big this world is and how many different people there are... there will be one person you'll "collide" with.

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide


cool huh?

Yellow (Coldplay)
Coldplay rocks my socks and if ever they come to town.. i'll definitely splurge on good seats just to see Chris Martin! i'm so jealous of Paltrow. grawr. i just love this song because it has a melancholic melody to it.

The Scientist (Coldplay)
another melancholic awesome Coldplay song. actually, i love all their songs! so no need to elaborate on how they rock and their songs too!

_________

this is getting pretty long! i'll add more in the future! HAHA! :) consider this the first installment of the songs i dig.

coffee talk and more

it's raining, it's pouring, and i'm high again.

i've been waiting for rain for days now. not that i want to go to school while it rained (believe me, i want anything but that). but the whole weekend i prayed and prayed that it would rain.

i met up with Ina this afternoon right after i processed my forms for enrollment for Sir Betan's class. we exchanged CDs because we like the same type of music (we're into rock bands, mostly). we spent two hours at Gloria Jean's talking. laugh trip si Ina. i was talking to her about the C.S.I. Miami episode i watched last week, the one where the Cuban brother shot his sister because he wanted the American Coast Guards to pick her up (the brother assumed that because she was wounded, they wouldn't care if she was an illegal alien, they'd still take her in and bring her to the hospital). but they were unfortunate because the boat didn't see them floating on water with one lifesaver. so the sister died even if she was only shot on the leg. the brother was able to swim to shore (because he's physically stronger) and he felt awful for thinking that a gunshot would save his sister's life. so anyway... Ina kept interrupting. "ano 'to? yung may treasure sa sea?". then i go, "ano ba! patapusin mo ko!" then i go ahead with my telling the story. then she interrupts again: "ahh! eto yung may shark?>". SHARK KA DIYAN! HAHAHA! let me FINISH! i told her. but laugh trip. i laughed till my sides hurt and my eyes got watery. she could write her own C.S.I. Miami episode with her twisted mind (hehe, joke lang).

but seriously, it was fun. relaxing on the not-so comfortable couch at Gloria Jean's was chillaxing at its finest. if i weren't too worried of rush hour traffic, we would have stayed longer.

while coffee shops are thought to be of breeding ground for "elitists" and "conyo" people, i dismiss the fact because i personally believe that it is a breeding ground of interesting conversations of various interests-- whether intellectually stimulated or not. why do i go there despite my endless complaints of paying a ridiculous amount for a cup of coffee? because you can't beat coffee from coffee shops. really. be it from Dunkin Donuts or Go Nuts Donuts or anywhere else. i don't know. where do they get their coffee beans anyhow? why isn't it available at supermarkets? plus, i don't think people go there for the coffee alone. coffee shops (not all, though) have an ambience that attract people to hang out there (the lighting, the music, the couches-- that is, if you're lucky enough to grab one). you know the feeling of just wanting to get out of the house but at the same time you don't want to get tired by walking and walking? people turn to coffee shops for that because they get to relax, bond with friends, and get their caffeine or sugar (or both) fix. intimate, shallow, and intellectual conversations are present inside coffee shops all the time. while i may still not understand why i continue to crave for coffee despite the huge dent in my wallet, i know that most of the best conversations in my life happened in a coffee shop whether it's just House Blend, Tazza (that car wash slash coffee shop in Banawe in Quezon City), Starbucks, or Gloria Jean's.

anyway...

i made three trips to National Bookstore today. first was when i got the The Constitution of the Republic of the Philippines and Local Government Code of 1991. second was after finishing up with the papers at school when i realized that i forgot to buy a map of Metro Manila (for homework). third was when i waited for Ina. i had to kill time going through the shelves and shelves of books. i got The Little Prince because it's about time i read it. by my third trip to the cashier, the lady was looking at me with a funny look. i guess she might have thought i was weird for going there three times with hours of time intervals.

the pseudo-website is back

so i decided to put this up again because i like mess-up.org and being hosted is such a waste if i keep ignoring the space mess-up.org gave me. so to people who have me linked, please edit my URL on your lists to gail.mess-up.org okay? thanks!

first, HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY to my fellow Filipinos! i can't be any prouder to be Filipino. really. we may not have a prosperous economy, life in the country may not be a breath of fresh air, or we may not be experiencing the promised "comfort" our past (and present) presidents promised us but we're still happy people (hey! we have statistics to prove that!).

i salute my kababayans abroad too, for sacrificing so much just to work and earn a living to feed their families. i don't care if foreigners make look down on Filipinos being domestic workers, health care workers, or ordinary company employees abroad. what they do for a living is dignified and without the Filipino workforce, their companies will crumble! i salute the manongs and manangs that i see everyday along with other vendors who work under the scorching heat of the sun too. there are so many more to mention... basta! hands down to ALL FILIPINOS!

my wish for the Philippines is to surpass all the misery that She is buried in right now-- corruption, crime, economic crisis, and the still unattained peace between Muslim Filipinos and Christian Filipinos.

this evening while my family and i went driving, we reached Roxas Boulevard and what luck! we were just in time for the fire works display. but i would have been happier if i knew within my heart that we were really "INDEPENDENT" already. but i believe otherwise.

i don't believe that we've been "independent" since we were declared free. we still have invisible chains attached to us. i long for that day when we can say that we are truely free. we may be called illusionists if we try to dream that for our country but i'm sure it's going to be worth the try.

mabuhay ka, Pilipinas!

of hobbies and more

just last week, apple texted me during her Indayog (UPM's dance varsity) meeting. they'll have part 2 of Sayaw Manila (a dance concert) and this time, the theme is going to be "movies". i was excited when she asked if i could present designs for the posters. i went to work right away and an hour later i got this printed on photo paper:

(C)Gail Limcumpao

when i saw her fellow Indayog members last week before meeting up with apple, i showed them the posters. they liked it! i was really happy. but they're going to pick out which one they like best from people who submitted designs. i hope mine gets picked just because! i realized how enthusiastic and happy you are when you're doing what you really like. in my case, it's writing and tinkering with Photoshop like this. i didn't even have to drag myself in front of the computer to conceptualize a design for the poster. it just happened and it didn't even feel like it was something i had to do at all!

remember the cookies i baked yesterday? after they cooled, i had no appetite to eat them. i only had a piece just to taste the recipe but i didn't want to eat it. that happened to me before when i tried cooking. when it was time to eat, i couldn't eat what i just made. now i understand my mother when she doesn't want to eat what she just baked or cooked. but today when i saw the huge container with cookies inside, i took a bite and i loved it! haha! i shouldn't have made the cookies because i might get addicted to it. i told my mother i could sell the cookies just so people have something to nibble on when they feel like craving for cookies. i'm not business minded, mind you. i think it's cool if i learned things on entrepreneurship because who knows? it might help in the future! plus, my mother is very famous for her baked goodies and cooking. i want to inherit her skills because she seem to make baking and cooking really easy! i didn't know handling a mixer could make my arm hurt. that thing is so heavy! plus, there are certain skills in baking that should be followed meticulously because baking is no joke.

but like any beginner, i have my funny story. this guy friend of mine (lets call him Mikey) asked me to help him out. he was running out of ideas to impress the girl he really likes so he asked me to ask my mom how to make brownies. the next weekend, we were already in the kitchen. i misread my mother's instructions. instead of putting 1/3 cup of cooking oil, i put 1 and 1/3 cups of it! in baking, you use certain cups that has measurements right? yes, i used the "1 cup" and then another "1/3 cup" instead of just "1/3 cup". so imagine what happened to the brownies! they would have been perfect but... it was WAY TOO MOIST that when you squeeze a piece, oil will drip from it! HAHAHA! man, that was so embarassing and i thought i was helping my poor friend. i don't know what happened if he gave the brownies or not. but one thing's for sure... I was so sorry for the poor guy! HAHAHA! well, we were supposed to make blueberry cheesecake in the first place but it would cost us roughly 800 pesos for just one whole cheesecake.

i'm hoping to learn more!!! but baking lessons from professionals (even for amateur learners) cost too much but once i'm done with school, i'll have time in my hands. i'll learn then!

my hobbies are costly especially if i want to take it one step further. examples? photography classes, web design/graphic design courses, and cooking lessons! then of course i'll want to take my hobbies seriously... i'll have to get a better digital camera, etc. BUT I DON'T HAVE THE FUNDS TO DO THAT! maybe when i'm already earning. until then... i'll read up on the hobbies and maybe it just might help.

let the sunshine in

horrible, horrible morning! i stayed up until 2am typing and trying to understand my paper and i did not even procrastinate! it just took me that long to finish it. then this morning my father offered me a ride to school but if i took the offer, i was going to be at school as early as 7am in the morning and class wasn't until 8.30am. so i passed and decided to take the FX instead. so i left the house at 7am confident that i had 30 minutes allowance to make sure i won't be late (my resolution, remember?). you see, travel time from my house to school is an hour. the ride was smooth until we got to Quiapo! wow! it stopped moving because the traffic jam was horrible! when the vehicle got to Jones Bridge, it felt like the bridge stretched to forever! i was agitated because there was only fifteen minutes to go before the clock hit 8.30am. by this time i knew i wasn't going to make it! so i wanted to cry because i was scared of Prof. Talampas. you know how long it took me to finally get to school from Quiapo? more than an hour! imagine that! it usually takes me just fifteen minutes from there (i can even get there in ten minutes!) so imagine the torture while i prayed and prayed for a miracle that i wouldn't get in trouble for my tardiness. plus, who would ever believe me if i told them that it took me more than an hour from Quiapo to school? two hours later since i left home, i got to school. i decided to walk from UN avenue because i was getting nowhere and i was pretty desperate to get to class.

what added to my worries was the fact that when i reread the paper i wrote, there were typographical errors (you see, i was already very sleepy to check the printed paper). bummer.

huffing and puffing, i got to the third floor nearly in tears. i looked into the room (the door has a glass window) and saw my blockmates listening intently to Prof. Talampas. i planned on not going to class anymore since i only had 30 minutes before it got dismissed. but krizia saw me and signaled that i go inside. i gathered all my courage and opened the door. time stopped. Prof. Talampas looked at me. then to his watch. oh shit. i'm in BIG trouble. then i spoke. "pwede pa po ba ako pumasok?" (can i still come in?) i said this with a quavering voice and mind you, this time i was really losing it. i was going to cryyy! i explained how horrible traffic was and that i left really early but still got stuck in traffic in my shakey voice. then he smiled. yes! HE SMILED!!! "ako din na-traffic eh! naglakad ako galing Manila City Hall, akala mo ba?" (i got stuck in traffic too! i walked from the Manila City Hall). i broke into a smile and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. phew! he was nice afterall! plus, he knew it was traffic because he came from Diliman and he got stuck too! plus, when i got in.. HE JUST ARRIVED! YESSSS! so i made my way to a seat and the world was a happy place again.

also, the professor said we could email our papers within the day. he didn't even ask for them! phew!

GOD heard my prayers when i asked for a miracle. seriously!

lessons for the day:

1. it pays to watch tv before leaving the house in the morning for traffic jam updates. why? because it was on tv this morning that there was going to be a traffic jam on the way to the Supreme Court because they were celebrating a fiesta there and it's a pretty big celebration with a parade and all. who told me? mitchie did! she saw it on tv before she left home!

2. GOD hears our prayers and works wonders!

3. when your father offers you a ride to school, accept it! who cares even if you're going to be more than an hour early? at least you're safe from traffic jams!

* * *

my mother and i baked cookies today! we made chocolate chip with oats but really, it should be called oatmeal cookies with chocolate chip since there's more oats in the batter than chocolate chips! it's so good! and what made it better? i made it! my mother just guided me! yey! HAHA! if we're friends and you're good to me, i'll let you taste! hehehe!

where's my stress ball when i need it the most?

i usually love cozy rainy days. it's cloudy outside and it looks like it's going to rain again but instead of feeling cozy and mellow about it, i'm feeling rather melancholic. the music that i am listening to isn't helping either. sometimes i wish i had the power to cry buckets just so i could take the heaviness off my chest. everything's fine in my life except that senior year is taking its toll on me that i want to cry sometimes.

plus, the fact that i got the GRADUATE SECTION for my thesis proposal class isn't helping either because i have to fill up the Change of Matriculation form to cancel that. no thanks to the guy who printed my Form 5 out. thanks to him i'm uneasy right now because i still have to enroll myself to the section where i belong to.. MY BLOCK'S! at Prof. Betan's class! the one for Area Studies and NOT FOR GRADUATE SCHOOL! now i have to get the form signed by Prof. Betan himself so he'll allow me in his class (which i'm sure he'll accept me)... it's just the deadline that i'm worried about because i won't be seeing Prof. Betan until Tuesday! the deadline!!!

i want to cry right now. STRESS, MAN! plus the pressure of wanting to graduate on time is weighing my spirits down. please, let me cry! i need to let this all out!!! my stress ball! where's my stress ball?! oh yeah. i forgot it at Cavite and i am yet to get it from apple. *pulls hair*

it's all up to You, i pray for You to make me stop worrying and help me be reminded that things will work themselves out just fine.

have you been to Post Secret? it's a very cool project/blog. if i would send a post card, i'd write this on it:

i have always believed in myself
but when i think about how many people there are in the world,
how many better people there are than i am,
and how many of them want the same thing as i-- aspiring to be someone BIG,
i begin to feel really... small.

only now, it isn't a secret anymore isn't it?
______________________

so Neil Gaiman is REALLY coming to town!

read all about the promos, contests, and book signing requirements HERE!. coolness! i want to go! i want to go! i already have one book but that won't count since i didn't buy it from Fully Booked. i want to get Neverwhere and Coraline anyhow! YEYYY!

Hello, I am Gail Monique L. Limcumpao.

So you're here because you decided that I'm interesting afterall.

Kidding aside, I created this sort of biography because I feel like writing tonight. And yes, as narcisstic as it may sound, I feel like writing about my life.

I was born in Manila on August 6, 1985. I moved to Myanmar (formerly known as "Burma") when I was three and lived there for eight years. For a time, Burmese and English were my first languages while Tagalog came next. I spent my wonderful childhood years in Yangon and I think I can say that they were the best years of my life. I went to the Diplomatic School Yangon and that was where I met people of different races. It was like an international school and being exposed to different cultures was awesome. There were various intercultural activities where I actively joined like the Japanese School Yangon's Harmony and Frienship Day, which happened annually. There were international bazaars among the diplomatic community in Yangon too and those were the days that I look forward to because of the bake sales, games for kids, and raffles. Living in Myanmar enabled me to see the rest of what the country had to offer especially when my family and I went on a weeklong road trip to various Burmese states. We also traveled outside of Myanmar in those eight glorious years in The Land of Pagodas. Thailand was our favorite destination as it was just nearby.

In 1998, my father's post in Myanmar ended and we all moved back to Manila, Philippines. We lived in Manila for another two more years until we left for Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates for my father's next post. I spent high school there until my junior year and again, the three years in the sunny side Emirates were equally glorious than those years in Myanmar. The UAE was like a melting pot of different nationalities. It was the breeding ground of expats especially Filipinos. My school was called the Pioneers International Private School but mostly Filipinos go there especially the children of expats. It was so much fun growing up in a safe environment. Prior to moving to Abu Dhabi, I thought it was going to be all desert but alas, my ignorance was wrong. It happened to be highly developed city and it is a shopper's haven.

I came back to Manila to finish the rest of high school and to prepare for college entrance exams. I got into the University of the Philippines and studied Social Science. It was the best decision in my life, going into the University of the Philippines Manila. I spent my most meaningful lessons-filled collegiate life there and I believe it was here when I started to mature and grow. UPM introduced me to the world and prepared me to become a tough person no matter how much lemons the world will throw at me. I believe I got my confidence here too. The best teachers I've met, I met here at UPM because they are brilliant-- never selfish to keep their wisdom and knowledge to themselves. I look up to teachers who have made great impacts in my life as HEROES. They say that to become a smart person you need to surround yourself with even SMARTER people than you are. I believe I've become smarter not only because of my brilliant teachers but because of my brilliant blockmates who taught me so much in college.

I am now living life after college. I am still undergoing quarter life crisis. I don't know where my career will take me nor am I sure about having a career, to begin with. I'm still testing what the world has for me out there. I'm not in a hurry to accomplish things because I've learned to slow down and take one day at a time. I believe that things happen at their own time and pace. I am in no hurry to rush my life because I am still young-- there are still so many things to do, places to see, and people to meet. I love life and I'm embracing it wholeheartedly. This blog is a witness to it.

So yeah, that pretty much sums up part of my life.

of movies and new school year resolutions

i'm dizzy right now (as always) but i really want to make a review of some sort since i've been watching a lot of movies lately:

madagascar it is hilarious and shorter than other pixar animations. i likeit that way since if it had been any longer, it would have been boring. after getting a dog, i feel more compassionate towards animals. how could you not like them? they're adorable! okay, okay. maybe lions and cheetahs and boisterous monkeys aren't adorable but really, who knows?

shutter i watched it with apple yesterday. we were supposed to head off to glorietta to meet up with richard, raul, and company. first van was absent. then ais wasn't able to make it. so it was just apple and i. but we opted to watch at rob ermita instead of going all the way to makati because she had dance practice.

the guy who starred in the movie is SIZZLING HOT. apple and i have this big fat crush on him! the movie is pretty good too considering that apple and accidentally bumped into each other head-on while screaming during scary scenes. there were also funny scenes and an accidental comedy part. what am i talking about? watch it nalang.

mr. and mrs. smith did i tell you that i am a frustrated Sidney Bristow wanna be? not just because i love Michael Vartan to pieces but also because i want to be as independent as she is. she can kick ass without relying on a man to protect her... i just think that's so awesome to be able to fight bad elements (hehe) like that.

the movie is predictable, of course but the kick-ass scenes made up for that fact and a few comedy scenes. i personally think brad pitt and angelina jolie look good together. angelina looked awesome with guns and she carried the role of an assasin well just like she did in Tomb Raider (the role of a woman with guns, that is).

*

i'm required to watch Sin City for my Urban Issues in the Philippines (?) class due on friday, i think. i can't wait. i hope i like it!

then there's coach carter. i've heard very good reviews about it... how it's really inspiring and all that. i have to catch it before it stops showing in the cinemas. damn. watching movies is causing a huge dent in my wallet but the fun part of it is that movies are way better when seen in the theaters.

time to get organized for school. my mother gave me her Louis Vuitton planner/organizer. it's a small one. i'm not really a brand/label type of person. anything goes and whatever i can use, i'll use. heck, the messenger bag that i use these days costed me just a few hundreds and i use it every single day. but the organizer my mom gave me is just adorable (who doesn't like pretty things?). i just might use it in case my old one (a faux leather organizer my uncle gave me for my 17th birthday) is too heavy/large for my book bag.

i need a change in attitude too because i woke up this morning with a heavy feeling on my chest:

1. need to get rid of my ability to procrastinate a lot
2. DO NOT MISS ANY CLASS!!!
3. DO NOT BE LATE!
4. DO NOT BE LAZY
5. WORK HARD. WORK HARD. WORK HARD.
6. PLAY AFTER THIS SCHOOL YEAR IS OVER!!!

i can't say that things might work out according to my will but through HIS guidance, they just might or whatever HE thinks is best for me, i will just follow.

i found this written by my own hand writing copied from somewhere (i'm sorry, i forgot):

if you become bitter over your hardships, you close some parts of your life from God. if you do this, you will never be complete. some places in your soul can be reached only by suffering. the spirit of God has important things to teach you, but you can only learn these lessons in the midst of your trials. don't resent the suffering God allows in your life. don't make all your decisions and invest everything you have into avoiding hardships.

LEARN OBEDIENCE WHEN IT HURTS!

credit goes to the person who wrote this or wherever i copied it from. again, i'm sorry. i forgot. this must've been written on my organizer a long time ago.

this school year is all for YOU. guide me, please. help me be strong.

thoughts of a senior

i demand an explanation from the UP admin (both from diliman and manila) why our classes have to start tomorrow. yes, tomorrow. a week ahead of all the other schools who went into their summer vacation TWO WEEKS before us! it's so unfair! i mourn for the death of summer. i can't even call my short vacation a "summer vacation" because i had so little time to go on out of town trips and actually go out and hang out with long lost friends. heck, i haven't even seen my high school friends yet! but as always, i do not have power to stop time although i woke up this morning with a heavy heart wanting to concoct a solution to my problem-- stop time and make tomorrow not come until two months or more.

so it's senior year. what can i expect? sometimes always, i have that inkling to crawl back to high school where i definitely belong. but wait. didn't i spend sleepless nights preparing for four exams in one day during exam week? call me a nerd but i did enjoy studying for exams because i knew i'd do well. then there was volleyball. i loved volleyball so much that sometimes i'd dream of it. i was called "bionic" in high school because i have a strong arm. sometimes too strong that it would go right out of the court. i loved tournaments too when my school's team and i would plan games to kick rival schools' asses. i miss hanging out with my classmates every friday where we'd either watch movies or go to the beach. i miss our free time when our teachers would not come to class. the girls and i would sneak out and buy Nesquick popsicles in the little store we call the "cafeteria". there was a promo before and we'd squeal in delight when we see a "free Nesquick popsicle" text printed on the popsicle stick. little things made us happy and we were happy in our small nutshell called "school" back in sunny side Emirates.

in senior year, i had to move back. i felt uneasy in my new school. everyone was accomodating but i still did not feel at home, save for some friends with whom i thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with. the writing stints made me happy too like the journalism congress and the district press conference where Ina and i were partners in crime. we'd always bag first or second place HAHA! and those two always interchange like she'd be first and i'd be second. another time i'd be first and she'd be second. then there was the speech olympics! this was a memorable experience for me because i had no experience in extemporaneous speech but my speech teacher insisted that i joined. i prepared a long speech and it was organized and all. i memorized it for half a day and when my turn finally came to render it to the judges during the elimination round... my mind went TOTALLY BLANK. everything was a blur from there but i do remember my brain thinking so fast and then my mouth took over. i ranted and ranted thinking of the things i read in the paper and watched from the news. when i saw my speech teacher outside the room, i hugged and cried her after and i kept apologizing how i screwed up. hours later... guess what? I WON FIRST PLACE! HAHAHA! but that was during the semi-finals. when the finals came... the stars weren't on my side. but still... the experience was something else!

college is a different story. you'll never know your fate until that terror of a thin notebook they call the "blue book" where exams are written and on judgement day, scores are scribbled in bloody red ink. that always gives me a heart attack especially if my scores are not what i expected them to be. then there are nights when i'd give up sleep and answer exams like a zombie. sometimes my efforts are fruitful and sometimes not. but i've learned that i can't always win. reality slapped that on my face and it's all good because i've grown, you know. i've learned so many things from the past years in college and i'm still enthusiastic to learn more.

i can't believe that it has been three years since that freshman orientation day. i was wide-eyed, enthusiastic, nauseous, and giddy. i met my college friends during my first day. i laughed with them, i hanged out with them, i shared stories with them in freshman year like we've been together since high school. time flies by so fast that it scares me. i don't know whether to be happy about how fast time flies or be sad about it because soon i will look back on these days and miss my being young.

one thing's for sure... SEIZE THE DAY, incoming freshies! while it's good to concentrate on studies... don't forget to have fun too. kick back and relax once in a while and don't be scared when you fall flat on your face. you can't always win (like my dad said...) and take it as a chance for self-improvement.

as for me, i hope one day i will look back on college life with a smile on my face and be proud of what i went through. i hope one day i will realize that everything was worth it afterall and i can be thankful for everything. i hope you will be too!

so okay. i'll go on ahead to school tomorrow... i'll swallow reality because i have no choice. this school year might pass as swiftly as the past years went and it might not be too bad afterall.

come on, this will be fun

okay, now you can post anonymously for the sort-of game down below this part. i turned anonymous posting on. so...join!

random pictures of stuff in the living room because i really want to take pictures and when you're stuck at home... you have no choice but to look for pretty things to take pictures of.


the Chinese dolls, colorful candles, green things, marble eggs, jade elephants, and oriental pots.



i'm bored so i borrowed this from someone's LJ :)

REPLY ANONYMOUSLY/OR WHATEVER. I DON'T CARE.
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One love note.
4. Lyrics to a song.
5. How old you are.
6. How long we've been friends.
7. And a hint to who you are.

rain rain go away

my apple juice fix. finally! i was looking for Tree Top apple juice but they didn't have that. this will do. the only thing that turns me off is the fact that Snapple Apple is RED. RED APPLE JUICE. ayayay. it's supposed to be "made from the best stuff on earth" but how come my apple juice is red? hello, chemicals. enter my system for the satisfaction of apple flavored juice.

did you know that Somewhere Only We Know sounds better while it's raining?

it's raining...
it's pouring...
i want to sleep.



obviously i'm bored. bye.

Bamboo: Light, Peace, Love album launch

wowww! i just came home from the Bamboo album launch at megamall (megastrip B). it was awesome! never mind the fact that we had to squish our way into the crowd to get the best view of the stage. never mind we had to line up to get cds of the new album before that. never mind that the rockers in front of us kept dancing like crazy monkeys not minding people around them. never mind we ran out of posters of Bamboo! never mind we sweated like crazy during the mini concert. never mind we spent 300 pesos to get in. never mind my legs that hurt so bad after the concert. never mind my throat was so dry after everything. never mind the fact that we ran out of t-shirts that says "Light, Peace, Love" then "Bamboo" at the back. damn. damn. damn.

the launch was awesome! Hale and Sugarfree were guests. first Hale took the stage and they made the crowd go wild. i've heard good feedbacks on their first album and i'm going to grab a copy as soon as i get my allowance (you see, i'm flat broke now). then Sugarfree came up. the crowd went wild again. yey! i had to sing along to Mariposa because it's a stellar song. then finally Bamboo!!! they were late for a couple of minutes but it was worth the wait! awesome awesome concert! they sang all the songs in the new album (10 tracks) then three of their old songs from the first album: These Days, Masaya, and Noypi (the national anthem of Filipinos hehe).

it's way different when you hear bands play live. i don't know... it makes you high and you appreciate listening to the cd more. especially listening to patriotic songs like "Hallelujia" and "Noypi". makes you proud that you're Filipino. that's what makes me love Bamboo more! they're nationalistic that way.

van left her cd in my bag. wahhh! :'( i can imagine the torture! she told me during the concert that she couldn't wait to listen to the cd at home!

i'm tired! have to hit the sack now. good night, world.

things i will remember about the batangas road trip

i ♥ these guys, plus Van (who took the picture) of course!

1. inuman session the night before we left cavite. four shots. was red all over. again.
2. apple being drunk-- cried while saying, "naawa ako kay mr.___________. wala kasi siyang kaibigan! lahat natatakot sa kanya! pag yaman ko.. bibilan ko siya ng bagong kotse!" as she sobbed... referring to the assistant dean (?) at NDCP in camp aguinaldo.
3. me being tipsy (or was i drunk?)... cried because raul's dog has NO NAME! that just made me really sad!!!
4. the 10 hour road trip, of course!
5. lunch at yellow cab, tagaytay. awesome view!
6. passing by at leat 8 processions in each of the batangas towns we passed!
7. passing by four funeral marches! (i know! creepy!!!) i thought it was a premonition of some sort.
8. asking directions in every town we passed! i think we toured the WHOLE of batangas because we didn't know the way to San Juan.
9. listening to Don Moen songs when we got to Lemery, Batangas.
10. going through a very ROCKY ROAD a 24 kilometers away from the resort at night. "ano ba 'to? bangin na yata 'to eh! AHHHHHH!!!!" HAHA! richard being scared while going uphill. take note: the rocky road has no lamp posts. it was very dark!
11. finally getting to the beach resort 10 hours later! *dizzy*
12. eating fried chicken like hungry dogs HAHA! :P so what? we were starving!
13. videoke!!! :) of course, i had to sing "Crazy for You"!
14. racking my wallet for more 5 peso coins.
15. inuman session again with everyone. after two shots, i stopped because i couldn't breathe again. damn allergies.
16. watched the others and listened to kwentuhan. fun times!
17. swimming in the dark at the beach after they finished drinking.
18. lying on the cold sand at the seashore to watch the blanket of stars. it was priceless.
19. aeson and raul pulling me to the sea. aeson chased me and i got really tired running away HAHAHA! :P loser.
20. walked to the La Luz beach. bon fire. until we were told we were not supposed to set up a bon fire there. pfft.
21. richard swimming in his underwear! HAHA! laugh trip!
22. going to sleep when the sun was rising.
23. waking up with a stiff neck. ack.
24. swimming again under the sun, this time.
25. sound trip and listening to the other group's trip over videoke. they were funneh.
26. the girls and a gay pa-cute because they kept looking at richard and jay. HAHA!
27. going back to cavite. it rained the whole trip!
28. took us only 4 hours to tagaytay because we now know the shorter way. phew!
29. side trip to Tagaytay again. dinner at mushroom burger. taray waitress. wanted to scream at her.
30. jay and aeson was soaking wet because they took jay's motorbike all the way from cavite to san juan, batangas!!!
31. tambay at Bene's place back in cavite. kwentuhan. sound trip. it was fun although we were already VERY tired!
32. overnight at raul's place, dreaming that someone was calling my name. it was richard asking us to wake up already. HAHAHA.

i feel infinitely high just like how i always feel after a few days of vacation. especially with great friends because they maket the best company.