Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween, everyone! So how did I celebrate Halloween? Well, I sat in front of the laptop and made a new layout. Muhahaha! :P

nevermind if it's dusty! give the poor little guy a break. :P

My skin is so dry because I use Johnson's Baby Milk Lotion. I love the smell but it does nothing for my skin. I have chicken skin now. No wait, maybe scaley fish skin. Eck. So I'm back to Jergens because it does better than baby lotion but I still like the milk lotion's smell!

I'm hungry and my eyes hurt. (-.-)!!

Yesterday Alej and I ate at Mr. Kebab. I love it there. It's officially one of my favorite restaurants. I hate the fact that you have to get in line before grabbing a seat, though. Really! That's how fully packed the place is. Food is cheap and very yummy-- that's why it's fully packed all the time. Yes, even during weekdays! Yesterday was my 5th time there and I keep ordering the same thing- Keema. It's their best seller and it's soooo good. Shawarma is also good- both plated and sandwich. I want to bring friends there. Anyone interested? Maybe I can bring my friends there the next time we have one of our lunch/dinner get-together.

Another cheap thrill is the new place we discovered (by the help of my sister and her boyfriend) somewhere in Banawe. It's called Everything at Steak. Again, good food for a good price! A plate of large slab of t-bone steak is just Php120! You can choose from two scoops of mashed potatoes or one cup of rice. Their menu is like that of Tender Bob's so if you like it there, you'll definitely love Everything at Steak.

Talking about food made me even more hungry. Gotta go! Tito Jon and Tito Lynn are here. Oh dear, they brought a stack of styro with Pao Tsin stuff inside! We're like refugees being fed by the government! Well, yeah. That's what happens when the mother is away. Teehee. Thanks titos!

Breathing Space-- A Resurrection

Remember Breathing Space? That blog for all my literary writings of sorts? It's over here now:

Sulat.

note:

• observe the categories. if it says fiction, there's no need to believe that all of what i write pertains to me or my life.


• posts are still not filed under their respective categories because it's still new.


• old entries were imported into Wordpress from Blogger.

splat

I'm home. I didn't sleep last night AT ALL. I had breakfast with Pao and Apple at Jollibee around 7am this morning because we got back to the city that early. We ate and relaxed for an hour before Alej picked me up to take me home. Fell asleep in the car--as in SLEEP. Got home and took another nap. Lunch. Nap. Then Alej had to leave. I'm going to sleep again because all in all I must have just about three hours of sleep.

Contrary to my previous blog, I did get tipsy last night but without the scary palpitations and heavy breathing-- maybe the heavens did want me to get drunk (I'm kidding). I brought my old Nikon digicam with me but didn't take that much photos with it. Bea and Pao have tons and they will justify how much fun we had. Phooey, though. Bea had to leave at 11ish.

Time to go. My bed is calling me. Yesterday was, by far, the longest day I've had in years.

Splat. My brain is like that-- SABAW.

i'm going to Calamba later this afternoon for a teambuilding. if you know better, you'd know that the "teambuilding" is actually a drinking/karaoke fest with equally crazy people as i am. there will be night swimming too and catching up with my favorite people.

isn't it great? this is also one of those times when i badly want my body to tolerate more alcohol than it can take because i'm allergic and i can feel my heart giving out whenever i drink too much (i have a heart problem). so i've never been drunk in my entire twenty-one years of life. how sad. or maybe i did get drunk that one time my cousins came over and regardless of how my mother and my aunt stopped me from drinking more (under their supervision) with my cousins, i still went ahead. that was the only time when i realized that i should have listened to my mother because i felt like my heart was going to burst an hour later. it was beating so hard like crazy and i couldn't breathe. i just threw myself to the couch like a piece of meat being tossed to a lion's mouth. i closed my eyes until my heart calmed down but it never happened. i attempted to climb up the stairs but found myself crawling until my cousin helped me out. phooey. i vowed never to go that far again unless there's an emergency room nearby.

so when my parents say "don't drink too much!", they don't really have to worry because i already scared myself silly. try as i might to drink a lot i can never go ahead with it because my heart scares me and the embarassing redness of my face, neck, and well, the whole body is just mortifying.

another song that spoke my heart

On the way to the airport, i heard this song on the radio. I love it-- both the lyrics and the melody to it. Songs like these give me goosebumps, the types that speak your mind (like Fallen by Sarah Maclachlan and Written by Natasha Beddingfield). It's a Nelly Furtado song. The last song by her that I liked was Try.

Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die

Honestly what will become of me
I don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
We missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

Traveling I always stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day until the feeling went away
And the clouds were dropping and the...
The rain forgot how to bring salvation
The dogs were whistling a new tune barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die
Why Do All Things Come to an End, Nelly Furtado

this way out.

this way out.
Originally uploaded by shutterbug-gail.

This city's made us crazy and we must get out.
-Maroon 5, Must Get Out

flowers with dewdrops in the morning

flowers with dewdrops in the morning
Originally uploaded by shutterbug-gail.

this morning i woke up and went outside. the flowers were pretty and i love how the dew drops settle on the leaves and petals of the flaura and fauna outside. simply breathtaking.

this is just one of the reasons why i want to wake up in the morning instead of noon, which usually is the case. (and i'm not too proud nor happy about it).

Can you please come out to play?

Hello, reader!
I want to know things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously a reader, so let me know with whom I am friends! (Post in comments)


Tell me:
1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:



HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of Live Journal?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
17. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

the story of funerals and wakes from the unaborted child

i thought i knew everything about myself already and then another surprise came along.

last thursday i went to the wake of the wife of my father's officemate at Loyola. she died of ovarian cancer-- may God rest her soul.

i hate going to funerals and wakes. it's creepy and it makes me really sad whenever i am faced with the reality of how short life could be. Bea said i have a dark side and i used to think that i wasn't afraid of Death because it happens to everyone. to me too, eventually. but last thursday was different. i realized that i don't like it. i didn't want to go to the wake because i was dead scared and the smell of the room at wakes-- all those flowers and the stiff air just makes me want to run out of the chapel. but the other day i had no choice. "i'm wearing pink!", i reasoned to my father (we didn't plan on going that day but we did). i thought it was also rude to go to a wake in bright colors because you're supposed to be grieving. my father didn't take my half-excuse and insisted that i went with them inside. so there i was in the freezing chapel and we were entertained by the brother of the deceased who animatedly told stories of her sister, among others. the children of the woman who died were very hospitable too and it was a relief that there wasn't stiff air afterall. just very cold temperature that made my teeth chatter. i had a hard time clenching my teeth from chattering and i grabbed my mother's shoulder for me to hug the whole time.

this officemate of his was assigned to Japan too and his children even finished college there. so when my father talked about the time he and my mother lived in Kobe and that my sister was born there, they went into talking about the medical practice during that time. apparently, it wasn't too good. my mother gave birth to my sister by C-section without anesthesia. she said she could even wiggle her toes and feel the doctor slicing her stomach! and then my mother talked about the time when she was pregnant with me. she and my father went to a check-up and because during that time there was a law imposing the ban against bearing children less than two years apart, the doctor thought they would undergo abortion. my parents were surprised, of course. the doctor was already ready to inject. good thing my father knew Japanese then so he said he'd take my mother back to Manila because there was no way they were going to get an abortion.

so yeah, i was surprised. like OH-SHIT-I-WAS-GOING-BE-ABORTED kind of surprised. that was some story, alright. i'm already twenty-one and i didn't know that i came so close to not being here.

when we left the chapel i thought it wasn't so bad afterall. but i didn't look inside the coffin nor did i go anywhere near it. i just sat there and paid my respects. i'm sorry, i haven't gathered that much courage yet. i thought i was tough but i'm not. death still scares me. but i'm glad she's resting now because apparently, the 6 months she went through was exhausting mentally, emotionally, and physically-- something no one should go through on the way to Heaven.

pros and cons of being a cybergeek

my father believes that the best word that could be associated with me is "computer". i would have thought it would be something deep like "introspective" or "philosophical" or something out of this world which would send my ego sky rocketting up to the air. but no. just a plain word. "computer". and i think my father has developed a certain fondness for the Nokia N93 (i must say, the commercial is a work of a genius having Gary Oldman endorse the phone) because he offered to get me one next year. then he took it back and said that a Macbook would probably be more suitable for me because again, i am his youngest child who spends a lot of time in front of the computer all day.


this word association of his has a basis, you know. can't say i can blame him for thinking that word. i can spend hours in front of the computer just surfing, typing, downloading, or watching ridiculous videos on YouTube. i can browse photos on Flickr or artworks at Deviantart the whole day and not get bored. you see where i'm getting at? i'd like to believe that i'm not the only one who does this because well, fellow geeks lurk in cyberspace. my family has to know that so that they won't think i am the little member of the family who has no life. and then there's my enthusiasm whenever people ask help for their templates or anything related to blogging. i rant on and on, click here click there and voila. i'm a happy tutor.

my parents asked me last night where i got to learn about Photoshop and blogging and everything else i've learned over the internet. i told them that i read a lot and the first time we got an internet connection i was instantly interested in design, photoshopping, and photography. my mother proudly declared, "it's a gift". haha! i wish i could say that it is. i think learning doesn't take effort when you're already interested in learning in the first place. and it amazes me that they are already amazed with how much the internet could teach a geek when what i know so far doesn't even equal half as much as what other talented real web designers do.

the internet is a dangerous place to be in but i think i'm old enough to handle lurking in this dangerous borderless digital world. what you see or read from the internet can quickly infiltrate a person and affect his/her ideals or views. it is a dangerous influence that if not handled properly, could probably break you. i wouldn't want my children to be like me when they're younger than 16. there are so many cyber criminals lurking around in Friendster, MySpace, and other chatrooms and because there is no regulation on cyberspace or laws that govern cyber crimes (unless you live in China where internet police exists...), cyber crimes are committed everyday single day. there are no days when i'm not paranoid about who reads my blog, who browses my Friendster profile, so on and so forth. i guess it's all a matter of taking care of what information you give out to the public.

yeah, well. being a cybergeek is both good and bad. the good includes having easy access to information. for me, i made Google News my homepage and personalized it according to my topics of interest. Of course, there's the Breaking News, the Business section, and Global Economy. these news topics are filtered according to my preference so that what's hot in these areas are delievered to me fresh each time i log onto the internet. it's both good and bad. bad in such a way that i get bad news delivered to me the minute they happen and like i always say, it's depressing to be in-the-know about current events. you'd notice how much these news are more on the "bad" than on the "good". and then there's gaining access to government agencies' websites and reading their annual reports (i got interested in this because of Prof Ponsaran). the internet can also foster a person's interests like what photography did to me. browsing at such breathtaking photos in Flickr inspired me to take photos of my surroundings myself. the world is beautiful, Philippines is beautiful and it is such a waste not showing it off to people.

my most favorite activity in cyberspace is *drum rolls please* BLOGGING! d-u-h. i bet that wasn't too hard to guess. but like Tito Jon said, blogging was created probably for people with star complex. it was a joke, of course. but i remember some anal columnist from Philstar's Young Star section writing about bloggers and blogging. he said he doesn't get the idea of blogging and bashed the whole act of blogging itself that made my blood boil. but to each his own, right? so let the anal columnist stick his ideas into his mouth and get away with bashing blogging like that because some may not get the act of expressing or writing about one's life on blogs for all the world to read. but you see, it's different from a blogger's point of view. blogging is like therapy for others-- especially for me, a person who is highly opinionated. while i may be talkative, my brain is the same too. it's er, "thinkative". so yeah, this blog is the output for that.


so yeah. cyberspace is a whole new world with countless websites to explore and countless things to do. while the cyberworld may be a happy and shiny place, we cybergeeks must not forget that the original happy shiny place is the real material world that we live in. so a balance of living in both worlds is probably the best way to live and remember to take extra precaution with your activities in cyberspace.

happy surfing! :)

SIDENOTE: dictionary.com's word for today is hypnagogic. i love it already cause i'm always hypnagogic. :)

hypnagogic \hip-nuh-GOJ-ik; -GOH-jik\, adjective:
Of, pertaining to, or occurring in the state of drowsiness preceding sleep.

It is of course precisely in such episodes of mental traveling that writers are known to do good work, sometimes even their best, solving formal problems, getting advice from Beyond, having hypnagogic adventures that with luck can be recovered later on.
-- Thomas Pynchon, "Nearer, My Couch, to Thee", New York Times, June 6, 1993

neat!

some things are better said in black and white

i am crazy over OASIS. i am one very crazy fan girl. if they come to Manila for a concert, i will go to hell and back just to afford front row tickets (here's hoping that i won't eat my words some day so i might as well have an OASIS emergency fund hidden somewhere). but seriously, who doesn't love OASIS? i remember loving them from the very first time i was introduced to the Brit band via Channel [V] way back in Myanmar. so that must be ages ago, right? the song was Stand By Me.

links are from my music page at Multiply:
Don't Look Back in Anger - Oasis
Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis
Champagne Supernova - Oasis
Stand By Me - Oasis

get crafty!

i feel like rushing to the nearest craft/art supply store. i want to buy paint, canvas bags, and brushes because i want to paint my own bag. oh, lets not forget the beads and other supplies to make my own earrings. i remember chezka referring a store in Quiapo where they sell wholesale beads and other earring supplies.

i want to get crafty again. the last time i was crafty was when i got addicted to making earrings, necklaces, and bracelets out of beads. it used to make me cross-eyed after a few hours of stringing beads into that transparent nylon thread but i still enjoyed it nevertheless. and then there was one time when i got addicted to origami after my mother bought me a set from the UNICEF store when i was a little girl. it was a Christmas thing-- to buy cards, mugs, and art kits from the UNICEF store in Yangon. plus, there was a time in fifth and sixth grade when my school had an Industrial Arts class. we sculpted dinosaurs from clay, colored by dots on humongous illustration boards, and painted. those were fun times. in high school i got carried away making a scrapbook of my life-- it was actually a requirement for graduation. Ina and i got so carried away that ours was thickest. but it was fun. really fun.

bleh. time to write an article now. so much for procrastinating.

HELP: where can i buy plain canvas bags, anyway? i also need to know where i can get t-shirts printed-- not the silkscreen kind but the kind where they'd print the graphics i'd design from Adobe Photoshop. no, it's not for a commercial purpose but for myself. i think it would be cool to wear bags and shirts that i created myself.

maybe it's time to also learn how to sew!

my mom's famous brownie recipe for afternoon snack :)

my mom's famous brownie recipe for afternoon snack :)
Originally uploaded by shutterbug-gail.

my cousin anne came over today. we watched tv, surfed the internet, and just played lazy girls in our room. it's sick. HAHA! all we did was eat-- mama's famous brownies, junk food, and a glass of milk for each of us. kind of reminded me the summer Daivy and i became close. she'd come over every single day that summer in high school (back when abu dhabi was still home). we giggled like normal high school girls and called the local radio station just because we thought the British DJ's voice was hot.

my cousin is going to Shanghai next week and asked me to come along. i had to turn the offer down. if i only had 20K with me right now i would've grabbed the offer. free hotel and just plane tickets plus pocket money to take care of. but no i can't go. oh well! there's still next time! :)

and then there's our pending Bohol trip next summer. i won't elaborate further because this trip is exclusively for my cousin anne, ate, and i only and i might jinx it. but i'm excited already! HAHA!

a not-so fruitful weekend. i should shoot myself for being a lazy bum. yes, i will TRY to be productive tomorrow. with that, i end this blog post. HEEH! i'm updating my Flickr more now. wheee!

i love everyday photos. i love street photography and macro shots. street photography in this city is impossible. if you bring out your celphone or digital camera to try and capture shots of the city you will be called ridiculous. it's like saying "hey! look! steal my celphone!". yes, ridiculous, indeed! it's a pity because i want to show-off Manila so badly-- like walk the cobbled steps of Intramuros (The Walled City) again, visit San Agustin Church, and play tourist around old Manila. i now also have a cameraphone that might do justice to the beauty there is in the city minus the air pollution and crime rate. i super want to do this!

damn you, snatchers. look what you're doing to me.

i have a headache-- another fruit of my oversleeping. i was just too tired from yesterday.

my father underwent surgery last week and was confined for a few days. he's back home now although recovery period is going to cover about a month. the operation was for his gall bladder to be removed from the tiny (but several) gall stones. so there. in between staying hours at the hospital accompanying my mother and visiting my father, i also visited angela (alej's siste) who was confined at another hospital. what's with sickness these days? ah, well. take care of your health!

i feel really lazy today. i just want to sleep the whole day but i have stuff to write-- part of the final stretch. at least for now.

i need to be productive this weekend. somebody help me. *groans*

oh, and i'm plugging my godfather's blog and tito jon's as well! they're very new to the blogging scene but very addicted to it. HAHA! love you both! :)

wishful thinking, that's all this is.

if i were to be born again, i'd ask God to make me an artist or a writer living in Tuscany-- doing nothing but paint, write, or take photos. i'd spend each day bathing under the sun or reading a book in an Italian cafe sipping my espresso after a hearty pizza margherita meal. and then i'd stroll by the beach and think about what my next painting, book, or photo exhibit would be. at night in my Tuscan Villa bedroom, i will retire to sweet slumber with a happy/content smile on my face. fans, art enthusiasts, or readers will know about me all over the world and i will be living off the rest of my reborn life traveling around the world. money? they will come from my royalties. :)

storm is over. at least in the Philippines, for now it is.

in my opinion, after that super storm Milenyo (international name: Xangsane) there should be a memorial service or some tribute for the trees it killed/wrecked. people did not only die. we lost a lot of trees too. i went out with Alej the day after the storm and everywhere we passed we saw trees that were uprooted by the strong winds. if not uprooted, the branches were either hanging out of place or were on the ground-- unpicked by whoever was in-charge of cleaning the roads post-typhoon. these livejournal posts from the Peyups LJ community can attest to how much damage the typhoon brought to the beautiful green campus of U.P. Diliman--- 1 and 2. when we also passed by the Quezon City Memorial Circle, it was a chaotic scene-- uprooted or trees with broken branches were everywhere. same goes to the Parks and Wildlife in Quezon City. last i heard, Xangsane or Milenyo left our country with billions worth of damages.

i have a strong opinion regarding the billboards all over the city. some people just won't listen. they are not only hazardous to people but are also destructive to the cityscape. there are billboards along EDSA especially along the guadalupe bridge. they are a distraction to motorists especially the ones that project sexual images of women. i know that in the age of capitalism, advertisements reap fortunes for capitalists and that safety is no longer valued over profits from advertisement. but come on! have a little heart! the Philippines is one of the most visited countries of typhoons and billboards aren't practical for the sole reason that it's not strong enough to endure strong winds. the twisted metals of the billboards are just cringing to look at knowing that it killed a driver when one of those metal things slammed onto a vehicle killing the driver in the midst of the typhoon.

and that's not all. Xangsane is headed for Vietnam today. bless their souls. more bad news? an airplane flying to Brasilia disappeared mysteriously into the Amazon jungle en route to Brasilia. crazy. why? the other week i watched an old t.v. show on AXN (Peter Benchley's Amazon). the plot of this tv show is exactly the same thing that happened to this commercial aircraft!

1. commercial plane crashes into the Amazon jungle.
2. no survivors, search teams declared.
3. turns out that there were several survivors but it was too late. search teams have backed out from searching through the jungle because the Amazon is the most dangerous jungle to be in.
4. survivors find ways to survive, hoping to be rescued.

and it's scary because while i was watching it, i thought about how unfortunate it is for someone to be stuck in that jungle with piranhas and killer ants that feast on human flesh. aside from that, there are cannibal tribes in the jungle too! i can't believe that this happened and in REAL LIFE. i hope the search teams are sure that there are no survivors, though. if you watched that show i mentioned you'd know how sad it is if they pulled out and declared everyone dead when there are survivors in that deadly jungle.

did you have a good weekend? aside from the current events, mine was okay. we didn't suffer from the black-outs except for a couple of hours. we had electricity, cable, dsl, and celphone signal again right after the typhoon hit metro manila last friday. last night i went to the car show where they exhibit kick-ass cars and WOMEN. exploitation of women at its finest. it's just sad that these people turn to women as commodities in hopes of catching the attention of prospective customers. i know, i'm always anal about women's image as mere objects for men to ogle on. i just hate the point they're trying to make and i just hate why some women subject to such practice. this is just me. so hide your projectiles and throw them to someone else. *ducks from view*