gail the klutz

i twisted my ankle three times (or was it four?) today and i'm not even wearing heels! i can be a real klutz sometimes. twisting an ankle in public isn't the best thing that could happen to you especially if you're in a mall. so anyway, it made me and mitchie laugh. at first i panicked because it really hurt. like when i was in 5th grade, i was at the "mountain" (the group of huge rocks where kids liked to play in my old grade school) playing catch with classmates. then i twisted my ankle and i couldn't walk because it hurt so much to even put my foot down. i spent the rest of the week with a bandage around my ankle and it hurt so bad it was painful to stand up. but today's ankle twisting experience was okay, it didn't hurt. it was just funny and weird at the same time, twisting it for so many times within 10 hours!

i also got to watch Raising Helen after class. being the sap that i am, i cried over one certain scene during the funeral. i don't know, i have soft spots for kids and the kids really looked sad so i cried. shallow, yes? the movie wasn't so bad. it's shallow but it's perfect for killing time. i hate it when movies make you feel fat because all the actresses are skinny and they look good in everything. take for example Kate Hudson. she's so skinny that she looks good even in a plain shirt and jeans. isn't that frustrating?

i should end this now. i have a paper to write. here goes procrastination!

sunsets are irresistible

after typing up the entry above, i looked out the window and saw this:

no adobe photoshop alterations, whatsoever. the only editing i did on this is shrinking the huge image from the camera. wow. the colors of the sky a while ago was amazing!

random things

1. i have a library book on democracy which is way overdue. think MONTHS. i wonder how much i owe the library.
2. i craved for ice cream today. Selecta's double sundae (hot fudge and strawberry) is yummy and cheap.
3. new lay-out just because i want to.
4. i want to skip the hell week part and go straight ahead to sembreak already.
5. i wish i do not demand too much from myself all the time.

i bonded with nature and played with colors

totally irrelevant to what i'm about to post:

why can't i breathe whenever i think about you?
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you?

hay.

i was click-happy again today. after i came home from school i took out my camera and walked around the garden and came up with these.

I Bonded with Nature and Played With Colors
photo-tripped outside the house
click for larger versions


hot pink flowers (periwinkle?). pretty!


there's a larger version of this little plant beside it.


i think this plant is so cool.


this is similar to "stones and leaves" (refer to post with pictures down below) but different colors :)


how could i have forgotten this lonely stray cat outside the house? ta-dah! meet, erm.. the lonely cat!

oh yes, i am a movie buff

what have i been up to lately?

i've been busy with school work and org work. the election for new officers for OrgASM (Organization of Area Studies Major) is over and i didn't blow that one. i thought i was going to screw up that up (i was appointed as COMELEC chairman) but it was a success. i have to give credit to my COMELEC counterparts too. thank you, guys. i wouldn't have done it without you *flying kiss* (haha! that last part is a joke, of course! :P

so anyway, Apple slept over with Sarah during the weekend. we had fun, of course. we had a movie marathon. not only am i a bookworm, i am also a movie buff! so anyway, these are the movies that i got to see over the weekend:

My Sassy Girl
when i first saw this movie on thursday, i was tired and uber sleepy from school. but i was too excited to watch the movie and went ahead anyway. i ended up sleeping after the first disc of the 2 dvds was over, the first part bored me. last night i watched it again and this time i was "in the mood" to watch it. guess what? i absolutely loved it! i love it to pieces especially the second disc. i love the story and the ending. the cinematography was marvelous and i wish that there are places like the places that showed in the movie (in Korea, of course) here in the Philippines. my kind of resting (literally!) place. not burial place, ok?

Chasing Liberty
when this movie was shown in local cinemas, i didn't even think of watching it because i thought it was going to be another cheesey chick flick. it was cheesey, alright. a chick flick too but i liked it, nevertheless. a lot might disagree with me but oh well :P told you i'm shallow. i'm no movie critic anyway. so yes, this made me melt inside. aside from the story, i also like the places where the movie was shot. in Europe, of course! wow, i'd really want to go backpacking in Europe. you know, a spontaneous thing. as long as i have enough moolah in my pockets, a bag with my essentials, a cellphone, and a camera, then i'm good to go! oh, of course i need my Schengen visa too! i'll take the train all around Europe and live life as if Time does not exist. wouldn't that be stellar?

Laws of Attraction
today was the second time i watched this. i love Julianne Moore and Pierce Brosnan (not because he's HOT which he REALLY is). i think married couples should the message of the movie seriously because divorce is not the only option. couples should try harder to work things out not give in to whatever difficulties they're facing.

School of Rock
watched this for the second time too. i loved it because there are kids in it. i love kids and the story is animated. it's a feel-good movie that i won't mind watching again and again.

13 Going on 30
another favorite feel-good chick flick! not only am i a Jennifer Garner fan (ALIAS!!), it's also set in New York and the story is good. i also think the guy is cute although some of my friends think he's not. he's cute in a dorky way which makes him even more adorable. some guys are cute without them knowing that they are. that makes them even cuter. i don't mind watching this again and again too! the movie also sends out the message that you shouldn't rush things while you're young because you'll end up regretting the things that you should have done when you had the chance. plus, the decisions you will make in the present will effect the chain of events that will happen in the future. it's like a domino effect. screw up your priorities then a series of screw-ups will follow and affect your life in the future.

i still haven't watched the 2 (out of 4) of the movies i bought in Quiapo last week:

1. Honey (i like watching dance movies like Center Stage)
2. Mystic River (i heard it's really good)

yes, i bravely went to Quiapo with Mitchie and Jeremy last thursday. movies galore!

wow. 1 movie last night and 4 movies in the morning. that must be a record haha :P i had fun! but now it's back to work. apple and i are working on our geology paper. i have a lot of term papers due next week (last week of classes) plus finals after that.

Lord, help me survive. i can't wait till sembreak! you too! wish me luck, will ya! :P

the big dreamer and sky gazer

i love looking at the skies especially when big fluffly clouds loom ahead like giant white cotton candies. when i was younger i used to play the guess-what-that-cloud-looks-like game. it always thrilled me to spot a rabbit-shaped cloud or a cloud that looks like a ship! it was awesome, i tell you. my sister and i picked our favorite clouds in the car during long trips to the province to shoo away boredom.

now that i'm 19, i still love looking at the sky even when there are no clouds around. no matter what color it is- blue or gray, or the magnificent shades of sunrise and sunset, i still love staring at the vast horizon in awe. during my long rides home to and from school i would stare out the window and look up, all the while admiring how pretty the sky is. sometimes i would imagine that i brought my camera with me and i would pick the best angle to point my camera at. but that seldom happens in fright of getting my camera stolen in a public transportation vehicle (hehe).

so imagine my delight when i saw the lovely shades of sunrise this morning after my shower. i woke up at past 5 after the alarm went off two times. i grumpily and lazily went to shower. while i was going back up the stairs, i looked out the window on the second floor. i was mesmerized by what i saw. the sun was rising. i ran to the room and frantically searched for my camera, not wanting to miss a single second as the sun was rising... and then when i found my camera, i clicked away like a little child trying out her camera for the first time.

wasn't the sunrise this morning lovely? everyday i am thankful for the mere fact that i get to see the sunrise again. i always thought i was not a morning person because i like sleeping a lot. but after today i now like the fact that i get to see the sunrise no matter how early i must wake up for my classes.

four words: what. a. wonderful. world.

confessions of a book-a-holic

when i'm in the bookstore, i'm like a little child in a candy store.

i hate and love bookstores. how can this be?

I hate bookstores because they make me want to get everything I want from the shelves but the thing is, books aren't cheap, you know. i don't understand why they have to be expensive when it's good for the brain. books are highly entertaining and educational (yes, i know you know that).

I love bookstores because like I said, I'm like a little kid in a candystore. I don't know. Maybe because books have different worlds in each of them and it's just fascinating and exciting at the same time.

so today when i went to the bookstore, my heart leapt in elation (not exaggerating, mind you) when i saw that they stocked up on books. they finally have all the books that i want, the ones that i've been reading up on (reviews and synopses) on amazon. it's torture to see lots of books that you like only to find out that they aren't available in the local bookstores.

so yes, i saw all the books that i want today:

1. The Bridge of San Luis Rey (for a thin book, it costs 400++ bucks)
2. The Secret Life of Bees (again, for a thin book... it costs 900++)
3. The Life of Pi (i forgot how much this is)
4. The Five People You Meet in Heaven (i want!!!!)

yes, i will get those books within this year. i must! i can't wait for sembreak because by then i won't have to spend on anything unlike the way i spend my allowance on schooldays. by then i can go on a book binge.

but i should be happy because i finally got Stargirl by Gerry Spinelli. nothing like a good read on a quiet tuesday night.

mad rant ahead. you have been warned.

horrible/embarassing things happened to me today. to think that all these happened in between 8-10 AM!

1. after class i went to Mercury Drug to buy batteries and a bag of skittles. while i was paying i put down my folder because i couldn't possibly get my wallet from the bag if my hands were full. then this lady made rude remarks and hissing sounds (yes, like snake!) when i said, "excuse me" because she put her purchase on top of my folder. how was i supposed to leave when her stuff was on top of my folder? then when i politely asked her to take her stuff off my folder she gave me the hissing sound. i wonder how people can be so rude!

2. when i got to Q.C. i went to Jollibee to buy me breakfast. i don't know what i was thinking but when the lady gave me my order and asked me to sit first because my order was still being cooked, i carried my tray with one hand for crying out loud! so yes, naturally when i went up to an old man and asked if i could share the table wtih him, the large dalandan juice (my favorite!) spilled all over the floor. oh, the horror! i don't know what i was thinking! i admit, my mind drifted off someplace else. thus, the embarassing moment. everyone just turned my way when the juice fell. good thing this Jollibee guy took pity upon me and said he'd try to get me a new large cup. thank you, for kind hearted citizens. oh, lets not forget the sympathetic looks that the Jollibee guy and the old man gave me.

3. the nerve with some guys these days! while walking home, i got whistles from a guy i did not dare look back on. i was walking and he was faraway at my back whistling like i'm wearing some kind of skimpy outfit. no i wasn't. i was wearing my usual t-shit and jeans!!! i had a good time daydreaming about me walking up to the uneducated guy and giving him my piece of mind! i thought about how some guys get away with treating women like that because no one ever confronts them! oh, how i'd love to humiliate him in public! that oughta teach him a lesson or two. then again, i chickened out because i don't know the stranger. he might wait for me on a thursday when i come home late and (God forbid) might do something i would regret. but argggh!!! i'm still mad! *&!@%$!

*sigh*

sorry for the mad rant. i should've spared you from all the horror that happened today. but yes, i'm still here.

big fat puppy

you know she can climb the whole flight of stairs now! wow! i was watching tv earlier and i wondered why it was so quiet. it's unusual to come down after a nap and not find her jumping around down the stairs, waiting to nibble on pajamas or slippers. so a while ago it was freaky when we couldn't find her anywhere! after a while of searching for her (and trying to be calm), we found her upstairs! haha! the poor pup doesn't know how to go down the stairs so she must have been stuck up there.

et"never lose your childhood enthusiasm." - Under the Tuscan Sun

yesterday while at the school paper's office, my editor was animatedly talking about her love life. i stared at her enthusiastic face and listened to her as she ranted. we were talking for a good 30 minutes when she said, "anong year mo na ba? di ba freshie ka?" i said, "no i'm a junior already." she gave me this shocked look. "Ano? eh kanina pa kita kinakausap na parang freshie!".

this isn't the first time that people mistook me for someone way younger. i can't blame them. i stand only 5'1 and i don't wear make up or dress like i look older. i take it as a compliment whenever people think that i'm in high school. it's fun to be young.

then it got me thinking. when i watched "Under the Tuscan Sun", a line caught my attention:

"never lose your childhood enthusiasm."

i realized that being young is such a fun thing to be. when we grow old we begin to lose our enthusiasm in appreciating the little things. our age becomes a barrier into driving us to do new things. some people say, "I'm too old for trying that" or "It's too late". i think that's the wrong attitude because age should not stop us from driving us into what we really want to achieve. even the little things like taking up an old hobby or rekindling an old interest.

when people grow old they also tend to go through tougher times and it's hard to be happy- childlike happy. if you know what i mean. so i made a promise to myself that no matter what happens i will never lose my childhood enthusiasm because it's fun to be shallow and it's fun to appreciate the little things that other people don't even pay attention to. it's fun to appreciate life like watching sunsets, appreciating the different colors of the sky as the sun rises, splashing your feet into puddles after it rained, singing in the shower, getting all the red Skittles, and getting that extra 5 minutes of sleep after your alarm goes off.

i'm no Dr. Phil but i know what my philosophy in life is and that alone makes me happy. it keeps me sane.

if growing up means taking the best things in life for granted or having too high expectations, then i might not want to grow up anymore!

life in black and white

photos that i posted at my Deviant Art. click for larger view.

all black and white photos were taken last Thursday, September 16, 2004 at the library of National Institute of Geological Sciences at UP Diliman for our group term paper for geology class.


at the dance studio at school.


playing with colors. i love the contrasting colors of the leaves and the stones.


at the NIGS library. too many blank pages to fill out.


when you're down, "think of happy thoughts", they say.


now that you're gone, who's going to fill that empty chair?

snapshot n : an informal photograph

defined "snapshot" up there just so you would know the difference between a photograph and a snapshot :) snapshots are random. you just point and click! you don't have to be artsy. you don't need "the eye" for taking snapshots :)

i like to watch people. that's my new thing. i also bring my camera with me everywhere, all the time.

Geog131 at the IMS computer lab at PGH (Philippine General Hospital) at 7 AM. no, we're not computer science majors although we do look like computer science majors here. our professor is the head of IMS so he lets us surf during lecture time. wow!

during our 1 and a half hour break before our political science class. from under the blue umbrella at the cafeteria. my friends and i go boy-hunting here haha! this is where we always spot our crushes because it's the only cafeteria at the AS!

before polsci class. we all look like this- cramming and reading whatever readers were assigned for the recitations. Krizia, why so serious?

geology class. apple's armchair was doodled/vandalized. this doodle was funny because it was of our geology professor! haha! there's even a baby version of prof D.L.A. it was just freaking hilarious. every armchair at my school is vandalized with graffiti and lyrics of some sentimental song. it's funny. it keeps you sane and entertained during a boring lecture.

polsci class. Novee is doing her dance haha :D

everyone's talking and laughing all at the same time.

zandra and jenna waiting for people to come out of the classroom.

see? my life isn't so bad! :)

school girl crush

today while hanging out with friends at the cafeteria under the bright blue umbrella, we watched the rain drizzle lightly as we ate our snacks. vanessa and i were joking around, laughing so hard until we realized that we were getting really hyper (blame it on sugar rush). at that moment my crush walked by and stopped in front of our table. he was talking to a friend. i stole a couple of glances and i hate it that he had to look so cute in jeans, white shirt, and navy blue Chucks (just like mine!). no one ever looked so good in plain clothes, i tell you.

i wish i knew his full name other than knowing just his nickname, i wish i knew what his course is, or anything about him. i hate it that i have to watch him from a distance and end up daydreaming about him the whole day.

then again, i should be thankful because at least he's in one of my classes. my only dilemma is that the semester is about to come to an end and soon, i will not get to see him everyday anymore.

pretty soon i will bid my school-girl crush farewell.

it must have been school spirit

yesterday was interesting. i went to the UAAP Cheering Competition, my second time to watch it live at the Big Dome. i skipped the event during freshman year, i was too uninterested and too unattached (yet) to my school. the absence of loyalty to my new school was undeniable. but of course that already changed now that i'm on my third year.

three years after, i stood at the bleachers shouting my lungs off, cheering for my school. never mind waking up extra early to line up for tickets, the insanely long hours we had to wait and the crazy crowd that was outside as my friends and i lined up for the tickets. if i didn't love my school this much, i would have went home. i almost did, actually. also, thank God for my friends who were still sane (unlike i was) because they willingly obliged to line up for me. i gave up after mitchie and i were squeezed to a wall and people just kept pushing and shoving that it wasn't worth going through the trouble anymore. or so i thought.

when we got into the bleachers, i was there again. memories of last year's competition swept over me like a flashflood. the same feeling of pride was inside of me and as we chanted the school's cheer, my adrenaline pumped and everything i had felt earlier just dissolved. i forgot that i was fuming mad and tired a few minutes before. i thought about how i almost gave up if it weren't for my crazy (but well-loved) friends who really wanted to watch the cheering competition. there was also something else in there. ah, school spirit. that's what they call it. the school spirit was intoxicating. everyone cheered for their own schools and the energy inside the Dome was just admirable.

we may not have won first place but 2nd place was good enough :) i am still proud of the UP Pep Squad for a job well done, except for their costumes. there was something wrong there. maybe the colors were just plain. from where we watched, it did not give any sort of impact at all. but we love the UP Pep Squad just the same.

on my way home, i had to replay the excruciating hours of the competition. you see, my friends and i stood up during the whole event and my feet killed me. i thought i was going to walk out of the Coliseum flat-footed. but you know what? contrary to my initial prediction, it was worth going through all the trouble: the lack of sleep, the sweat, the painful feet, and other sorts of body pain just to get tickets because nothing can replace the natural high i felt yesterday.

what made the whole "nightmare-ish" experience durable?

ah, it must be school spirit!

diversity is healthy

i was supposed to not go to the CCP (Cultural Center of the Philippines) visit today for my HIST114 class but i was able to drag myself out of the house despite the many temptations.

i love the CCP. it's the home of the many great Filipino artists no matter what their fields of specialty are: visual art, literary art, or performing art. perhaps this is because i am a frustrated visual artist (i wish i could paint), writer (i wish i could write and win a Palanca award someday), and a performing artist (i wish i had the guts to join an acting workshop). it's a totally different world inside the CCP. it won't fail to amaze you how gifted people can be: the ballerinas, the visual artists, the actors and actresses, the singers, the pianists, the sculptors... i can go on and on.

so far, i've taken up ballet lessons (oh yes, surprised eh?), piano lessons (for 8 years), painting lessons, and a few dancing lessons when i was a child. yes, i was already active when i was a little girl but what i lacked during that time was patience. i wanted to be good at all of these all at once. i had many interests rather than playing all day. but none of these became fruitful. i wasn't interested in ballet during that time (oh, the regret!), i lacked concentration during my piano lessons (i didn't want to play before but now i really do), about the painting lessons? i was a kid. i had a short attention span. dancing lessons, i was too lazy to attend the classes. oh, i was also supposed to be enrolled in voice lessons but they didn't have voice coaches in Myanmar when i lived there.

so yes, the regrets. but just last summer i wanted to enroll in an acting workshop. this will help boost my self-esteem, my public speaking, and it will finally cure my bad case of stage fright. for those who know me in person might be wide-eyed shocked by this revelation but yes, i have stage fright. if it doesn't show, it's probably because i'm sometimes good at hiding it and acting cool on stage. but really, being in front of people just gives me the palpitations and the jitters. my grade school best friend invited me to join PETA (a theatrical group similar to TRUMPETS) and sign up for the workshops because it was going to be fun. but it was summer vacation and i had to take care of some things (like beach hopping! haha!) so i passed. maybe when i'm off school i'll take time to do the things i really want before joining the crazy work force they call the "rat race".

i think it's great that there are a lot of opportunities out there for me. all i need to do is to be bold enough to sum up all the guts i could squeeze out of my system. why? so that i can be what i want to be and quench the thirst for adventure and rediscover myself.

i always believed that in order to succeed you have to focus on the field that you excel in the most. yes, this is true but there's a whole new different side.

i believe that it won't hurt to try out your luck in other fields (other than the one you're good at) because who knows? you might have been ignoring your skills outside the field of your specialty because you were too busy excelling in that one field that you blew your chance of discovering a new talent.

thank you, Ms. Racsag

dear Ma'am Racsag,

my Political Science classes with you are the ones that I will never forget even after I have graduated from the nutshell we, your students, call UP Manila. they say that in colllege, you will come across professors who will make your life a living hell and professors who will leave their marks on you forever. when this happens, you are never the same and their prints will be with you forever- locked in a treasure box where the rest of all the good memories are kept. ironically, you made our lives both a living hell (because of your exams and class recitations) and you surely made marks on our lives which will surely stay there forever (in a good way). again ironically, YOU ARE BOTH these types.

during my POLSCI11 class with you, I wasn't particularly aware that you had a reputation of being a "terror professor" because you were quite easy on us. you did not check attendance and your exams were easy. i will be honest by saying that the best part of being in your POLSCI11 class is the fact that your busy schedule attending conferences around the world and juggling your Masteral classes made you miss classes often. but this did not made you any less admirable and intellectual as you really were. you never ceased to amaze us, your students, whenever you lecture. your lectures were not at all boring, stale, and uninteresting. you had a quirky way of educating us mixing several political theories with your witty remarks and funny comments. you would also throw in bits and pieces of your life which made your classes all the more interesting and worth earning a perfect attendance.

i was more than ecstatic when i saw your name on my registration form again this semester. we met again for POLSCI160. but this time, you weren't the same. you were still quirky, witty, and smart. but we saw the "terror professor" in you. it is in your class that we experienced near fatal heart attacks because you would randomly pick a name on the class list and grill the person with your ever-intellectual questions. you would smile sometimes but sometimes you would wear this firm look on your face- the i-will-not-take-nonsense-answers look. that scared us a lot, you know.

i remember the time when you called on one of your students. when she wasn't able to answer you sent her out of your class. just like that. that scared the living hell out of us. the next day we made sure that we completed all the reading requirements and read it. but some of us are just so hard-headed that they still attend your class without reading your required readings (like me!). so when the day came and my name was called, i thought i was going to faint. my mouth went dry, my hands were clammy, and in my mind a hundred different images played like a slide show inside my head- images of me walking out of the classroom, images of me fainting because of fright, images of me panicking, images of me not knowing what to say. it was scary beyond words. i opened my mouth and tried to speak but instead of my voice, i heard a faint squeak. i cleared my throat and apologized to you, clutched both my hands onto my chest, and told you that i was nervous. you smiled and assured me i wasn't going to be put on death row so i can relax. Di naman kita lalamunin, you said. so i relaxed a little and answered your question. you didn't send me out and that, i was very very thankful for.

despite your being a "terror professor", you have a way of balancing your firmness and quirkiness in ways that other professors wouldn't be able to pull off. we are scared of you when you're in your "terror mode" but we love you still because your being firm taught us to be responsible students. plus, we always enjoy your classes because you always make us laugh with your funny jokes!

you also taught me a lot of lessons (aside from our lessons in POLSCI160) and i hope you know how grateful i am for that. we, your students, still get palpitations when you pick up that class list of yours (that you never fail to bring) but you are one of the best professors the DSS (Department of Social Science) is lucky to have. we admire your intellect, your ability to see what lies beneath the surface, your attitude of not being contented with just mere opinions, and your teaching skills which are VERY effective.

i will be quite honest and frank with you when i say that i'm not sure if i am looking forward to another class with you again for one of my electives (though i'm still thinking about it) because i am still petrified by your essay type exams. i feel like i was a law student while answering your exams and my head literally hurt a lot while reviewing my answers when we had that exam a week ago. that exam gave me only one hour of sleep the night before but i still think you're the best professor ever. you will go far and you will get that PhD degree of yours that you are currently working on at such a young age.

hurrah for people like you who can make learning fun (although hellish sometimes).

your student,
Gail

___________________________________
no, i will not give this letter to her. maybe after my classes with her. i just want to thank her in my own little way (even if she doesn't know that).

i am strong, i know i am

yesterday was horrible. the busiest day of all and to think that everything happened at past 4. hay. school life is so stressful but i'm glad that i'm still standing. no strong wind will topple me over. the roots are clinging onto the soil beneath so tight that even a tornado won't bring me down. yes, this is true! everything's not perfect, issues here and there, school stress, no rest for weeks now, but i'm still standing.

i only slept for 2 hours again yesterday. the org meeting ended at around 7 PM which made me miss the staff meeting for the school paper. but that's okay because i asked permission to be excused for last night. then when i got home i was so tired but seeing Amidala (our Shih Tzu) made me feel a little better. that little puppy can charm anyone. i like the feeling of coming home and having her waiting for me at the door. then she would jump up and down as she follows me around while i find something to eat in the kitchen.

so yesterday when i got home i tried to sum up all the energy i could sum up with just to study for the geology exam (in a few hours!). i had a tall glass of iced coffee and ended up being wide awake as an owl. i was too tired to NOT SLEEP so when i got to bed i fell asleep right after hitting my head on the pillow. thanks to caffeine i wasn't able to sleep well.

UAAP cheering this sunday. i'm ecstatic :) no tickets yet which means that my friends and i will be at the araneta center in the wee hours of the morning.

LETS GO UP!!!!

filling the empty hole

it's amazing how ordinary people can touch people's lives and actually make a difference. friends are like a big bowl of chicken soup. they make you feel better in the inside when the world is making you sick. they are like eyeglasses. they make you see things clearly when your sight is blurry.

Angela Chase, from My So-Called Life (only the best tv show that ended so soon), said:

Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart.

that's what friends do, even friends that you don't know that well yet or haven't even met. this morning i must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed. i switched off the alarm clock unintentionally and slept through the time that i had alotted to get ready for my 7 AM class. as a result, i ended up not going to my classes altogether (don't ask). so i felt like crap the rest of the day cringing in guilt of skipping my classes today.

it's not just that. i thought about past frustrations, failures, and how tough it actually is to get where i want to go. a movie, a nap, and lunch later, i had a throbbing migraine and palpitations. the day turned out to be such a nightmare because of the heavy heart and the physical pain i was feeling. i felt so frustrated. i felt sad.

so i went online just to amuse myself. there weren't any dvds left for me to watch anyway. then i saw my friends online. first, it was paul. he pointed out that maybe the reason why i feel frustrated is because i'm not working on things that God had intended for me. maybe i had focused on my own plans for so long that i didn't realize how unfruitful it is when you take your eyes off what God really wants for me. so i made a pact with myself: i am going to read the bible daily now and remember how much God loves me that He won't forsake me. Paul even agreed to meet with me once a week online, just to see how i'm doing. i'm also planning to create a group blog where people can share about the verses they've read in the Bible and talk about it. let me know if you want to join. thank you, Paul. you made me feel much better.

then there was Macy. we talked about baking and our conversation made me feel good because i do enjoy baking. she shared a Mrs. Fields recipe with me and i don't know, this is just a small thing but it made me better. talking about the things you like with people who like the same thing can make a big difference when you need to be cheered up. thank you, Mace!

lastly, Vince! i shared my favorite song and it was nice talking about Amidala like she's actually a real person. Amidala is the Limcumpao's Shih-Tzu, by the way :) it felt great to gush about Alla and be proud of her weight gain. thank you, Vince!

now i'm better. i'm recharged and i'm happy!

sunday afternoon well-spent.

yesterday, chillax session with my long-time-no-see-senior-year-highschool friend, Ina.

i don't normally answer the phone. it's a bad habit of mine to be lazy to pick up the phone because i've long ago quit spending hours burning the phone line (sigh high school days). but i'm glad i did answer the countless rings (that girl was determined) and it turned out to be Ina. she asked if i had plans fo the rest of the afternoon (it was 1 PM) and i said i was just watching tv. a shower and a cab ride later i was at Starbucks in West Ave. waiting for her.

wow. that was one of the longest serious conversation i had for quite some time. we sat under the green umbrellas outside the coffeeshop, talked over my belgian waffle, iced caramel machiatto and her, cigarettes and iced chocolate.

it felt good to stop the world for a while. i enjoyed the conversation and didn't even notice that we were there for 4 straight hours. we talked about things including our plans after graduation. i now have an official roommate if we both ever get to move to New York after we graduate. it's amazing to find people who share so many identical dreams. we have similar dreams of moving abroad to study and we both picked New York. isn't that cool? i thought i was going to be alone in that city. if plans do push through, we just might be roommates. God, i hope we will make this big thing happen... moving to New York and all.

little things in life such as hanging out and updating each other on each other's lives is what i treasure, among many other things. it feels good to see (good) old friends after a long time and be reminded of the reason why you became friends in the first place.

we then moved to Country Style because the couches are comfortable there. we hung out for a little while longer until we both had to leave.

thus, ended our afternoon well spent.

bloggers of the world unite, we have nothing to lose

i'm online even if i don't want to be online because i'm still on my CSI marathon (since yesterday). but i'm downloading The Way You Look Tonight both Rod Stewart's version and that of Tony Bennett's. talk about being O.C. i don't want to go offline until i've finished downloading these mp3s.

so while waiting for excruciating minutes, i've been bloghopping my way around blogspot users journals. i've been a livejournal user for more than 2 years although i initially started blogging with blogger. so this new domain of blogspot bloggers is new to me and it's good to find out that that there are a lot of bloggers out there out of the livejournal domain. so anyway, it's amazing how journals (whether digital or by the notebook) can be windows of people's souls. it's amazing to read bits and pieces of people's minds and even sometimes catch yourself saying, "hey! i feel the same way!" or hear the opinions of others which they could not have let out in the open if it weren't for the wonders of blogging.

i've always been the "i-have-something-to-say-regarding-this-matter" kind of person. i've always been observant of the things happening around me. if you read the young-adult book called "The Watcher" where there was this young man who just sits on the steps all day watching the people at the beach- marveling on the children he sees playing, the mother taking care of her child as she gets a tan, the father who is walking his toddler son, and the teenage boy who goes for a walk along the shore all day. that kind of observing. he doesn't participate in these activities. he just sits there all day watching people. the difference with me is that i do participate once in a while. but sometimes i just let it stay inside my head because watching people is enough for me to know that the world is still turning. people's minds are amazing and we are so different yet so alike in so many other ways.

when i read blogs, it's like reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" (Steven Chbosky) only these blogs are the journal versions of normal people just like you and me.

for me, the writer and the thinker in me are able to quench their thirsts into pondering on things that are rather left inside the mind and because of the wonders of blogging, i get to share it with the world through the beauty of writing.

and what do you know? my downloads are almost finished. have a restful sunday.

dreams (just might) come true

never lose your childhood enthusiasm
- Under the Tuscan Sun

i watched Under the Tuscan Sun and i am going to put it on my "favorites list".

i have a thing for movies with a European setting. perhaps this is because i have a thing for Europe. i always dream about going on a long vacation somewhere in Italy. i see myself like what Frances (Diane Lane) did in the movie- she left her busy, depressing, San Francisco city life to build a new life at sunny Tuscany, Italy.

European cities have their own magical spells that would draw anyone who learns about the city. being the history buff that i am, i would like to own a run-down villa myself and learn about its history. i think it's mysterious to own a house which can tell its story (minus the ghosts, of course). i want a villa with a wide lawn, lots of trees, and maybe a fountain at the backyard. an orchard would be lovely. i want it on top of a hill where i can watch the best sunset in the world as i lay back on a deck chair with a book in my hands. i would like to stop running under time pressure. i want to live in a place where everything is safe and where everyone doesn't give a care in the world as to how fast this world is changing. i would like to live where people take things slowly, one day at a time. i want to breathe fresh air and admire the serenity of the countryside.

i always thought that i was a city person. i thought i could not live without malls, buildlings, and other usual infrastructures you would find in a city. then i realized that i could live without these. i can live without hearing car horns honk their loudest everyday. i can live without the air pollution suffocating me in the afternoons. i can live without the traffic, the hustle and bustle of city life. i could actually give up city life and flee for the countryside where nature is the kindest and the prettiest.

i know that when i have my own place and the money to build a new home, i know that it wouldn't be in a city. i know that it will be in far away Europe where i can smell the flowers and admire the landscape. i know i will learn the language and converse with people of their culture. i know i will walk the hallways of the museums and admire the art. i know i would someday sit in front of a window overlooking a beautiful view, writing away how contented and at peace i am at that very moment.

and the best thing of all is that i know i will be happy.

2 things that make me happy: CSI marathons and Amidala

new layout because i got tired of the old one. besides, i don't think the design matters anyway. i journal because the writing is therapeutic. i've been doing this for 4 years now. amazing.

so i had a C.S.I. mini marathon all by myself today. okay, i was with Amidala (our 8 month old Shi Tzu). she was so playful, running here and there and charming her way into climbing on the couch to watch tv with me. she's not yet bathed so i couldn't let her charms get me. she was vaccinated last week and my veterinarian uncle warned us not to give her a bath until it's officially one week after. so yes, Amidala had to stay her cute but unbathed self. also, she just had to chew on my blue slippers and i scolded her each time she chewed on it. she's so playful now, and very heavy! i can't get over how much she gained weight since she became a member of this household. her hair is growing really long too! i can't wait until it grows really long and i can play with it if she allows me to. she has one of these special doggie brushes and she likes being stroked by it as long as you won't hurt her. she's a well-behaved little pup and follows me practically everywhere i go. i think i'm her favorite.

okay so about the marathon, all the first season episodes of C.S.I. were really stellar :) i'm a huge C.S.I. nut. on monday i am going on a very anticipated trek to Quiapo to get me dvds. my sister warned me several times not to go because it's a dangerous place. but i'm going with Simoun, my good guy buddy so i won't be alone. i'll dress down. in fact, i don't need to do that. i won't attract attention anyway even if i go as my own loser self.

i'm taking a break from the mini-marathon because i'm getting dizzy from staying in front of the tv for the WHOLE DAY. no kidding. aside from the 2 hour nap i took, i was on the couch the whole day.

i can live like this for a long time.

confessions of a drama queen

last night i talked to my dad and told him how stressful school has become. i told him about my woes and my ups-and-downs. then i joked that i want to get into an accident and slip into a comatose just to freeze time but of course, i don't want to die. i just want to fall into a coma. then he got mad. as in really upset with me. he was quiet for a while and at that moment i could tell that it wasn't a good joke. i am the daddy's girl. so it must've hurt him to think about something bad happening to me.

the thing is, i was half-joking. meaning, i somehow meant about being in a coma and all.

wow. i think of morbid thoughts which depresses people around me. yesterday and this morning i yapped about the same incident. i know i shouldn't let stress and obstacles get me because after all, i may be stronger than i think i am. besides, my family loves me. i love my folks and i wouldn't want them to get hurt while i go through stressful times.

it must be the weather.

and no, i'm not suicidal.

spectacular movie that made my morning

it's past 1 AM and i'm still awake with the tv on, the computer running, and papers scattered all over the bed. if you could only see the state of the bed right now, you'd think that a tornado passed by. half a bag of Chips Ahoy later, i am still awake with half closed eyes.

tonight i watched A Walk in the Clouds while studying. it is probably one of the best movies that i have watched. i remember watching this movie years back when i was a little kid- devoid of emotion pertaining to love. all i ever loved were my Barbie dolls. anyway, i love the cinematography. the location where the film was shot was just amazing. it's a vast vineyard with a picturesque landscape. i love it. i noticed that there were a lot of scenes with abreathtaking shots of the sky and the sunset. spectacular. i was in a trance while watching the film. i wonder if true love really happens that way. Keanu Reeves was HOT. Aitana Sanchez-Gijon (the leading lady) was equally beautiful. the movie is magical, i tell you. i just love the movie!

i would die of happiness if i hear someone say this about me without intending for me to hear it (just like in the movie!)

Paul: I know that she is good and strong and deserves all the love this world has to give. Can't you see that, how wonderful, how special she is?

here's another quotable quote:

Paul: Sometimes the people we meet change us forever.

i should hop onto bed now if i want to stay awake for my exams tomorrow. good night...er...morning!