one rant before i go

i dream of a bright sunny day, big multi-colored umbrellas, a lounge chair, the feel of sand between and beneath my toes, the sound of waves crashing to the shore, and a tall glass of ripe mango shake (you can add a miniature umbrella to that just to finish the feel). the operative word being DREAM. it's the last week of classes but i feel like i still have two months to go before i taste sem break. exams and deadlines are lined up. it's like Hinduism. one has to go through an endless cycle (SAMSARA) to finally be free (MOKSHA). yes, the things you go through just to attain NIRVANA.

listening to house music isn't helping either because i'm bobbing my head up and down again. i should be working on my paper. read all my blockmates' blog and you'll get the same endless complaints like mine. most of us get migraines. we're stressed. or maybe we're not only the group of college students who are going through the same things. i'm sure other schools are also having their fair share of cramming, exams, and whatnot. i'm feeling a wee bit panicky. another imaginary kick on the butt for me for waiting the last minute to get things done. i can give a loud cry right now but that won't change a thing. i never change. i should change.

my mother is leaving for the States on friday and she might stay for months there. i'm going to miss her-- so much that i want to cry. i've been ignoring the nearing of the date of departure because i don't want her to go. i want to go with her! HAHA! but yeah, it's only going to be for a couple of months (graw, she won't be here for Christmas!) but at least she got her phone on roaming. so it's just my sister and i plus daddy dearest. i hope he won't tighten the leash on us because it's already really tight. i'm sure he can be the hip father he used to be BWAHAHA. i hope my mother gives him "the talk" about accepting that my sister and i are no longer children or whatever that will enlighten him to stop being paranoid about us leaving the house. then again, his love of his life won't be around for a couple of months... he might want my sister and i to be at home ALL THE TIME. yegads.

i'm out of here! i need to get a move on!

NO WAIT! i remember reading this poem and actually feeling that i was there in the woods on a snowy evening. this was a 10 year old me reading a Robert Louis Stevenson poem and daydreaming like i was actually in the freezing weather, tired and worn. i love the last two lines

Stopping By the Woods On A Snowy Evening
robert louis stevenson

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.



yep. and miles to go before i sleep. i can totally relate.