the past few days were a whirlwind of activities because i was bombarded with schoolwork. not that it's all over now. the tornado is still here and i'm spinning in circles. i'm dizzy and i'm exhausted, i want to throw in the towel or crawl under a rock and die. i used to think that i was pretty tough when it comes to handling stress. stress used to be fun. in high school, i felt useless without homework or extracurricular activities to keep me busy. now i'd give anything to slack off even for just a few days without worrying for upcoming quizzes (AS121 and HIST116) which we have every single day. throw in 3 more upcoming exams next week and a weekend scheduled for studying, there goes my supposed "rest days". come watch with me and see my only two days to recharge go down the drain just like that. it's like a sin to not do anything related to school these days and it's definitely taking its toll on me. i want to pull my hair and scream so loud. what more when senior year starts after this semester?

the only thing i liked about the past few days were: our spontaneous McDonald's dinner last wednesday (twister fries and sprite makes me happy); crushed ice topped with fresh strawberries and a scoop of strawberry ice cream from Ice Monster lifted my spirits up; the whole third season of Alias and a copy of Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being care of my sister's best friend, Marae in exchange for my lending her Daughter of Fortune (Isabel Allende) and Veronica Decides to Die (Paulo Coelho). the book and the set of dvds are waiting for me patiently atop a sidetable. i heard it screaming my name while i finished school work last night.

on wednesday, i also finally got my blood extracted for tests. i fasted for 14 hours again enduring thirst for that long (my throat was so dry). i could go without food but water? that was torture. when i got to the hospital, a tube of blood was extracted from me. i'm not scared of blood or needles but when the baby beside me wailed like there's no tomorrow, i got nervous. the poor little 4 month old baby looked at me with her distorted and agonized face that i wanted to reach out to her and cradle her (not like her mother wasn't doing just that). i was instructed to drink a bottle of orange solution and was warned not to throw-up after i've gulped the huge bottle of glucose. then i was asked to come back after an hour to get more blood extracted. i did just that and after i came back, the medtech said another hour more than one last tube of blood before i'm free to eat (after hours of hunger). the funny thing is that i didn't feel hungry. my tummy was just bubbly. heeh. i was then told that the test was to determine if i have diabetes or not because i am the candidate to inherit the disease from my mother's side of the family. my mom has it.

tomorrow is judgement day. i will finally find out what's wrong (or hopefully...WHAT'S NOT WRONG) with my health. i have crazy hormone counts and i'll have to see the endocrinologist again tomorrow when my aunt picks me up with my grandfather because he has to get a test done himself.

it's raiza's birthday dinner tomorrow and then Eastwood afterwards. i can't go. i have so many things to do and i feel so bad because I BADLY WANT TO GO. i just had to tell myself that after i graduate there will be more birthday celebrations. skipping one won't hurt. too bad. i badly want to hang out with my AUH high school friends.

wish me luck!