life can be better

school was bummer today. i failed the freaking first exam for my POLSCI160 class along with 95% of the class. only 7 passed. the good thing is that we get to retake it on Friday and the higher score of the two exams will be recorded so obviously, i have to get a high grade for the second exam. these past few weeks have been a whirlwind. i hate living in weeks like this- cramming and studying. sometimes fruitful, sometimes not. the frustrating part of studying is when you feel like you've worked really hard only to find out that you don't measure up. only to find out that all that effort was nothing. it's frustrating. so for the rest of the day until i came home, i had a heavy heart and a worrying mind. math and STS exam tomorrow.

it's raining again. i wish i could just lay down on the bed and listen to the rain fall outside but no, i have to study study study. i have 2 exams tomorrow, another on friday, and another on tuesday. so naturally, this weekend will be spent studying for the geology test instead of what i had anticipated- bumming and having that well-deserved rest. instead, my rest day will be postponed to next weekend (if there is such a thing as "rest day" these days).

i know i shouldn't work myself out this much but i really have to because school is pressuring me to be the best i can. i need to know that i can succeed in my endeavors, i need to prove myself to "me". it gets draining once in a while. sometimes i think about what would have become of me if i had chosen a different school. maybe i had more social life. then again, what would social life do for my future? but still. the thought of kicking back and relaxing WHILE studying sounds highly tempting. i envy everyone who have graduated and are now officially a part of the workforce. i like planning for the future. i like thinking about where to apply for a job and how i'd like my life to turn out after graduation.

but right now? graduation feels so far away because there are more exams to pass, papers to write, blood to sweat, readings to read, and terror professors to meet.

heaven isn't too far away from here

... thus, i took these today from my room's window. it's amazing how the beauty of nature is just within my reach.

gail live from the Pfizer computer lab

I'm at PGH (Philippine General Hospital) right now to kill time before my next class. i'm with my classmates and they're online too. we have nothing else to do but to go online so here we are. my exam is at 5:30 today but i'm wishing that the exam would be moved tomorrow because i'm not ready. then again, i may never be ready for this exam. it just scares the SH%t out of me. if the exam will push through, i don't know if i would go home and come back or just stay until 5:30. oh well. i will find out later in an hour or so.

i'll make sure to get high powered AA batteries on my way home just to make sure i get to try out my new digital toy :) i'm such a gadget freak. if i only had the money to buy all the gadgets that i want, that i will do! i'm saving up for an i-pod right now. in three months i will have enough money to get myself one. my sister adviced me to ask my parents for a little amount but i'm too shy to ask. i hardly ask them for things because i know that they've given me enough already. by i want an i-pod! maybe i should sell my old digital camera haha :P no, i'm too in love with it.

photo tripping

i want to go on a photo trip and take pictures of:
1. people
2. the fruit stands at the market
3. sunset shots at Bay Walk in Roxas Boulevard
4. more people.
5. the beach
6. Tagaytay
7. Baguio

but too bad i don't have friends who share the same enthusiasm as i have in photography so i have no one to pose for my photos or no one to go with me whenever i want to photo trip. that's just plain sad. plus, with the busy school schedule that i have, i can't seem to find time to squeeze in photography anymore except for the educational visits to historical sites for history class.

after this whole week is over and the three exams are over and done with, i can breathe easy and indulge in a dvd marathon: CSI and FRIENDS :) nothing like bumming around. i know i complained about being a bummer and all but right now i want to be my old self: A BUM.

new layout

new lay-out which i designed this afternoon in between studying for an exam tomorow. the dragonfly photo manipulation on this page was taken yesterday (refer to previous entry). i love dragonflies.

must get off cyberspace. must study. now.

good bye!

at the Walls

the Intramuros visit was fun. my Hist114 class and i got more than what we had expected. we had SO MUCH FUN hanging out with the whole class and our uber cool professor. she even treated us for ice cream at Jollibee just beside Lyceum and then after the visit was over she wanted to stop by McDonald's because she was hungry. she insisted on treating the whole class for burgers but we had to stop her and we treated her instead as token of appreciation.

after not eating anything from McDonald's for more than 2 months (i think it's 3 months even), i had McDonald's for two days in a row. Filet-O-Fish. my new guilty pleasure. oh my! i love Filet-O-Fish. ay, i'm craving for Filet-O-Fish again.


Gotta love nature
the story of a lost dragonfly

so while we were at the wall which faces the Parian (where the Chinese went to trade, currently where Lawton is), we had a great time taking in the view. then a few feet away from us, a swarm of dragonflies were dancing about. Lariz and Joseph were really silly trying to capture the big fat dragonflies. they got lucky and got one. the poor guy posed for my pictures and no, he's not dead. the big fat dragonfly is very much alive in these pictures.


lariz and joseph going dragonfly hunting


after we released the poor guy :)


isn't it pretty?


beauty on my fingertip :)


go fly, little dragonfly!







The Walls

the Manila City Hall


the golf course outside the wall






hanging out at the Walls.


the history buffs :P
Dr. Boncan, Jules, Apple, Joseph, Vhan, Me, and Darlene. poor Anthony was at the back.
the rest were out there somewhere looking around.

isn't it nice that we get to be in this place anytime we want? it's sad how Filipinos just neglect it. i assure you, you'll appreciate it more if you've studied the history of the Walled City or just read up bits and pieces on it. the wall itself is amazing, considering that they've been there for a long long time. in the words of Paolo P., my history classmate:

Each stone has a story to tell.
(referring to the stones that make up the long stretch of wall surrounding Intramuros, the Walled City)

the secret life of a busy Me

my POLSCI160 exam today was farking hard! argh! oh, did i tell you that i did not finish reviewing last night? or was it morning already...? so i ran late for first period. the 7 AM class but thank goodness the professor did not check attendance. when i got to school i was in time for the exam. when the professor came we all pleaded for the exam to be moved but to no avail :( how sad.

the exam was 4 questions, in essay form. 25 points each. you would think that once you have memorized everything and understood everything you would be able to ace the exam. but NO. definitely NOT. the questions would make you think really hard. not just "THINK" but "THINK LOGICALLY" and relate it to the past lessons of the course. argh. fark. then there was time pressure. it sucks. we lacked time because the class after us was hurrying us already (even if their professor wasn't there yet. the nerve.

after class i could have gone home right away but i had to photocopy readings for another exam tomorrow. a subject which isn't really a major. it's non-academic even but the instructor (the super-duper-intellectual professor who has lots of books published by the UP press and has been a speaker for various organizations) is just too strict to let an exam pass. so i'm trying to absorb the history of Filipino Families, Case Stuidies on Feminism and Gender Related Biographies, etc. hay.

i so envy Apple because she's going to Caged tomorrow. me? no no to social life for now and looks like i won't be having fun this weekend at all, except for the Intramuros visit again tomorrow with my history class. expect me to post lots of pictures when i get back tomorrow afternoon.

okay bye. break is over. Alla keeps me sane. she's still cute, by the way :D

i love you

i ♥ you, you know i do! i'm so thankful that you came into my life and you can count on me to love you and shower you with care! i looooove youuuuu!

i just want to make sure the rest of the world knows.

she's a Shih-Tzu puppy :)


she's so cuddly and she likes cuddling between my sister and i on the couch and everywhere she feels warm :)

folks, meet Amedala :) my sister and her boyfriend named her that and from now on we're calling her Alla. i objected at first. i want her nickname to be Lala or something else other than Alla. mapilit eh. oh, she also likes being with people! she loves us already, she always follows me and my sister around wherever we go! she doesn't have long hair yet because she's only 3 months young.

she's so adorable!!! we gave her a bath earlier and we brushed her hair. she's a spoiled puppy. my sister brought her a brush and it's freaking 200 bucks! the brush i use is only 54 bucks! spoiled, huh? :P

er, you didn't actually think that this post was about a boy, did you?


hay. i can look forward to staying home more now :)

study break of a busy bee

i'm taking a break from studying for my STS long exam tomorrow. i don't think i will be sleeping tonight.

next week is packed with exams:
saturday- NSTP quiz
monday - math exam
friday - geology long exam

see? then there are papers to finish too plus a pending arcticle for my news in the next issue of the school paper. how am i going to beat the deadline with a crazy schedule? apple is right. we were blessed with good professors and fun classes but the workload is too heavy that it's really intoxicating us. bye bye, social life. hello, nerdoks. so anyway, the only thing i'm looking forward for the next couple of days within this week is a package that my parents sent.

break time if over. back to the books.

insignificant rants, you have been warned

i'm a sucker for sappy love songs, particulary those of the lyrics which i can relate with. i like moping around in my room, locked up with the speakers on full blast. yes, that is self-isolation at its best.

so anyway, can somebody please stop time? i don't want to go into another hellish school week again. i need to get away from schoolwork even for just a while. i can't wait till semestral break. can anyone please stop time so that i won't have to go to school just yet tomorrow?

obviously, i have no significant things to say. just that i spent the whole weekend moping, listening to sappy love songs, and flipping over old books and magazines. today, though... i did something productive: went to the mall and had the pictures (refer to post down below) printed. they look great! i love how they turned out. i'm definitely going back to get some digital pictures printed because they turned out crisp and clear, just like the results you'd have if you get a film developed.

i need to go to bed because i have to rise at 4 AM tomorrow. i hate school. oh, did i say that already? well, let me say it again: I HATE SCHOOL.

occasional bumming is good

i didn't do anything today but binge on junk food, watch tv, and take cat naps. that's the life of a genuine bum. but that's only for today. i'm going to start doing things that need to be done tomorrow like print the pictures for the mini photo exhibit for history class (refer to pictures down below), jump start on STS review (err, yeah right), and organize my STS and POLSCI160 readings (they're scattered).

it feels weird to just bum at home. my mind was never at ease the whole day. i always felt like i should be doing something other than lock myself up in the room and glue my eyes on the tv although there weren't any good shows on tv except for the swimming competition at the Olympics and Liar Liar on tv. i was pretty happy, though. i need a break. i can't believe that we're only a month away from the long-awaited 1 month semestral break. but of course, before heaven one must go through hell (exam week) first. grrr.

i'm going to log off now and maybe edit the photos a little and then go to bed.

Old Manila (history buff strikes again)

in our frantic search for something to present for our report on HIST160 and after hours of deliberating what to do on monday at the cafeteria, my groupmates and i finally came to a conclusion that we should present a mini photo exhibit instead. fate was on my side because i brought my digicam with me to school just because. aren't we lucky? so off we went to Intramuros- the "walled city" during the Spanish times. the Spaniards built walls around the city where the Spaniard elite lived, secluded from the native Filipinos and for the protection of the city from enemies/invaders. the gates of the "walled city" closed at 6 PM and opens at 6 AM to let the "outsiders" in.

in Intramuros, you will also find the famous Manila Cathedral and the San Agustin Church. if you haven't been here yet, well, you should. today was a lucky day for my group mates and i because as we were walking to San Agustin Church, we stopped at the atrium of the church mesmerized by the old stone house in front of the church's compound. the architecture was definitely Spanish. then there were Filipino guys dressed as guardia sibil (old Spanish guard) so we went up to them and asked permission if we could take pictures. then we discovered that the old house was actually a small museum! it's actually an old house of the gobernadorcillio of Intramuros. the house is huge and all the furnitures inside which our professor taught us were in there. too bad i couldn't take any pictures.

it felt like stepping back into time. i love learning about our heritage, our past. Intramuros is such a lovely place and i'm going to go back and pay a visit to Fort Santiago because the last time i was there was in 5th grade. oh, i also saw the Manila Cathedral too. for the first time. i want to get married there and have my wedding reception at one of the old stone houses that accomodates wedding receptions as well :) hay. it's so me! the place is so me!

okay enough of my history geekiness. here are the pictures for the photo exhibit.

this is the famous Manila Cathedral. the photo would've been perfect if the trees in front weren't getting in the way. nevertheless, this is my favorite picture.

wow. aren't you glad you were born a Filipino? these picture are overwhelming because i still remember the place clearly. i just ♥ history!!!

good news, i killed the virus that infected the worm and shooed it away from my system! yey! i promise to take care of this big machine from now on. i can now print!! :)

Gail, live from IMS computer lab

darn. i'm sleepy and i can't believe that this is just the first period. still 9 hours to go before i go home and sleep. POLSCI160 class and my case study/reporting in less than two hours but i'm online instead, procrastinating. i feel that i've read all the articles and theories on Cyberdemocrcy. i'm quite prepared, if i may say so myself, but knowing myself, i'm usually paranoid before a report or case study. i'm like a frantic mad woman with butterflies inside her tummies. i can't wait for tomorrow- Saturday. i'll be bumming at home (i seem to have lost my social life outside school) and watching tv. i'll try to ignore the aroma i'm smelling right now, fresh hot steaming cup of coffee from outside this computer lab. yesterday while i had a 4 hour vacancy before the staff meeting, i was supposed to walk to Bay Walk and take pictures of the view there. but i forgot my digicam so yes, mitchie and i stayed at the Kule office instead.

this is an insignificant post. i'm just bored and i feel the need to rant. i think i should log off now and go through my notes and readings for the case study. i don't want to look silly when i face my classmates. yikes! i can feel it again! the butterflies!

that side of The Mall

if there's one mall that's infested with pedophiles and perverts (both Filipinos and foreigners alike) then it would probably be Robinson's Place, Ermita.

to think that i hang out there often. of course, this is because i have no choice. where else can you get decent lunch? yes, there is the cafeteria but it's usually infested with freshies, sophies, and seniors, all cramming their schoolwork in the cafeteria when they can go to the library instead. i guess it's because they're "allergic" to that place. the air inside is so thick and dusty that you can't breathe.

so anyway, back to my original story. you see, i was there again today. a friend and i had to meet up with a co-writer for the school paper to buy our batch project. we hung out for a while until we decided to go to the National Bookstore. while we were in line because i was going to pay for my purchase, these two tall caucasians (nevermind the particular nationality, you might think i am biased) intentionally bumped our sophie co-worker who was wearing a mini-skirt. then they kept moving their hands so that it would look accidental. our sophie friend told mitchie and i about it after the two perverts were gone. this is case #1.

case #2 - on our way outside the mall, we passed by Starbucks and there was this Caucasian old man sipping his coffee while his Filipina girl friend stared at her untouched ensaymada. the old man didn't even treat her like she was there. at all. the little girl looked so young (God, i hope i'm wrong), around 16-19 years old probably. but that's just sad because she can be in school right now studying or working if she doesn't have the money to pay for her education.

case #3 - some time back around 2 months ago, our staff meeting ended REALLY late. i was forced to go to the Pedro Gil wing of the mall because my sister was going to pick me up in front of Starbucks. if you've never been to Robinson's Ermita at 9 PM, you'll be pretty shocked (like i was). there were a lot of caucasians and asian foreigners with their Filipina girl friends. these perverts like hanging out at the coffee shops where they can pick their choices.

so i was standing beside the railings at the entrance of the mall when this old caucasian man came up to me mumbling something with a very low voice. while he was coming closer, i stared at him with piercing eyes and walked (practically ran) away. goosebumps, dude! goosebumps! then i was informed that the railing was "the place" to pick-up Filipinas. grosss!

case # 4 - while mitchie and i were at Ice Monster, we both picked up our orders at the counter. then this OLD Japanese guy came up to us and pointed his finger on mitchie's file case. "Are you from UP?" (with his Jap accent) then i answered, "er, yes." i was about to tell him that he was occupying our seats. then he went, "i sit here because i look after your things." we were supposed to say thank you but he didn't leave! then he said, "it's okay you sit here." uh, no thanks. so mitchie and i looked for another table instead.

on ordinary days you'll see a lot of foreigners with their filipina counterparts. it's good if they're together out of love or whatever it is but if it's prostitution that i'm seeing everyday at that mall, then it's sad.

i wasn't surprised when i got a message from Friendster:

hello, i am ________ from Argentina. i am now in Manila. if you want to meet
or have coffee just message me.

he's 47 and married for crying out loud!!! even if he's not, i have no intention of meeting up with someone i don't know. maybe it's the bad preception of foreigners on Filipinas. they think that we're easy to get and we jump in elation whenever foreigners give us the eye. well, excuse me. we have brains too and we're not THAT desperate for moolah.

i just hope we could enlighten the other Filipinas out there that money doesn't just come from their foreigner boyfriends. there are jobs. we are given choices. i hope they pick another way to earn money.

tara na, biyahe tayo!

i like to travel and road trips are the bomb :) it always makes me happy and i'm always game to go beach hopping or just go out of town. it's a great way to unwind and relax, leaving worries behind even for just a while. the past summer (2004) was the best summer i've had so far. it was so much fun, roadtripping and all (to think that i was juggling summer classes at the same time!).

baguio - i went there with friends :) it was fun while it lasted. food tripped like there was no tomorrow and basically tried to take in the beauty of nature, away from the hustle and bustle of manila. although it's quite sad that Baguio City is also becoming as urbanized as Manila in terms of malls and the population! it's getting crowded up there.

mt. banahaw, quezon - this trip was for my PI100 class. we visited the Rizalistas up there and went to the river where you had to take deadly (and very steep!!) stone steps to get there. it was fun although i chose not to join my classmates while they splashed in the river. the steps. wow. i won't forget those steps because they're so high and slippery that you'd think you'd fall down head first. i got dizzy climbing back up because of lack of oxygen. the place was so province-like with lots of trees and all. people there are hospitable too.

Nasugbu, Batangas - super fun! lots of swimming and just plain bonding with the beach! i'm a sucker for sun, sand, and the sea :) we dropped by Tagaytay on the way back home. super fuun!

Subic Bay - again, swimming :) yey! no wonder i still have tan lines from all that swimming.

Pangasinan - swimming at Leisure Coast. that summer i thought i was going to turn into a fish from all that swimming haha! :P

Tagaytay - sight-seeing and a lot of hanging out. sadly, there were no pictures of that time. but there are good memories to cherish anyhow :)

so anyway... pictures :)

baguio

Mt. Banahaw, Quezon province



White Cove, Nasugbu, Batangas


Subic Bay


Pangasinan

see? i think every Filipino should learn to appreciate the Philippines before seeing the world. really. our country has so much beauty and it's just a matter of giving it a chance of proving itself. i loved the road trips and the out-of-town trips.

i hope next summer i will be able to have that much fun again. :)

book review

i am what you would call a "book person". down below are my recent favorites. the others, i will rant about next time because my list of favorite books is a long one.

Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson

I loved this book. I remember wanting to get my hands on a hardbound copy while i was summer vacationing in Abu Dhabi but i got Amy Tan's The Bonesetter's Daughter instead. so anyway, when i got home i saw a couple of copies at the local bookstore but i ignored it, thinking that this book was probably boring. but a couple of months ago i heard good feedbacks regarding the book and when i went back to the bookstore it was no longer there. no copies were available, for crying out loud. 2 weeks ago, however, i went to the Powerbooks sale. i came across a bookshelf with Patterson's novels. so i tried looking for this book but it wasn't there. i think fate must've pitied me because out of nowehere, i moved one book on the shelf and a copy of this book was neatly tucked away from prying eyes! my theory is that someone must've hid it there and he/she would come back to buy it but err, i bought it.

the book is really a page-turner if you're a hopeless romantic like i am. it's about a young mother writing a diary for her son Nicholas. she told him of her joys and woes, her love story with Nicholas's father, and her life in general. it was heartwarming and while i was reading the book i told myself, "i want to write a diary in the future when i have my own child." i think the idea is really brilliant. it's about the love of a family for each other and finding happiness in a home. plus, it's all about love.

The Da Vinci Code Dan Brown

i heard about this book from a couple of friends online. they kept ranting about how their parents didn't want them to read the book because it's demonic and then there were good feedbacks too. so i got it. it's a great book. you should be open-minded enough to read this because the book touches on sensitive issues on Catholicism. i like the twists and the book is not just a novel but it informs its readers as well. like the origins of some symbols (it even explains where the term "horny" came from). it's entertaining in such a way that the reader will be so drawn to the ending, the solution to the mystery, that it robbed me of good nights' sleep. i did not want to put the book down until i found out the ending because you'll never guess what happens next!

Angels and Demons Dan Brown

i liked its sequel The Da Vinci Code so much so i bought the prequel. it's about another of Robert Langdon's adventures solving another mystery, this time in Rome at the famous Vatican City. i haven't finished this yet. the part where i was disappointed was when the novel started on the same track as with The Da Vinci Code. the story moves slowly too but i like the theory on anti-matter. i won't elaborate any further because it might spoil the novel for those who are planning to read this. it's a good read too! i stopped reading it for now because i'm busy with school and all but yes, it's a good read. only, i liked the sequel more than this book.

the next book i want to get is The Lovely Bones. hopefully next week or after my 2 exams :) sorry if this is an uninteresting post. it might help other bookworms out there and it might bore the non-readers :)