Life Can Be Beautiful

I think this is the point of my life when I want to try out everything that I should try out. "No guts, no glory", they say. No, I'm not talking about drugs or whatever. I'm talking about bigger, better things that could determine my career. I don't want to look back when I'm old and gray and think of the what-could-have-beens. I'm sure it's pretty heartbreaking.

The 20s is the decade where I'll probably have the most fun-- life-planning/career-planningwise. The fun part probably ended in college. That doesn't mean that the fun part will never come back now that another life is beginning. The fun part is always waiting for me around the corner because I have awesome friends and new ones that I'm starting to get to know. The thing is, the 20s is where we all begin to think how we'd want our lives to turn out. I'm scared shit of going through new things and leaving old things behind. Closing chapters is a sad thing to do. Saying goodbye to an old life and hello to a new life is quite petrifying. But the world works how it works and I think I like how I'm beginning to grow up.

Not being able to graduate on time (no thanks to math but that's another story for another blog post...) was a blessing, in a way. It was as if life gave me an extra year to re-think what I'd want to do with my life, it gave me more time to mature (seriously, if I had graduated on time, I probably wouldn't have known what to do with myself), and it gave me more time to enjoy life as a student. Idealists and moralists (or are they the same?) may raise eyebrows and say that not graduating on time is a no-no. It's part of a huge failure-- a dent in a perfect world. But perfect for me is not hurrying life. I'm still young and there's still the whole world out there waiting for me. I know someone like me who should've graduated a long time but because he doesn't want to go out into the world yet, he keeps filing for Leave of Absence just to delay the graduation. I think I'm ready. What Simoun said to me was right, something about the world/God delaying you to get to the finish line because you aren't ready yet and we get to the finish line when we're ready. Sometimes we don't even notice what's happening but when the right time comes, we realize that what was a FAILURE before was a BLESSING afterall because from FAILURES come WINDOWS OF OPPORTUNITIES. When the right time comes and we're already butterflies ready to fly into the world, we become excited and no longer scared of what is to come.

And that, for me, is the beauty of life. The excitement of not knowing what's waiting out there, the forks in the road and the choices that we have to make, count in the mistakes and more mishaps that we will encounter along the way, they are all a part of a GREAT BIG PLAN that moulds us into what we are about to become. The heartaches, triumphs, disappointments and all, I guess they're all part of the ride.

And the finish line has finally come (though not official yet) and I have my math professors who failed me in college to thank and friends that I met along the way that made all the heartaches and failures worth it for simply being there.

AND I FEEL LIKE SHOUTING TO EVERYONE: YESSSSS! MY TRANSCRIPT IS NOT PERFECT. I HAVE FAILING GRADES IN MATH. ONLY IN MATH. AND I'M DAMN PROUD OF BEING SLOOWWWW IN MATH. WHEEEE!

The past part is that it's all behind me now-- the heartaches, the bawling over not graduating on time, and the self-pity. When I was at that stage, I told myself that someday I'm going to look back and smile because it's all over. And I'm already in that stage!!! It's all behind me now. I'm glad I didn't give up and I couldn't be happier.

On the lighter note, I painted my nails red and my father hates it. HAHA! According to his words, "Bad trip". HAHAHA!



I am aware that I spelled it as "DIDN'" without the "T". It was a mistake, okay. Call the spelling police if you have a problem with that. HAHA! Defensive, much? :P