it's Friday i'm in love (with books...)

new template. did it last night... er, this morning because i had nothing better to do. the quote up there is from the best tv show ever aired... My So-Called Life starring Claire Danes as the artifical red-headed angst-ridden Angela Chase. she was my heroine during my i'm-an-angry-and-insecure-highschool-girl-don't-talk-to-me days. i guess the reason why i loved the show to pieces is that it pretty much summed up teenage years-- all the angst, the insecurities, the drama, the pseudo relationships we liked to call "love", friendships, relationships with parents... as in EVERYTHING. i'd get the whole set of dvds of it if only they were available here in the Philippines. i can order it at Amazon but i don't have a credit card. boohoo. maybe next time. so yeah, that quote up there is the quote i like best of all the lines in the show.

i'm like that, in a away. i'm insecure. i hate myself sometimes. sometimes it feels like high school all over again. the only difference now is that i care less of how other people are better than me and even lesser of what people think of me. the thing i like about being insecure is that once in a while, like Angela Chase, i am able to appreciate myself and actually feel "beautiful". not just in the physical sense but beautiful in a deeper sense like from the inside. i've long ago learned that wearing a pretty face just not justify the essence of beauty. you have to have a beautiful soul too. you can't just be pretty and let beauty stop there. people can be beautiful when they are able to light up souls that need cheering up... when they are able to connect with people... show their true colors... be a genuine person free from masks... the list goes on.

so anyway before i get carried away...

i told myself after my right jaw swelled that i'd never step out of the house until i look normal. trust me, it still looks freaky. i might as well join the circus if it won't return to normal but since i went to school with a white cap and a hanky covering the swelling (hey! i had no choice it was enrollment!), i started to sort-of not care about going out. besides, the white cap does the trick. it hides my face (hehe) and the hanky is quite tricky because my arm gets strained after a long day but it's still worth the hassle. i get to go out.

first my sister and i went to the mall because my mother was going to go grocery shopping. the only reason i tagged along was because i wanted to get books to read. after much debate with myself (mentally, of course), i finally marched up to the shelf where The Bridge of San Luis Rey (Thornton Wilder) was and then almost got dizzy searching for copies of The Second Summer of the Sisterhood (Ann Brashares). you probably know how bad the service at National Bookstore is (bad isn't even the right word...). too bad there's no Powerbooks branch at QC. maybe i should write to them. anyway, i looked for a saleslady and with a wrinkle on her forehead, she looked like i bothered her from whatever she was doing. i asked for the copy of the book. good thing she helped me out even though she referred to the book as "The Summer of the Sister" (ano daw?). when she asked sales lady No.2, they seem to have understood each other because sales lady NO.2 directed me to the New Titles shelf. hayy. anyway, i got the last copy of the book! considering the stacks i saw about more than a week ago, it must be pretty in-demand. lucky me! so fly away my money went. my sister was advising me to buy just one book first but i couldn't let go of any of them because i've been waiting too long a time to get them both. besides, books make me happy. reading takes my mind to places. so the money spent was well worth it.

now my sister and i have a bagful of junkfood (i'm not into chips but i don't know why there's too much in the bag). i got Raisinets too after so long! after my mother did her grocery shopping, we passed by Dunkin Donuts (literally) and i love how Dunkin Donuts smell-- donuts + coffee. it was heaven. but the take-out lines were too long. i wanted a mocha freeze (do they still sell that?) because i wanted coffee but we were in a hurry to go home. ah well.

my father's arriving on wednesday. we planned on having a family lunch after we pick him up from the airport but i remembered that orientation for OJT starts on Monday onwards so boohoo for me. my father ordered (hehe) for us to be complete when we pick him up because according to him, he misses us a lot (er, when did we last see each other... a month and a half? two months ago? hehe).

i'm off. the weekend before OJT. argh. somebody please stop time.

now playing: Wayne Wonder's "Hold Me Now" from the 50 First Dates soundtrack. (i heart this song.)

______________________

edit @ 3:35AM 3:35am. lights off. living room. cold. still awake. Rod Stewart's The Way You Look Tonight in the background. i just love this song.

time stops right after midnight. i swear it does.

i'm surfing the Havaianas website and saw the black ones i want to get. no wait. i want them in all colors. too bad i'm almost broke until next week wednesday. i told myself before that i'd never get a pair of ridiculously priced tsinelas but what can i say? damn consumerism.

saw this video of a remake of You've Got a Friend by a band called McFly. it was an interesting music video because it featured the poor children of Uganda (i did my research). the band themselves went to Uganda and sort of reached out for the kids. there was a scene when a band member brokedown into tears after he left a hospital with sick children. lateron i found out that McFly gave the profit of that album to Comic Relief and to the children of Uganda.

i think "You've Got a Friend" is the perfect song to sing to children especially the less fortunate ones. the video broke my heart but made me happy at the same time. i'd love to sing that song to them.

You just call out my name
and you'll know wherever i am...
i'll coming running to see you again.
winter, spring, summer or fall
all you've got to do is call
and i'll be there yes i will
you've got a friend.

it's not only a good song for reaching out... it was also my high school graduation song.

i wonder why these bands don't make it to the big scene when they're playing their music for a cause. a good one at that. i'll never understand the ways of the world.

i'll go to bed now. *yawn*