make me smile

hello. you, yes you!

for a time now, i've been really curious to know who reads my blog. afterall, it is public. i've been checking my sitemeter and looks like i get hits from a lot of people but i don't get comments so... here's your chance :)

tag the comment link below. you can say anything. i just want to have an idea who reads my blog. pretty please drop a line after you read this.

:)

survey time (i'm bored)

copied form Marla's Livejournal.

A is for Age: 19
B is for boyfriend: non-existent
C is for career: none
D is for Dad's name: Socrates (yes, like the philosopher)
E is for Essential item to bring to a party: tequila
F is for favorite song at the moment: With or Without You - U2 (among many)
G is for girlfriend: i love my girl space friends
H is for Hometown: Quezon City
I is for Instrument(s) you play: the piano
J is for Jam or jelly you like: strawberry jam on buttered toast!
K is for kids: i love kids both the behaved and boisterous ones
L is for Living arrangements: i go home everyday even if my school's an hour away
M is for Mom's name: Elizabeth
N is for name of best friends: too many :)
O is for overnight hospital stays: 5th grade, two times. spent my birthday on dextrose. was discharged only for the raging fever to come back. got confined again.
P is for Phobias: heights! anything that involves heights!
Q is Quote you like: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -- Mark Twain
R is Relationship that lasted the longest: three years
S is for Secret never told: it's a secret. why should i tell?
T is for Time you wake up: around 9am. 11am, the latest.
U is for Unique trait: i can laugh and cry at the same time (is this unique?)
V is for Vegetable you like: potatoes, cabbage, and eggplant
W is for What Bothers You Most: school, among many other things.
X is for X-rays you've had: a lot. we have them yearly for school enrollment.
Y is for Yummy food you make: brownies? hehe
Z is for Zodiac: Leo. the fire sign. rawr.

and another one...

1. what kind of first impression do you give?
that i'm talkative because i can't stop talking when i get started with hand gestures and all. they say that i "animatedly" tell stories. heeh :)

2. what's one thing you like to do alone?
listen to music.

3. what is your favorite line to say when your drunk?
"promise, babalik ako. pipikit ko lang mata ko." (and end up waking up the morning after...)

4. how many drinks before you're tipsy?
i have low alcohol tolerance. maybe two bottles of San Mig Light? hehe or four shots of tequila.

5. do you ever have to beg?
for permission to go on out-of-town trips, yes.

6. what kind of books do you like to read?
a little bit of everything. whatever's a good read.

7. do you think you're cute?
no.

8. do you have a problem changing clothes in front of your friends?
yes unless they're girls

9. favorite communication method?
snail mails, YM, and emails

10. do you care?
a lot

11. what do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
chocolate ice cream, candy bars, or peanut butter on a toast


12. if you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
i don't know, my nose maybe?

13. describe your bed?
it's always made

14. spontaneous or planned?
spontaneous when going on road-trips or out-of-town trips... planned when it comes to school stuff

15. do you know how to play poker?
nope

16. what do you carry with you at all times?
cellphone, digicam, baby powder, baby cologne, ipod, khaki messenger bag

17. what do you miss most about being little?
not worrying. playing all day. quality time with the whole family. weekend movies. traveling. everything about my childhood, basically.

18. are you happy with your given name?
yup!

19. how much would it take to give up the internet for 1 year?
it's like asking me not to breathe for a day.

20. what color is your bedroom?
white

21. have you ever been in a play?
yes. it was in grade school and i was the parrot. hehe.

22. do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
sometimes. i tend to hate myself when i can't live up to my expectations.


23. do homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
they do if they have a choice to not be in the streets like get a job instead of relying on other people for their living because they're physically fit.


24. do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
i guess so.

25. do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?
i spend more time with my friends because i don't have a boyfriend hehe.

26. what's one thing you wish you could do but can't?
forget school and go backpacking in Europe just by myself or with someone special.

27. what is your ideal marriage location?
in a church, preferrably a historical one just like the Manila Cathedral or somewhere older.

28. what instruments do you wish you could play?
the violin and the guitar


29. something you love and hate?
my life

30. whats one language you want to learn?
French, Niponggo, and Spanish

31. what do you order at a bar?
Sizzling gambas, sisig, and beer (or iced tea).

32. have you ever pierced your body parts?
just both my earlobes

33. do you have any tattoos?
wish i had one

34. would you admit to getting plastic surgery if confronted?
i guess, if it's free and free from pain too. hehe

35. what traits do you hate in a person?
being such a user, a hypocrite, and a player.

36. do you consider yourself materialistic?
i guess

37. what do you cook best?
picadillo

38. do you cry in front of your friends?
oh yes. i don't care. hehe

To Kill a Mockingbird (Harper Lee)

finished to kill a mockingbird last night. wow. i ♥ Atticus! he's the epitome of a perfect father. Jean Louise Finch is also a cute little girl and a smart one at that. she's inquisitive and smart that you'll find her irresistible. she has a mentality that's mature for her age and her tomboyishness is also funny because she refuses to act like a lady just like what her Aunt Alexandra wants her to become.

she reminds me of myself, in a way. i was as tomboy as she was while i was growing up. i'd stay out in the sun all day playing until the sun finally set. i climbed trees, scraped my knees, and splashed my feet in puddles of mud while it rained. my mother would scold me each time i soiled my clothes. at the start of the day i'd smell fresh of baby cologne but by dinnertime or merienda, i'd already smell of sweat and baby powder combined. at school, i'd always get into accidents-- knee injuries, broken bones, and other scratches on my skin because i always played with boys. i fought with them a mighty lot too. i was hard-headed that way but i don't regret a single thing because i had fun being a child. well, just one regret: my one-inch horizontal scar on my right elbow which once had 7 stitches to close the cut. i was a princess for one week-- they had to feed me and i was pulled out of school for the whole week because i couldn't write.

like Jean Louise, i was also close to my older sibling (only... she's a girl). i followed my sister like i was her tail and i practically worshipped the ground she walked on. we were playmates but by the time she was almost in her puberty stage, she started to become grouchy. she no longer wanted to play with me and stayed mostly indoors instead. i'd get angry at her too if she'd lecture on me whenever i did something as silly as capture a very green grasshopper and slip it into a jar.

for my fondness for Jean Louise Finch, i've decided to name my first daughter "Jean Louise" hoping that she'd be as smart, adorable, and playful as she is.

lastly, Atticus Finch and Jean Louise's father-daughter relationship reminded me of my own relationship with my father.

To Kill a Mockingbird captured my childhood. i had never-ending questions on the little things and my father tried his very best to explain things that i could not understand.

the best part of the book are the lessons on justice as the book centered on the injustices of the white over the black Americans.

through children's eyes, they saw the unfair treatment of people on the African Americans and questioned while the world was unfair-- why justice wasn't granted to those who were oppressed. through a child's mind that isn't contaminated yet with harsh elements that contaminates people's thoughts... an adult would come to realize their wrongdoings if only they listened more to children.

i personally think that children should be put into government positions and in the justice system as well to abolish the rotting system of governance in the country. what a peaceful world it would be!

+

i'm at my grandparents' house. i brought the laptop with me just so i could get things done like the nstp reviewer. the only problem is that i forgot the address of the yahoo group which i am still not a member of. *groans*.

i'll be staying here for the night until tomorrow when i have to go back home so i could meet with apple and van. we're going to finalize the scrapbook so we could have it bound already. too many things to do in so little time. i realized earlier while staring at the SOCSCI120 readers that i have too many papers to review and i haven't even started yet.

three more exams to go. i envy the lot of you who are on your summer vacation as i type this. argh. the world is unfair. sigh

today wasn't so bad

new blog skin for summer. when i look at the theme, i feel like i want to pack my bags right away and go to the beach. i want to feel the coarse texture of the grains of sand under my feet. i love how they feel cold as i dig my toes into it. one time during a beach trip at Subic, i wandered away from the group and laid down on the sand. i dug my toes into it and looked up to the sky. the sun was so bright that i had to squint. it almost hurt to look up but i couldn't help myself from wanting to watch the sky especially in a beautiful place-- the sea. i felt at rest there. it was as if time stopped and the sound of the waves crashing to the shore was like music to my ears. i felt like i could stay that way forever.

so yes, because of my love for the sea and for summer, this is my little tribute to myself. a beach layout.

anyway...

The Five People You Meet in Heaven. wow. no words. i love the book. every sentence. every word. it inspired me to create a blog for the favorite book quotes i come across (http://book-quotes.blogspot.com). i'm speechless.

The Bell Jar finished it this morning. love the book too! now both books are on my "favorites" list :) i want to get a copy of Plath's journal or a copy of her autobiography.

ordered Girl, Interrupted online at Books For Less. i'm going to expect a call as soon as Holy Week is over. :)

two books in two days. not bad. books can really change your view on things. some can even change your life.

_________________________

i went to mass earlier. it was held around 5.30pm outside the church. i loved the cool breeze and the gospel for today's mass was also meaningful. it fit that hole inside my heart-- it was a lesson on forgiveness. just what i needed for the day.

plus, the choir sang my favorite church song:

Panunumpa Sa Pagiging Bukas Palad

Panginoon, turuan Mo ako maging bukas-palad
Turuan Mo akong maglingkod sa Iyo
Na magbigay nang ayon sa nararapat
Na walang hinihintay mula sa 'Yo

Nang makibakang di inaalintana
Mga hirap na dinaranas
Sa tuwina'y magsumikap na hindi humahanap
Ng kapalit na kaginhawaan
Na 'di naghihintay kundi ang aking mabatid
Na ang loob Mo'y siyang sinusundan

Panginoon, turuan Mo ako maging bukas-palad
Turun Mo akong maglingkod sa Iyo
Na magbigay nang ayon sa nararapat
Na walang hinihintay mula sa 'Yo

have a restful Holy Week!

the perks of being nocturnal

i hate it when i feel like complaining that i'm bored especially in an ungodly hour such as this. yes, i am sleepy already but i feel like making the most out of the short Holy Week break before i go back to school for exams.

if i were an animal, i'd probably be the nocturnal kind. i like nights especially when i'm the only person awake. i used to go stargazing while seated on the cold cemented ground in front of the house. i'd stare at the navy blue skie and admire the stars. i'd sit there for an hour, hugging my knees and let the peacefulness of my surrounding envelope me. i enjoy serene moments so much. they are precious to me.

i thought about taking star gazing seriously once but never got around doing so (or maybe because the equipment is just too expensive). there's something peaceful about the sky be it night or day. sky gazing makes me wish that i knew how to fly so that i'd be off playing with clouds or star gaze from there. but that's just wishful thinking. someday i'll make a purchase of a telescope and maybe if i'm lucky, i'll watch stars fall from the sky just as Tristan Thorn did in Neil Gaiman's Stardust. only, i wouldn't be as crazy as he was when he tried following the fallen star just to prove his love for a lady, even risking his life crossing the border from his village to Faerie. although i must admit that it's a pretty romantic thing to do to prove your love for someone.

now i'm inspired to finish the rest of the book.

i'm almost done with The Bell Jar (Sylvia Plath). spent the entire day reading it. the book went with me everywhere around the house. i fell asleep in the afternoon with the book on top of my chest and when i woke up, i continued devouring every single page hungrily. i think it's quite refreshing to read something that depicted reality rather than read novels that have happy endings and perfect storylines all the time. i'm about three chapters away from finishing it. if i could pick out the best quotes, i'd quote the whole book because everything that was written by Plath was genuine and realistic. i feel her pain, her depression, her feeling of failure and her loneliness. that's how the book got to me and thinking about how she ended her life makes me depressed. she had such great talent.

three more up next:



oh, look at these pictures. we bought amidala her little bed a month ago and obviously, she's very "at home" already:


what a chubby non-shih tzu looking puppy!

have a restful Holy Week everyone and may we all be reminded by what He did for us.

where am i going?

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
Where there is sadness, joy.
--- St. Francis of Assisi

i might give up the Banawe trip for something better. afterall, i did say that i'll offer my life to Him. :)

__________

you! yes, you! feel free to kidnap me and fly me to New York or Europe. i will gladly oblige and you will forever be my friend.

Death song

Van believes that i have a fascination for Death subconsciously. she said this because i talked to her about a plane crash as we were taking off for Palawan weeks ago. when we were about to land, i shared with her a funny experience two years ago on my flight to the UAE. you see, i bought a book and it didn't occur to me that it was supposed to scare me because the title was The Pilot's Wife (Anita Shreve). it was about a plane crash. a bomb exploded in the plane en route to Ireland and there were no survivors. now who would read a book on a plane crash while on an 8-hour direct flight from Manila to the Middle East? only i would. hehe.

no, i'm not suicidal. i'm not a goth either. it just fascinates me because what's beyond this life is a mystery to me although i defintely believe in Heaven and Hell. maybe i'm just a living proof of Freud's theory that people subconsciously think about death. if you haven't met me in person, you'd think i'm a depressed Valium-taking 19 year old. no. i am a happy person which is why it's ironic that i have a fascination for Death when i'm happy most of the time. ah, the ironies of life.

i love this poem by one of my favorite poets, Christina Georgina Rosetti. one of my favorites:

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:

Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:

And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget .
-"Song", Christina Georgina Rosetti

the last stanza is my favorite in the poem.

must scram now. i have another exam tomorrow. *pulls hair*. while everyone i know rant about the start of summer vacation for them, i pull out my readers and dermatograph to TRY to study. vacation seems too far from where i am. i have to go back after Holy Week for two more exams. one of which is SOCSCI120. my notes are still incomplete. only God can help me. sigh. i hate it when stress builds up at the end of the academic year and we, students, scramble like tiny working ants on a hot summer's day.

professors are slave drivers, i swear.

cameraphone photo collages

Viva Palawan! :)

the week in pictures. left-right, top-bottom:
1. my baby picture from my baby book that i found last night.
2. the "Believe!" patch from my black messenger bag.
3. half-eaten sweet corn from this afternoon. like my mother, i love corn!
4. Sunday morning before mass.
5. the jade ring that my mother gave me. supposedly for good luck.
6. "Viva Muerto Ambre!" do your research. it's an inside joke of my school friends and i.
7. reviewing yesterday.
8. my planner with lots of post-its on things to do for school. rawr.
9. i was bored while studying last night. scribbled motivational words last night on the openning of my planner.
10. hugging frogs clinging onto my reading lamp. these were freebies from Saisaki.
11. the profile page for our SOCSCI120 compilation. heeh :P
12. reviewing with the pink highlighter i despise. my dermatograph was nowhere in sight and the pink ink made my eyes hurt.

palm sunday

last night i stayed up until 3.30am watching movies while studying. Sabrina. such a great movie and the movie had to end in Paris. sigh. harrison ford was charming in an arrogant kind of way. i was gushing and squirming in delight while watching the movie which made me thank my lucky stars that it was past midnight and i was the only one awake.

then i watched a walk to remember for the third time. as usual, i enjoyed it again and cried alone. i wasn't able to enjoy the film the first time i saw it because i was too busy criticizing the film and comparing it with the novel. the next two times i saw it, i already forgot the details in the book so appreciated the movie. sigh. yesterday, there was mush overload in the living room. but over Lindt Noir chocolate and a few glances on my notes... i enjoyed bonding with myself.

i even downloaded mp3s of Mandy Moore's Cry and New Radical's Someday We'll Know. just shoot me. hehe.

did you know that the book was actually inspired by Nicholas Sparks's sister Danielle Sparks who, like Jamie Sullivan, battled cancer at a young age? she was also religious, was not among the "popular kids" in school, fell in love with a popular guy, and like Jamie... battled and died of cancer. Nicholas Sparks based the book on the love story of the two. his sister and the guy got married but Danielle died at the age of 35.

the reason why i like Sparks's novels (for reasons that some people could not understand and sometimes even make fun of..) is that he bases his writing on real life experiences-- things that actually happened to him which is the reason why i find his novels moving.

A Message in a Bottle is also one of my favorites no matter how tragic the ending is.

i realized that if i was in Jamie's shoes, i would not care about some "things" that i worry about today. i would live like she did-- not caring about what other people think of me. i'd live life to the fullest and do what i've always wanted to do. it's like liberating myself and freeing myself from the strings that have been manipulating me like a puppet-- societal norms, people's harsh judgements, and the cruel world, in particular.

i think it's about time i did that. so far, i've taken baby steps into doing what i really want to do. i'm kind of learning to liberate myself from expecting too much from myself because i know that as long as i'm doing what i really like to do, i will be LIVING.

look what i discovered just today: Book Browse and yesterday i browsed Books for Less's website and saw books that i want there for just 200+ pesos like Girl, Interrupted. yey!

fact of life

focus on the trail ahead no matter how rugged the climb
chin up. shoulders back. smile even if the world's unkind.
glory comes to only those who deserve
so aim high no matter how high the peak,
the world only acknowledges those who are strong
never those who are weak.
the rain may fall, the leaves may dry,
the sun may set at the end of the day
it's okay to feel weary and shake your head in dismay.
but life goes on
pick up the pieces and push yourself to succeed,
for gigantic trees that stand up high
all started from tiny seeds.

i feel like crap because it had to rain heavily today and i had to forget my little red umbrella although i knew it might rain. now i have a headache and i feel like i'm going to be sick because i had to run in the rain like a little girl fascinated by splashing her toes into puddles. only, i'm only dramatizing what happened because i didn't splash my toes into the puddles hehe. i did run in the rain, though. during the ride home my eyes were too heavy to stay open so i tried to close them for a while. i ended up taking a shallow nap because i got really dizzy after van and i read the SOCSCI120 profiles while the vehicle was moving. argh.

when i got home i had no appetite so i went straight to bed. ended up sleeping for more than two hours with my head still spinning when i woke up. a cold shower later, i thought i was better but the headache is back and i feel like i'm going to come down with a cold or something. maybe hot chocolate will make me feel better.

three exams next week. three consecutive days. too much to review, too little time. SOCSCI120 make-up class from 1-4pm tomorrow. i don't have enough time to review! now i'm torn between attending the make-up class and start studying instead or to attend the class and kill the guilt of not attending.

i should go now. i feel cold. brr.

the story of an epiphany

over at Daivy's blog, i downloaded her soundclips that she recorded from the Maroon 5 concert. i'm so jealous! Maroon 5 was supposed to have a concert here last year or maybe i just imagined it at the hype of my extreme fanaticism. whatever happened to the plan? her posts inspired me to download "Must Get Out". i love the whole album, Songs About Jane. i also love the cover art of the cd. She Will Be Loved and Sunday Morning.

back to regular programming. my initial purpose for this post is to share with you something very important to me. I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! (hehe). while in Palawan, Van and i joked that the whole trip was "life changing". what she didn't know is that it was LIFE CHANGING, INDEED and i really took it seriously. the trip was an epiphany of some sort. living in the city amid the hustle and bustle of life can be draining and it can take your mind away from the beauty of what there is outside the metro.

a boat ride to the underground river from the wharf at Sabang supposedly takes just 40-minutes. but since the South China Sea was ferocious that morning (I've never seen the sea that scary in my whole life), we were forced to take the 2 hour trek to the underground river. another two-hours back. i was hesistant at first. who wouldn't be? i knew it was going to be really tough especially if the weather wasn't cooperating with us at all! but we chose to go anyway since we were already there and we wouldn't want to miss the heritage site!

the four-hour trek (back and forth from Sabang beach to the Subterranean National Park) made me appreciate nature even more. the sound of waves from the South China Sea down below crashing to the shore as we made our way up a steep hill was a different experience. as we made our way into the jungle, there were animal sounds which i can't explain but it sounded like a song to me as they welcomed people to their territory-- their home. the trees were gigantic with their branches stretching out very far. as apple said, thanks to these trees in the jungle, we were able to trek safely up and down steep, rugged slopes because the bulging roots were our grips as we trekked upwards. the smaller trees also helped us out a lot because we used them as support whenever we climb down or go up a mountain.

another epiphany: when i got back home, i had flashbacks of the hard trek. i got into thinking that climbing up a mountain (or trekking in general) is like life. sometimes the road is smooth, the terrain is neutral. along the trail, there were stone steps and cemented trails where you can relax while walking after a gruesome trek up and down steep slopes. i tell you, it's a treat when you're dead tired and you think you can no longer go on. what's torture is when you're already exhausted and worn out but you know that there's still an hour and a half more to go. the trek back to Sabang was harder because we already knew what hell we had to go through again!

life is like that. sometimes the road is smooth-- there are no ups-and-downs. sometimes life can seem like a walk in the park then there are times when you need to climb up and your perseverance and strength are put to the test. you think to youself that you could no longer go on because you feel tired already and there is no energy left for you to carry the trek. when you think about the difficulties ahead that you have to go through, you'd think that you want to give in the towel and there's no hope for you. you give up. that trek made me see that I CAN DO IT afterall if i put my heart and mind to it.

just like a survivor after a stormy night, you'd think: Wow. I made it through. I didn't think I'd do that! But I'm here! Still in one piece!. that was what i thought after the trek. not in my wildest dreams did i think of jeopardizing my chance to live until i'm in my 80s because before the long trek, we were warned that it was going to be dangerous if it rained. the day was really cloudy and rainy when we got to Sabang in the morning. but we went ahead. For the sake of adventure! Ambet Ocampo said.

i told myself that i'd never go trekking to and from Sabang and the underground river. but upon the realization of how much i changed by that four-hour trek, i think i'd do it again with the right preparation, a bigger bottle of water, insect repellant, sturdy flip-flops, and good company.

From the day we arrive on the planet
And, blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round
It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life

The Circle of Life, The Lion King.


onto some pictures....

Sabang. the beach with the mountains as backdrop. beautiful!


still at Sabang



we had lunch here when we got back. frickin' 5pm!!


follow the leader!!! trekking. on our way to the jungle and up and down two mountains.




Chairman Ambet Ocampo. we were intimidated at first. but he turned out to be really funny :)








the Chairman taking a break!


Chairman Ambet Ocamo, Director Melly Almosara, and Mrs. Belleza (the curator of the Legazpi City museum) taking a breather.


"van! di ko na kayaaaa...."


no Underground River picture here because my digicam's battery died on the way. i do have pictures in my film camera, though. haven't got it developed yet.

when you're at that side of the world, you'd tell yourself how lucky you are to be alive. GOD is THE ARTIST. nature. what can i say? i really want my children to see this part of the world. i want them to climb trees, hear birds sing, and learn to love animals. but it's sad to think what might come in the future if we continue to abuse Nature.

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends
Colors of the Wind, Vanessa Williams (From Pocahontas)

now it's about time i gave something back to Nature because it has been giving a lot to me already. i volunteered for/joined Haribon www.haribon.org.ph in hopes of contributing/helping even in a little way to PROTECT NATURE and PRESERVE LIFE as the organization's tagline says.

this is definitely not a phase. i've been ignoring this all my life. it's time that i actually paid attention.

it is through experiences like these that i feel MOST ALIVE.


P.S. this is my desktop wallpaper as of the moment. download the wallpaper here :) sorry, it's just for desktops with a 1024x768 resolution.

today was pretty fun. when i came home my mother, aunt, and cousin were waiting for me. less than 30 minutes later, we were in the car on our way to makati. my cousin had a presentation thing for a company she's applying for at the Makati Shang. while we waited for her thing to finish, we all met up with my sister and kuya john at glorietta. we went around and had dinner. it was super fun just window shopping. i already have a lot of things that i want like that vintage People Are People shirt, a Lacoste white slip-on, a pair of white Happy Feet, bags, and the list goes on! i also went to Powerbooks to buy The Virgin Suicides but guess what? OUT OF STOCK! i'm really unlucky when it comes to getting me a copy of this book. they always run out of stock! maybe i should call them first before i check or get a copy reserved for me so that the next time i visit, surefire na!

talk about cheap thrills. my sister, mother, and i got Oriental purses and cellphone cases. these are mine:

my new wallet!


cellphone case :)

look! don't they look cute together? meet my sister Gwen and my cousin Anne! the two fresh graduates of 2005! both had job interviews today that's why they look so working girlish hehe!

i'm tired. must go to bed. now. good night.

sherwin called earlier as i was getting ready for mass. he was planning an out-of-town trip to baguio preferably this thursday. when i put down the phone, i was all giddy and excited until i remembered that my exam was moved to friday. plus, when i mentioned the trip to my mother, she already told me that i couldn't go if ever plans push through. didn't debate with her on how safe it was and how many we were going if in case we do go out-of-town because it was going to be pointless. once parents make up their minds, that's the end of discussion. i'm sure you know what i mean. but we'll see. i just have to squeeze in a short trip out of town before OJT starts next month.

for sure i'm going to Banawe to see the famous rice terraces on April 13th for two days. the trip was organized by the same people who organized the Palawan conference. Dr. Boncan invited us if we were interested and of course we are! there are sidetrips to Baguio and Sagada (i think?) too so it's going to be fun.

i haven't had the chance to talk about the conference at Palawan. it was on the "American Legacy in Palawan: With Focus on the Culion Leper Colony and the Iwahig Penal Colony".

before Palawan became famous for its beautiful beaches among other tourist spots, the island was notorious for Culion which was a leper colony during the American period. when the Americans came, leprosy was rampant and we all know that part of the Americans' plan for the Philippines was to improve health conditions. they picked Culion island in Palawan to be the place where lepers around the Philippines would live in isolation. the objectives of the leper colony was positive because by isolating the lepers in an island with complete facilities: a town, recreation center, etc. they get to live a more normal life than live among the non-lepers. plus, they get to be treated. that way, spreading of leprosy could also be controlled. there was a hospital at Culion where nurses and doctors as well as the medical staff were recognized as heroes as they were risking their lives by working on the lepers. lepers were also allowed to wed and when babies were born, they were separated from their parents for five years. these babies lived at a convent with the nuns where they were taken care of until it was safe for them to be returned to their leper parents. Culion was like an ordinary island with a town because people lived normally. they even had their own money! but of course, funding the colony was tight during the American period because maintaining the colony was tedious. the hospital needed supplies for the better living of the lepers. years after, the Philippine General Hospital found a cure for leprosy until the spreading of the disease died down and Culion was free from leprosy. at present, Culion still has a town with people living in the island. but people from Culion (and the rest of Palawan as well) had to deal with the aftermath of their island being a leper colony. people there were looked down on because they had a reputation of being "lepers". at least now, if you've learned of the history of Culion, you'll know that it's leprosy free because there's already a cure and it's totally safe to go there these days. the convent and the hospital are still there. oh, during the American period, there were also non-leper people at Culion. they were separated from the town where the lepers lived. hospital workers were also disinfected properly after their working day at the hospital for safety.

as for the Iwahig Penal Colony, the Americans also put up a prison in Palawan. Iwahig is a vast space of land where prisoners could plant and move freely than just being behind bars all day. if you'd ask me, if i were to commit a crime i'd like to be jailed at Iwahig (yep, it's still penitentiary). when we went on a tour there, there were men hanging out under a shady tree with the mountains as their backdrop. i thought they were care takers or the guards but they turned out to be prisoners! imagine? prisoners hanging out under a shady tree! how cool is that? at least they get to enjoy nature while they serve their term! the tour there was short but meaningful. there are still American-style structures in the vicinity like the Recreation Hall and the Souvenir shop. oh, the office of the head too. but of course, they're already very old. we bought souvenirs there and the profit would go to the prisoners who created the crafts.

so yeah. i realized that you'd appreciate historical places more (or ALL places in general) if you knew their past and listened to their stories. Filipino culture is really rich. it's good to get away from our fast-paced lives once in a while and actually take time to appreciate our heritage. it's like travelling back to time and reliving the past each time you step into a historical site.

the conference was from 8am-5pm with just two 10-minute breaks in between. but would you believe that i honestly didn't get bored? it was that interesting. like i said, you'd appreciate the places more if you did more than sight-seeing.

i'll post pictures when i get the pictures developed.

from the digicam and cameraphone:

the guest speakers...


dr. celestina boncan (UPM)


vanessa fermil (UPM)


Gail Limcumpao (UPM)


oops! uminit ulo!


Mary Rose dela Rosa (UPM)




apple and i engaging in a highly intellectual conversation. mwahaha!

haha! just kidding! only Dr. Boncan's picture there is authentic. mwahaha! van, apol, and i decided to mess around while we were on a break. we sneaked into the conference hall and pretended that we were speakers too! haha! that was hilarious! but don't they look authentic?








more conference pictures...




intermission from PSU students


the speakers

my sister has a job interview on monday and i'm wishing her all the best. i'm even more excited than she is. i even volunteered to lend her money to re-dye her hair because a disaster happened THE DAY BEFORE SHE GRADUATED.

she went with her best friend to the parlor to get her hair dyed. before she came home, she texted my mom telling her not to be angry with her. it turned out that the person who did her hair made a huge mistake and colored her hair a very light brown that it's almost orange. she cried her heart out even more when she got home. i was scared to go downstairs and look at the horror. when i first saw her, my first reaction was "OH SHIT! BAKIT?!". upon realizing how heartless i was and that she was having a hard time digesting the fact that she would march up that stage for her graduation with orange hair, i quickly said sorry. if the air wasn't too thick with tension, i would have joked "wear a wig instead!". but she sobbed for such a long time that it broke our hearts knowing that the next day was supposed to be her very special day and thanks to that so-called hairstylist, her hair was ruined. but her graduation day turned out okay. she took it in and didn't let it stop her from being happy during her graduation. after she shampooed it the next day, it wasn't so light anymore and we all got used to it. but on monday, it's going to be her big day so my mother and i agreed that she should dye her hair to its natural color again so that she'd make a good impression on her interviewers. i might go with her later to the parlor to get the mistake fixed.

isn't it funny how we feel like we're already old enough and that we already consider ourselves "grown-ups" when regardless of our age, we always keep coming back to our families? i'm talking about our parents, in particular. even if we're old enough to make decisions, we still go to ask help from them for even the smallest things as helping you pick out the right outfit for your job interview and pieces of advice on which step to take next after graduation.

i see that in my sister. now matter how mature she is and how adultlike she acts, she always comes back to my mother or father just like she did when she was a little girl crawling her way to adolescence and then to adulthood. i remember the quote that says, "The family- that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to." (Dodie Smith)

that red shiney can of coke that supposedly does not do anything good to your health is the drug that sedates me. it's the only drink next to red bull that keeps me hyper and awake when normally i'd feel sleepy already.

i'm home. finally. after a long day. but i had lots of fun hanging out with van killing time for four hours after classes were dismissed earlier than usual because a professor was absent. we watched Hitch which was very hilarious. at one point, a scene brought tears to my eyes and van and i gushed like normal girls everytime will smith flashed his charming smile. but the movie was great all in all. i'd give it an 8/10 rating because it made me laugh all throughout the movie. if i had a pen and paper i would have jotted down the meaningful quotes like this one:

People take that leap all the while hoping they could fly.
or something like that.

doesn't necessarily apply to love but it can be applied to life in general because in life, we are required to take risks. it's up to us if we chicken out or not.

i have a very husky voice now because van and i screamed like mad while watching the Indayog Dance Varsity's benefit dance concert at the Little Theater today. we even made Apple a banner that said, "Go Apol!". it was crazy, i tell you. we were both embarassed to put the banner up each time apple appeared onstage because we were like crazy fangirls. oh well! anything to support our dear friend. i love my friends more than words. nothing makes me feel better than seeing them happy. friends don't just make good company. they help you grow and make you forget your worries.

on the ride back home, i realized how much i'm really lucky to be here being me. life may not be perfect and i may not be perfect but one thing's for sure, while i may question God sometimes i'm still grateful that i am what i am-- flaws and all. the mere fact that i'm feeling what i'm feeling is already a blessing.

what a great way to wrap up the week :)

i feel like i've been drugged. or maybe it's just because i'm really tired. went around st. luke's the whole day because i met up with my mother and sister after class. i hate going to the hospital because there are too many procedures to follow. anyway, my mother got her eyes lasered (for glucoma, one of the many complications of her diabetes) and she's going to undergo an operation for her uterus because there's a polyp. or something like that. i'm not really good with medical terms. one thing's for sure, she's going to be fine. the polyp should be removed for safety precautions. funny how she reacted earlier after getting the result of her ultrasound. she got really worried because she thought she had cancer. but that wasn't funny at all. it was more than scary.

i was supposed to get my eyes checked but when we got to the doctor's clinic, he was on his way to the operating room. tough luck. i thought i'd get my eyes checked because they hurt and i get dizzy all the time. my eyes get blurry too. sometimes i can only see what's near me. i am nearsighted and i've been wearing glasses since i was 10. only, i'm too hard-headed to wear them ALL THE TIME which is why the glasses for correction have now become permanent because i've shifted from astigmatism to nearsighted. or is it both? from what i know, astigmatism stays forever. i refuse to wear contacts. knowing how responsible i am, i'd probably fall asleep with the contacts on.

i saw my three second cousins. they used to be my neighbors until they moved to canada and my family moved out of the country too. now that they're back, they look so different! maybe because we've all grown up. i look like a midget beside them now. they're so tall! little Tim used to be the baby my sister and i used to play with after school. now he's a talkative eight year old who wants to a cellphone from my mother. cute kid!

dropped by the bookstore too to buy some supplies for school. i saw a cute guy at the cashier. saw him three more times after the bookstore. scary. haha :P

there's this cool shop at the mall called "Simple Things" where they sell Do-It-Yourself stuff like materials for scrapbooks. i know where i can buy supplies for the SOCSCI120 compilation now. whopee.

now i'm dizzy. the dvds of The Phantom of the Opera and Finding Neverland are waiting for me. the books The Bell Jar and Five People You Meet in Heaven too but i think i'll refuse to abuse my eyesight for now. maybe i should go on to bed.

another sunset photo because i can't get enough of the sunset.

i can't think of a decent lay-out so i just changed the color scheme. i'm not in the mood to tweak this blog into an eye-candy so bear with me.

i've started reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven (Mitch Albom). the first part is already depressing. then again, what would you expect? the title itself already gives away the fact that there will be dying in the book. in one of my bookstore escapades, i randomly picked out a book at the Self-Help section. it was a book on preparing to die-- that you shouldn't be afraid of dying but celebrate death or welcome it with open arms. something to that effect. when i talk about dying to people around me, they get angry. Don't talk like that!. that's what they say. while randomly browsing through photologs, there was this entry of a guy where he posted a picture of his wrist with thin dashes and the words "cut along the thin fine lines". there was a disclaimer too. he said that he wasn't suicidal. he just thinks about death sometimes and that he was just toying with the idea although he has no plans on killing himself. the sight of the wrist with the dashed marks might look morbid but he did justify his "morbid" thoughts by citing Sigmund Freud's theory that every individual thinks of death subconsciously.

i believe that theory. morbid but true.

Rubber Ducky

*sings* rubber ducky, i'm your friend...*sings*

i developed an extreme fanaticism over Rubber Ducky. i absolutely adore them and everytime i go to the mall and search for Rubber Duckies, i squeal in delight over my finds. Daivy got me a Spa Duck! *squeals*. they're so cute! so i made up my mind, i'm going to buy that Rubber Ducky coin bank from Humor Post no matter how impractical the price is. i remember a conversation i had with Van before we went into the theater to watch a movie:

(me running back to Van from Humor Post)
me: ang cute ng Rubber Ducky piggy bank sa Humor Post!
(van bursts into laughter)
van: ano ulit? Rubber Duckie piggy bank?
me: ay mali! Rubber Ducky coin bank pala!

it's also so cool that i get to text Daivy straight to her cellphone via LJ text message service (too bad it's only for paid users).

must scram not and study for another exam tomorrow.

thanks Dei! love ya!

i'm home! while it's really nice to be home, i still feel sad for leaving Palawan after four stellar days! words are not enough to explain how much fun we had! we didn't waste a single minute and everything turned out more than i could have imagined. thanks to good company and the great place! why would you aspire to go to beaches outside of the country when we already have beauty in the a few hours away!

day 1
. one hour flight later we were at Puerto Princesa where we met up with Mrs. Belleza who was also at the same flight. we dropped the things off at the hotel and then went straight to Honda Bay. we took a boat ride which is about 40 minutes long to get to the islands. it was awesome! the view was spectacular. van and i couldn't help but think that GOD is such a great artist for making Palawan a work of art.

.Honda Bay. The bay consists of several islets with shallow reefs bordering fabulous beaches which have become the favorite swimming, snorkelling, and diving destinations of local residents and tourists. These islets are the Cannon (Cowrie) Island, Bat Island, Lu-Ii Island (derived from the word ""lulubog-lilitaw"", meaning floating and sinking island, is visible only during low tide), Meara Marina, Starfish Island (known for its fine white sand and clear water that teems with starfish), Snake Island (an island with a long stretch of fine white sand shaped like a snake), Pandan Island, and Senorita Island (the breeding site of lapu-lapu fish). Lodging facilities are available for overnight stays in the islands of Meara Marina and Starfish (Sandbar Resort).The bay is located in Sta. Lourdes Tagbanua, Puerto Princesa City. About 12 kilometers east of Puerto Princesa City is Sta. Lourdes wharf where pumpboats could be hired to take tourists to the island of their choice. Some islands require an entrance fee; others are privately owned, thus, permits from the owners are necessary. Sta. Lourdes wharf is 25 minutes away by hired tricycle or jeepney. A pumpboat ride from the wharf to the different islands is from 15 to 50 minutes.
(http://www.tourism.gov.ph/explore_phil/place_details.asp?content=famousefor&province=22)

. snorkeling at Snake Island. it was fun! i didn't think we were going swimming so i didn't buy an underwater disposable camera. but we were lucky! we got to go snorkeling because the people there have snorkeling gear for rent! we went swimming with colorfull underwater creatures! i saw a starfish too :) it was so beautiful that i couldn't believe my eyes that i was swimming with the beautiful colorful fishes!

. two hours later we were back on the boat. we almost got stranded because the motor would die once in a while. we got to watch the sunset from the boatride and it was breathtaking! i got lucky enough to have three cameras with me to capture the moment!

. another forty minute boat ride later and a sunset view, we were back to the wharf where our ride waited. it took us back to the city where we showered at the hotel and went out again for dinner at the best chicken place in town-- Chicken Inato. yumm!

that was the first day. to be continued. to talk about the whole four day stay would take me ages to finish since we did A LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS while we were in Palawan. the good news is, i just might go back this summer right after practicum with my family because they're really interested to go. yey!

boatride on the way back to the wharf. at the way back: that's van and i. then there's Mrs. Belleza. up front is Dr. Boncan and apple. click here for larger version.


we needed to wear vests in case we fall off haha :P







van, apple, and i before swimming. already at Snake Island.









on the way back to the wharf about three hours later.




what did we do to deserve to be here?


i thought i died and went to heaven.


van and i taking a break after snorkeling.


Snake Island in Honda Bay


a picture of the beach with Prof. Gerry as extra. hehe :P




i felt really at peace and close with Nature there.


the boat we took to go island hopping at Honda Bay


we were able to watch the sunset from the boat on the way to the wharf!!! breathtaking!

DAY 2

. the conference at Palawan State University on American Legacy in Palawan: with focus on Culio Leper Colony and Iwahig Penal Colony was from 8am to 5pm. it was very interesting and although the conference was that long, it did not bore us at all because the history of both the colonies are very interesting. i learned so much from that day especially how when another window was openned for me to look into the past of two places that played such a big role in Philippines' history under the American rule. i wish i could get copies of the paper. van, apple, and i met people too. interesting ones.

. there was a reception at Dr. Evangelista's house for the delegates from Manila. we went with the group. the house was lovely. Prof. Gerry said the terrace is beautiful because it has a view of Honda Bay from up there. we didn't get to see it, though.

. after refreshing at the hotel, dr. boncan, mrs. belleza (the curator of the Legazpi museum), Prof. Gerry, apple, van, and i went around the city to tour places. we had dinner again at a lovely restaurant and saw the city which was small but interesting. we were supposed to go and watch a free Rivermaya concert at the city's coliseum but sadly, the place was really packed! so we took pictures at the famous city fountain instead. it was a pretty sight. then we toured inside the Capitol where there were booths and a one-woman show. that lady was hilarious because she kept messing the lyrics of a Mariah Carey song.

Day 3

. Mrs. Melly (the director from NHI- National Historical Institute or is it PHA- Philippine Historical Institute?) and Hon. Ambet Ocampo picked us up to go to the Puerto Princesa Subterranean River National Park. from http://www.tourism.gov.ph/explore_phil/place_details.asp?content=famousefor&province=22--A world heritage site, this natural wonder features an 8.2 kilometer navigable underground river, reputed to be the world's longest, that winds through a spectacular cave before emptying out in to the South China Sea. This river flows within a deep cavern under rugged limestone and marble cliffs, special features of the park. Known as one of the world's wonders, this river stretches eight kilometers deep into an underground lagoon with crystalline waters. Within the hallowed recesses, one winds through the tunnel aboard a paddle boat with outriggers to be enthralled at every turn which reveals stalactite pillars, rock formations, and domed amphitheaters.The park is located in Bahile, Puerto Princesa, Palawan. Located 81 kilometers from the city proper, the place can be reached through Barangay Cabayugan to Sabang, from where one could take a pumpboat ride to the Underground River, or hike through a monkey trail. An alternative way to reach the river is through a hired pumpboat ride from Bahile wharf. Travel time through Barangay Cabayugan is 1 1/2 hours' jeepney ride and 10 to 15 minutes pumpboat ride or 1 1/2 hours hike.

. we were unfortunate because when we got to Sabang, the sea (South China Sea) was ferocious! it was raging with big waves which is why the wharf there didn't want to send out boats to get to the park in 20 minutes. we opted to take the 2 hour trail instead. omigod. it was once big mistake because to get to the Underground River, we had to hike up and down two mountains! the terrain was also dangerous with steep slopes, slippery rockes, and slippery leaves to step on. it was scary at one point especially when we pushed ourselves physically to exert so much strength in order to get to the river in one piece! but the Underground River inside the humongous spectacular cave was worth it. the interior of the gave was overwhelming. there were rock formations and although it was eery inside, the view was amazing! NO WORDS can explain how beautiful it was especially the mouth of the cave!!! a boat took us inside the cave along the underground river and we had to wear life vests and hard hats for safety. digicam battery went dead but i still had the film cam so i'm going to wait for those pics to be developed. on the way back, we had to trek through the jungle for another two hours! so that's four hours trekking which is why we were DEAD tired when we got back. i've never done that-- pushed myself that hard but the experience alone was awesome! it's an accomplishment that i could be proud of because it's not just a hill. they were two high mountains and trekking through a jungle is NO JOKE.

. at night we had dinner at Chowking because we couldn't decide where else to eat and we were really dead tired because of the four-hour suicidal trek through the jungle and up and down to mountains. argh. i don't think i can ever do that again because it was horrible. but looking back, it was an experience to be proud of! :D heeh!

DAY 4
. we just went shopping and we took a city tour. argh! van, apple, and i went crazy on souvenirs!!! haha! we also went to Iwahig (the late Penal Colony) and bought souvenirs which the prisoners there made. then we also dropped by the Congressman's ranch. it was beautiful!

the last day, it was sad because we had to much fun that we didn't want to leave. Dr. Evangelista and his wife treated us for lunch at Dang Maria's. the place is a house with beautiful interior and a very wide lot. pizza was great! the tofu curry too! when we got to the hotel we rested for a while until we were on our feet again and had dinner at Balinsasayaw under a cozy hut. seafood :9 yumm! and buko shake.

when the plane touched down this noon, i couldn't believe i was back to Manila. life was so much better in Palawan! all of us didn't want to leave. even Dr. Boncan! but this is life and it's back to reality tomorrow when school starts at 7am. sigh

more pictures next time. i have three 36-shot films, 180 photos from my cellphone, and 180 more from the digicam. oh yes, we have that much pictures documented from the trip!

Dr. Boncan already invited us to join the Banawe trip this April (right before practicum) and van, apple, and i are going again. yey! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TRAVELLING. life without travelling is like picking up a book and not turning over the pages. a famous person said that, read it off from somewhere. i just couldn't remember.

love our own! Philippines has so much to offer!