Dear You

Dear You,

admist the crazy workload i have for tonight and the cramming that i have to do, my mind still flies off to where it shouldn't go. it's not like me to feel this way. i'm always in control of things - bold and brave to face whatever life slaps me on the face with.

rockslides...destructive mass movement which involves movement of the bedrock.... (image of you pops in my head)... slump... special type of mass wasting involving a rational movement of materials.... (i see your face, your smile...)

this should stop.

i don't even know myself anymore. i sit here and try to memorize my notes in geology, my last final tomorrow. but instead of me concentrating on better things (like how to pass the geo final), my mind drifts off to thoughts of you.

is it really like this to say goodbye to a friend? is this how it feels to regret something that you should have held on to?

i always thought i was strong. perhaps life is testing my strength. i pray to God that i don't give in or else i wouldn't know what to do. this isn't a way to live. i should learn to let the memories of you go. if only it were as easy as holding every bit of memory involving you in my hands, then blowing it away and let the wind carry you far away from me...

...maybe then i will be able to learn to live my life like i confidently, carefreely used to.

sincerely,

Gail