random things

i finally gave up on coffee. lets see how long i can handle a caffeine free life. yes, Coke and other softdrinks included. it started when my sister and i spent a few hours with her boyfriend and egy at Cafe Briton (banana filled crepe topped with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup drizzle!). it was raining and because we just came out of Kitchen, it was really cold (aircondition + rainy weather, go figure). so i asked her if she wanted to sit outside. i was tempted to order a cup of cafe mocha but i had a rough night from drinking coffee & i had palpitations too. so we had Lipton hot tea instead (there's caffeine in tea too, right? but tea is healthier). since then, i've decided to stick to hot tea instead of coffee. it's healthier because it detoxifies the insides of our bodies. i've been drinking tea everyday since. i managed to find two huge boxes of Lipton tea bags the cupboard and it has kept my tummy warm since.

- - -

i've been lazy really lazy to blog lately. plus, i had no internet connection for two days. i've been making the most sem break, though. so far, so good. although i already kissed that long awaited out-of-town trip goodbye because we all know it's not going to happen.

- - -

do you like trance/house/chill-out music? i do. i never thought i'd come to love trance especially after it used to make my head whirl. but the other day while i was inside a club-- lights flashing and trance music playing... it made my head whirl but in a good way. the blinking lights made everyone around me seem to move in slow motion. no wonder it's called trance, the music took me on a natural high.

i woke up i wash my face and go
here's another day i'm sure i'll fight for what i love
and the music keeps going on and my heart begins to beat
and the music keeps going on and it makes me heart complete
fly away from here
i'm flying away
i'm flying away
i'm flying away

- - -

yesterday i went out with my high school buddies: sherwin, darwin, mark, jane, omar, rhea (omar's girlfriend), and winston. it was fun although we just hanged out and had a can of beer each. alej and his cousin plus a friend came afterwards. i didn't realize how late it was until checked the time.

i'll forever love my high school kada to pieces. it's really different being with them. it's as if we're in high school again back when our facial muscles hurt from laughing at the jokes the boys crack. we talked about the future because jane asked what our plans were after finishing school. in a few years we'll be sitting together talking about our careers and who knows? maybe by some surprise someone's going to announce that he/she is getting married and the like.

friends make me happy and THEY make me happy.

love you guys! iba talaga pag kayo! :)

me: tingin kayo sa paligid. tayo lang ang natutuwa sa Arabic song na pinapatugtog nila!

HAHA!

- - -

ack. obviously, i've been ranting randomly again. oh well!

i used to be a fan of S Club 7. i might still be one!

i love kids. i like being around them. i like being around younger people because they exude so much optimism and hope.


photo by Image Bank


the other day it hit me. if i love kids so much, why the hell didn't i go to pursue a degree that would make me a kindergarten teacher? oh yeah. in this world, practicality has overpowered passion. the good old days. but then again, i was never the person to think about practicality. perhaps my naive mind has not been tainted with the reality of life and i am yet to grow up from my immaturity (or not) but still. i'd like to think that passion is much more important than the figures of salary.

why did i all of a sudden get into this topic anyway? well, a few hours ago i got bored watching t.v. a few more hours back, i put down The Second Summer of the Sisterhood (Ann Brashares). then i got up from the study table and shut off the computer to listen to music. yes. if there's nothing else to do, sound trip is the best therapy for boredom. i downloaded two S Club 7 songs last night. yes, S Club 7, that teeny-bopper English group that sings perky pop. and then i started to bob my head up and down until i found myself dancing like a lunatic. i remember high school days when i was so much into boybands and teeny bopper music. unlike my friends today, i was one of those teenage school girls who liked the boybands and splurged on magazines just to get posters of the Backstreet Boys or Justin Timberlake of N'Sync. who can blame me? i had no older brother who could save me from a very severe case of boybandtitis by influencing me with Silverchair, Led Zeppelin, or Metallica. so anyway, i had so much fun dancing all by myself singing along to every word of Bring It All Back and Two in a Million. Bring It All Back brought a lot of memories, alright. when i first heard this song in high school i thought it was some song from Barney or whatever kid show. upon hearing it again i started drifting off to high school when i used to spend later afterschool hours dunking Oreos into a glass of cold milk. back when i used to walk by the seaside with my school friends after exam week, and back when my biggest problem was how to clear pimples on my forehead.

if i were a kindergarten teacher, i'd love to dance with the kids because Bring It All Back brings out such a positive message that the younger generation needs to hear:

Bring It All Back (S Club 7)
Bring it all back now

Don't stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you

Hold on to what you try to be
Your individuality
When the world is on your shoulders
Just smile and let it go
If people try to put you down
Just walk on by don't turn around
You only have to answer to yourself

Don't you know it's true what they say
That life, it ain't easy
But your time's coming around
So don't you stop tryin'

Don't stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you
Dream of falling in love
Anything you've been thinking of
When the world seems to get too tough
Bring it all back to you

Na na na na..

Try not to worry 'bout a thing
Enjoy the good times life can bring
Keep it all inside you
Gotta let the feeling show
Imagination is the key
'Cos you are you're own destiny
You never should be lonely
When time is on your side

Don't you know it's true what they say
Things are sent to try you
But your time's coming around
So don't you stop tryin'

Don't stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you
Dream of falling in love
Anything you've been thinking of
When the world seems to get too tough
Bring it all back to you

Na na na na..

Don't you know it's true what they say
Things happen for a reason
But your time's coming around
So don't you stop tryin'

Don't stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you
Dream of falling in love
Anything you've been thinking of
When the world seems to get too tough
Bring it all back to you
[Repeat to fade]

sigh. high school life. those were the best days. i skimmed through my old Livejournal which i kept for a good two years. i read every single entry i wrote and remembered how sunny/optimistic i was. i still am. sometimes i just become tired and weary but you know? i think i'm going back to my old self because "...Things happen for a reason/But your time's coming around/So don't you stop tryin'".

just sharing. i can totally relate.

The Power of Your Love
(Vineyard Music)

Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I’ve found in You
Lord I’ve come to know
The weakenesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love

Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I’ll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love

Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love
As You live in me
Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day
By the power of Your love

And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love

totally irrelevant and pointless (don't say i didn't warn ya)

i try not to gush the way girls do about their boyfriends because sometimes i feel like it's too cheesey. i'm embarassed to show that side of me, perhaps. but sometimes i realize that that i'm not that tough of a girl to show my strong front. i crumble and melt inside whenever you look at me the way you do and i like it when you reach for my hand and hold it whenever i'm on the passenger seat. sometimes the silence is enough for me to feel safe when i'm with you. you don't know it but i usually smile inside because i am assured that life is going to be more bearable.

you know who you are, i love you. :)

_ _ _

i was happy when i slid under the covers, tired and sleepy from the day. i went to St. Jude because it's his feast day today and attended the procession. after that it was mass then dinner with Alej's family. but after sleeping for just an hour, i woke up. phooey. so it's just alternative rock and me now. yes, i'm sound tripping while the tv is on mute. i was watching Veronica Mars because i love the series but short attention span got the best of me so i resulted to sound tripping and blogging instead.

Radio Head's High and Dry, Fake Plastic Trees, Dishwalla's Angels and Devils, Champagne Supernova by Oasis, and Brick by Ben Fold's Five are making me really senti right now. i feel like curling on the sofa, switching off the lights, lighting scented candles, and then stare off into the dark appreciating the October night chill right this very moment. it is cold at night these days although it's annoyingly humid in daytime. i'm choking with mellowness because it is at this hour (in the wee hours of the morning) that i get all senti and peaceful. i miss this feeling. i used to spend a lot of times like these but life isn't always peaceful so i'm going to appreciate NOW a little more. about lighting the candles... i'm too much of a chicken to switch the lights off now because everyone else is upstairs. every time i switch off the lights when i'm alone, i get those nasty flashbacks of the asian scary flicks that i've watched in my lifetime and it always scares the shit out of me.

now it's raining. yayness! and Armageddon is on Star Movies. no, i won't cry. (yeah, who am i kidding?)

i started this entry with something more substantial in mind but i kind of stopped half-way while writing this and now i'm totally lost. what the hell was my point again? no point in recalling it now. i'm lost.

just a thought

i don't know how life does it. you know, how it makes you love life sometimes and loathe it just as fast as you fell in love with it.

_ _ _

today after getting permission from my father to go out tonight, i remembered a night when my sister and her boyfriend plus alej and i were at Somethin' Fishy hanging out. we sat at the tables outside and i noticed a lot of young people (think high school pre-teen years) were going about with their own agendas for the saturday night. at 12 midnight when my sister and i were already preparing to go home to beat the curfew (our Cinderella curfew), these "kids" were just arriving. i couldn't believe that while my night was coming to an end because i'm supposed to be home, these "kids" have the rest of past 12am to party and their parents actually allow them to. i was so JEALOUS that i started to whine. i'm 20 and they're what? 14-18? HAHA. well, i did the whining inside my head. i just thought it was really weird because when i was 14 or so... i spent saturday nights watching movies on VHS with my family or reading a book inside my room. isn't that sad? but i had a lot of fun on saturday nights. just not the kind of FUN these kids are having.

my college friend Apple and i spent our first sembreak (the first day too) with Scelda and April at Eastwood in a club, dancing. we were chaperoned by her elder sister who refused to let us go by ourselves. hehe. the "night life" was too new to us but we did have fun. come sophomore year sem break, apple and i partied all weekend & came home in the morning. we lateron concluded that the "night life" wasn't for us. eventually i got bored. come 1am i was already sleepy, aching to go to bed and rest in peace. er, peacefully. so i retreated back to old habits and started spending saturday nights at home again-- reading, watching tv, or hanging out with my family. while alej and i were in the car yesterday, we talked about how he was a "party boy" before. he used to go out almost every night (or weekend...basta often!). then he said it must have been maturity or the mere fact that he was getting older that he outgrew that phase.

my theory is that when someone (in the right state of mind) tastes something, for example drinking, partying, smoking or staying up all night, one stops being curious and stays away from it after tasting it. you get it? like parents are too nervous these days that their kids might do this and do that. when in reality, kids are just curious. or maybe it really depends because some kids tend to abuse the right amount of freedom given to them by their parents. if parents will give the right amount of freedom and kids won't abuse it, then they'd get to see both worlds and realize that it's just curiousity that's pushing them to try the "unforbidden fruit" (translation? it's up to you to replace a word with that metaphor). then again, this is just me or rather, MY STORY.

i still go out a lot but not as often as i used to. i go out because i want two worlds-- the serious, and the fun. if i limit myself to just the serious world, i'd be in a mental facility by now-- all locked up with a wasted life. i don't want to waste my youth. i think my parents know that too because they brought my sister and i up really well by not imposing too much on us. the result of this strategy was that it played tricks on my our conscience. they were right to trust us with our own judgements-- from knowing what's wrong, what's right and what's enough.

i've been to both sides of the fences-- to both the good and the bad. i liked both sides and i think i was fairly a "good kid" because i didn't give my parents a hard time. i'd like to think i was a responsible teenager trying to have fun. and i still do! i still want to have fun! yes, i have the urge to be rebellious sometimes but my idea of rebellion is just cutting my own hair (oh yes, i did), coloring it to brownish-red (only to have my old hair color back because i dyed it to black before), drinking until i can no longer breathe (i'm allergic), and sometimes going a few hours more beyond curfew.

my advice to teenagers out there? have fun! there's nothing wrong with what you guys are doing just as long as you know your limits, you're not stepping on anyone's foot, and you're not having too much of a bad thing because we all know too much of a good thing can be bad. and when parents give you FREEDOM, don't abuse it or else they'll put a leash around your neck (or tighten it more if you already have one). trust me. you wouldn't want that to happen because beeing in your teens? FREEDOM is so IMPORTANT. without FREEDOM, you'll just watch your teenage years pass you by and i'm sure you wouldn't want to grow old thinking how much fun you missed in your younger years.

i'm not imposing. i'm just sharing because teenage years are the best years of growing up. you're tasting and feeling things for the first time and nothing can beat that. now that i think about it, it's as if the universal motto for teens is the slogan of Emirates Airlines: When was the last time you did something for the first time? so remember... BALANCE is the key.

okay. now i feel OLD. HAHA!

time flies when you don't want it to. it slows down when you want it to.

i'm watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding for the nth time on dvd. i think i'm the only person in the world who loves this movie to pieces.

i never thought i'd say this but it's boring to be a couch potato. my sleeping hours went topsy-turvey since sembreak started. i sleep at around 3ish and wake up past lunch time. i don't even eat breakfast anymore. plus, i always have major headaches for sleeping too long. after waking up, i usually glue my eyes to the tv even if i have absolutely nothing good to watch AT ALL.

boxing was in the agenda for the day so i had to cancel with my grade school friend jez (to hang out at diliman) but by some turn of events, i wasn't able to go with my sister to boxing. so instead of moping at home after having both plans cancelled, i went out still with alej.

i went to eastwood to supposedly buy tickets for the longest buffet thing on the 22nd. we already asked for tickets at cybermall and when this girl went to the top floor to get the tickets, we bailed. why? because we could go to Saisaki instead for 350 pesos and actually enjoy the food. alej then met up with his friend and we stayed at Fazoli's for a couple of hours. oh, someone answer me: why is it so hard to kill time when you need to? time slows down when you want it to go fast and it goes fast when you badly want it to slow down. yeah. that's what happened last night. the movie wasn't until 8.30 so alej and i had cheesecakes instead. i love blueberry cheesecakes! The 40 Year Old Virgin was hilarious! HAHA! plus, before the movie i also saw the trailer of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. i felt like a little kid in a candy store because i love Harry Potter and it's such an amazing feeling to see the stuff you read on big screen just the way you imagined it. it's like dreams coming to life. er, okay. all you non-readers out there might not understand but that's the closest way i can describe it.

i was supposed to go to the org's team building but i wasn't able to check my globe phone the moment i woke up. turned out that paolo texted me and said he was going to the laguna trip (i was waiting for his decision whether he'd go or not so i figured he wasn't go). so the thing was... i already decided i wasn't go so i didn't even bother asking my father before. then everyone else started texting me, prodding me to take a bus to laguna so i can catch up with the group. i asked my father but he didn't allow me to (especially on a short notice). so yeah. i got stuck in manila while the rest of them kiddos are having fun right this very moment.

i also finished reading the virgin suicides the other day. i like jeffrey euginedes's writing style. i liked the book but it wasn't as "good" as i expected it to be. i'd still recommend it, though. i'm still waiting for my other books to be returned because i haven't finished the others i lent.

mishka. i love that name! the movie just ended and i'm watching PIPOL right now. mishka adams is on the show and i love her place! so artsy! i want my future home/pad/apartment to look like that. if not, i want my apartment to look like amelie's! plus, i'm also listening to her songs. KILABOT TO THE MAX! i loveee herrr olredi!

well, time went fast yesterday (because that happens when you're having fun). the opposite happened today because time went awfully slow that it gave me another headache.

xoxo,
gail

simoun's post birthday bash

yesterday was awesome! i can't remember the last time i had the much fun! i love my college barkada (the original batch HAHA and the new one too).

okay. how come there's the "original" and the "new" batches? well... here it goes:

original barkada: in freshman year, there were 5 of us: mitchie, apple, me, simoun, and a.j. then in second year, a.j. transferred to UP Diliman to major in fine arts. scelda transferred too and simoun shifted to organizational communication (still in UPM) at the end of 2nd year. it was sad. but we still got to see the three who moved out of social science although occasionally nalang.

then there's the

new barkada: mitchie, apple, and i are still together plus paolo p., van, tal, pie, and jules. HAHA. so yeah, we sort of evolved. got to know new people from the block and became close. this started during junior year or the first sem of senior year (i can't quite remember because friendship just happens).

so it was a delight when simoun organized this get-together/sem-ender/post birthday celebration at his place last night after we watched the street dance competition where UPM Indayog was one of the four finalists to compete at the finals in december. YEYY! :) i thought i wasn't going to make it because i didn't know how i'd get home and my father didn't know where in marikina simoun's house is. but everything worked themselves out and i had a blast-- something i haven't felt in ages.

there was food (pizza, chips, peanuts, and hamburgers), Coke, and alcohol (Red Horse!) plus a whole lot of laughs, frights, trivias, gossips, and senti conversations. for the laughs, of course we had to tell corny jokes. we started at 11pm and finished off with ghost stories at 6am in the morning. oh my! i couldn't believe we didn't sleep the whole night and worse.. we scared ourselves by sharing ghost stories. it was scary, i tell you. but when the sun rose we were relieved.

my friends ROCK :)

UPM Indayog before their number. ASTEEG! the other three finalists: University of the East, UP Diliman, and FEU.


LETS GO U.P.!!! sayang sana pati UP LB nanalo :(


me with the dela Rosa girls HEHE (apple's sisters kisses and kristel). i borrowed Apple's jacket because i think it's cute.


scelda, apple, simoun, me, and ajab.


simoun! okay ka lang?


the Tres Marias!!! wahh! i miss those days!


scelda, apple, april, me, and ajab.


apple and i. red? who's red?


alcohol? what alcohol?


tres marias again :)

you know what they say about friends?

the pages may crumble, the pictures may fade
but we'll never forget the friends that we made.

I LOVE YOU :)

boxing tomorrow. FUN! :)

random shmandom

help me, i now have short attention span. i was once a couch potato. i can sit on the couch for hours surfing channels on cable watching tv all day long and not get bored. but now? i can't! i can't even focus for fifteen minutes watching a show. even my favorite shows can't keep me on the couch. i'm not used to watching tv anymore! FOCUS, gail. FOCUS!

anyway, Amidala got a haircut last weekend. we brought her to Animal House at Megamall. poor girl. i think she lost her confidence when the guy at Animal House shaved away all her fur. the vet suggested we got it shaved again (her 2nd time) because her fur was tangled. it would only hurt her everytime she scratched. it will grow back. when we left her there, the vet put her inside a cage while she waited for her turn (right after two poodles who got their fur shaved too). it was so funny because Ala was the only dog who was barking like mad! i swear! she hardly barks which made it really funny! it was just depressing after we picked her up from Animal House because she looked more like a chihuahua than a shih-tzu!

in the evening my sister, kuya john, alej, and i went to eastwood. we were supposed to watch The 40-year old Virgin but we were 30 minutes late. last full show was out of the question because my sister and i have a "cinderella curfew". so we went to Something Fishy instead. bonding kami. HAHA. but it was fun. made me realize that hanging out was better than watching a movie.

anyway... a couple of peekchurs from the past weekend:

si ate at si bunso :) ay! di na pala ako bunso. si Amidala na. hmp. this was before we left for the mall to bond with the no.2 man in our lives (syempre, si GOD ang no.1)


on the way to megamall in the car. she enjoyed the ride very much HAHA! when i rolled the windows down she started barking on people. MEAAAANNNN!


after. she looks like a puppy again! but i like her this way because she's cleaner!

off to bed now. i'm groggy.

geek talk

yesterday i went to Powerbooks at Megamall to buy The Secret of Life by Elizabeth Wurtzel.

rewind to months back, the name of the author caught my eye because i loved her since i got to watch Prozac Nation. so i picked the book off the shelf and skimmed through the book for a good thirty minutes until i got tired of standing up. i wanted to buy the book then (the only copy!) but i only had a 500 bill in my wallet. the book is around 600+. i made a mental note to come back the next day because i already fell in love with it. the next week i came back, excited to buy the book and finally call it mine. but lo and behold! it wasn't there anymore. i wanted to throw a tantrum when the customer service lady told me there weren't any copies of the book anymore. pfft. i checked the other National Bookstore branches and they gave me the same answer. perhaps it's because the book isn't known yet. people demand less for the book so the bookstore probably stopped ordering because no one buys it anyway. well shit! they should have copies for poor desperate girls like me!

but yesterday i ended the misery and my chase for The Secret of Life by marching into Powerbooks and to the Customer Service counter. i finally had a copy reserved and they promised to contact me as soon as my copy comes in. roaming around, i decided to finally get a copy of The Virgin Suicides (Jeffrey Euginedes)-- the book that i've been wanting to read even before The Secret of Life stole my attention. yes, because it's sembreak i can make a reading list once again (not that i really make one). just as i got excited to start the book, i realized that i forgot to pick it up last night from Alej's car. shit.

my reading list for sembreak:
1. The Secret of Life (Elizabeth Wurtzel)
2. The Virgin Suicides (Jeffrey Euginedes)
3. Daughter of Fortune (Isabel Allende)
4. Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix (JK Rowling)
5. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (JK Rowling)

lastly, i wish to have at least one trip to the beach and finally learn how to drive because it's about time!

i sat on the sand and dug my toes into it feeling its coarse grains gently rubbing my feet. it felt cold and i just had to smile because it had been a while since i last felt at peace with myself. i closed my eyes and listened to the waves as they crashed to shore. the cold wind blew and i no longer cared about all my worries. it was like all of a sudden i dropped off the load that was on my back as soon as i sat on the sand. i tilted my head to the sky, eyes still shut then opened them to meet the bright rays of the sun. it shone down on me like i was the only person there. i had to squint until the rays hurt my eyes.

i don't know what happened after that. i must have fallen asleep. the next thing i knew i was running along a tunnel and it was pitch dark. i was running and running with no destination in mind. my only goal at the moment was to reach the end of the tunnel. but it never came. i started to become afraid. i called out for help but no one came until i finally stopped running and sat on the ground. i hugged my knees tightly to my chest and let tears fall. i was shivering. i was cold. i was afraid. i never felt so alone. then finally when i was too tired to cry, i stood up and carried on with the run. then it happened. finally it was there- an openning at the end of the tunnel. it stretched too far out that i thought i wasn't going to get to it but i did.

it was then when i finally woke up. i was still at the beach curled into a fetal position on the sand. it was already getting dark. over the horizon, i saw what was left of the sun that was setting. it painted the whole sky into an explosion of colors: orange, yellow, and peach. it was so beautiful that the entire sky almost looked like a painting.

i smiled. the day was about to end. darkness will settle once again but there's tomorrow. it's going be another day, a brand new one to start anew. and somehow i felt that i was going to be okay and most of all, i was at peace with myself.

i thought so

okay. so i changed my mind. i'm keeping this blog for sentimental reasons. i've been a blogger user for years which is why i think i have the option to switch off the navigation bar.

i'm tired. i thought i was in the mood to rant.