totally irrelevant and pointless (don't say i didn't warn ya)

i try not to gush the way girls do about their boyfriends because sometimes i feel like it's too cheesey. i'm embarassed to show that side of me, perhaps. but sometimes i realize that that i'm not that tough of a girl to show my strong front. i crumble and melt inside whenever you look at me the way you do and i like it when you reach for my hand and hold it whenever i'm on the passenger seat. sometimes the silence is enough for me to feel safe when i'm with you. you don't know it but i usually smile inside because i am assured that life is going to be more bearable.

you know who you are, i love you. :)

_ _ _

i was happy when i slid under the covers, tired and sleepy from the day. i went to St. Jude because it's his feast day today and attended the procession. after that it was mass then dinner with Alej's family. but after sleeping for just an hour, i woke up. phooey. so it's just alternative rock and me now. yes, i'm sound tripping while the tv is on mute. i was watching Veronica Mars because i love the series but short attention span got the best of me so i resulted to sound tripping and blogging instead.

Radio Head's High and Dry, Fake Plastic Trees, Dishwalla's Angels and Devils, Champagne Supernova by Oasis, and Brick by Ben Fold's Five are making me really senti right now. i feel like curling on the sofa, switching off the lights, lighting scented candles, and then stare off into the dark appreciating the October night chill right this very moment. it is cold at night these days although it's annoyingly humid in daytime. i'm choking with mellowness because it is at this hour (in the wee hours of the morning) that i get all senti and peaceful. i miss this feeling. i used to spend a lot of times like these but life isn't always peaceful so i'm going to appreciate NOW a little more. about lighting the candles... i'm too much of a chicken to switch the lights off now because everyone else is upstairs. every time i switch off the lights when i'm alone, i get those nasty flashbacks of the asian scary flicks that i've watched in my lifetime and it always scares the shit out of me.

now it's raining. yayness! and Armageddon is on Star Movies. no, i won't cry. (yeah, who am i kidding?)

i started this entry with something more substantial in mind but i kind of stopped half-way while writing this and now i'm totally lost. what the hell was my point again? no point in recalling it now. i'm lost.