someday soon

i'm sick. hayy. it's so uncomfortable to be sick. this morning i couldn't even carry myself. when i arrived at 6.30 in the morning ahead of everyone else, i sat on the floor of the hallway & tried to sleep while seated. hehe. then i remembered that it's almost the "Ber" months once again & when the weather starts to get cooler... people rise from their deep slumber a little later. thus, more and more people tend to skip classes especially in the morning. i swear! it's proven! i made plans with apple to meet me at the GAB lobby to get a letter signed for the National Institutes of Health (thesis related) by Prof Betan but i was too sickly to go ahead. plus, it started raining too. so when i told my mother that i couldn't commute all the way to Q.C. because i felt groggy & tired, she said they'd pick me up instead.

i've been attending the mass-novena at the St. Jude parish for 5 weeks straight now on thursdays. i feel a certain kind of peace going to mass there. whether it's psychological or not, i still feel peaceful after each mass & novena. that's all that counts.
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i read from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens that it's good to be philosophical about life & to be sensitive to one's surrounding. by being sensitive to one's surrounding you tend to feel a strong connection with other people surrounding you. it make sense right? because you become less self-centered when you consider other people. being sympathetic towards people who have less won't satisfy you by thinking you have more. instead, you learn to reach out towards these people who have less & you start to feel compassion towards them. you live for others & for GOD instead of living for yourself alone.

another thing, if you have a bird's eye view of your problems & consider the bigger problems the world is going through (ex. poverty, political turmoil, racial injustices, etc.), you learn to cope with your own trials because you feel that it's a small problem to mope on. thus, you get more motivation to carry on the road. the journey i like to call a "pilgrimage" to the afterlife. the book said that we should not develop the attitude of considering the bigger problems just to make our problems go away. we should still face what's in front of us.

call me unrealistic or an illusionist... but i have high hopes for humanity.

one of my favorite songs...

Someday
(Eternal, Hunchback of Notre Dame soundtrack)

Someday when we are wiser
When the world's older
When we have learned
I pray someday we may yet live to live and maybe
Someday life will be fairer
need will be rarer and greed will not pay
God speed this bright millennium all is well
Let it come someday

Someday our fight will be won then
we'll stand in the sun then that bright afternoon
'Till then on days when the sun is gone
We'll hang on if we wish upon the moon

There are some days dark and bitter
Seems we haven't got a prayer
But a prayer for something better
Is the one thing we all share

Someday When we are wiser
when the world's older
when we have learned
I pray someday we may yet live to live and maybe

Someday life will be fairer
need will be rarer and greed will not pay
God speed this bright millennium all is well
Let it come someday

One day, someday soon...

i just feel helpless because i can't seem to find the energy & time to actually put my passion into ACTION along with juggling school work in senior year.

i know volunteerism requires MAKING TIME not FINDING TIME. i swear, i will MAKE TIME.

is it even right to feel that i carry the weight of the world for seeing that something is wrong & that i need to do something about it but i'm not doing anything? sigh

many times i've tried to let people see what is in my heart but everytime i start to let them see, i back out. but my sister sees through me & knows what my real passion is. there are just certain barriers that need consideration because the real world can be ugly sometimes.


The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr
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Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6