another great lesson

since high school i always include in my prayers that i want Him to guide me to the direction wherever He wants me to go because i will willingly follow. i ask for strength too and wisdom to understand the things that i can't because i am stubborn. too stubborn that sometimes i question God and ask "Why me?". i thought that the concept of "God's will" was overrated. it was a cliche. don't get me wrong when i start talking about God. i am not a religious person. i don't claim to be a good Christian as well. but my faith in Him is strong because i believe that He is the one responsible for bringing me where i am today.

believing in Fate and in God is contradicting, they say. i say they don't. we can actually believe in both when we accept that Fate is determined by God and by believing in Fate, we say "yes" to God's plan for us and accept His ways. this is not an excuse to slack off, though. of course, the saying "Do your best and God will do the rest" applies. we can't just sit around and wait for some Divine Intervention to take place and let everything fall into the right places like puzzle pieces. we need to move and do our best and then God will guide us. how will you be able to let the wind blow a kite to make it fly if you won't run and make it take-off up into the sky in the first place? impossible, right? you can't just stand there with your pretty red kite and let the wind pick it up. you run your fastest until your kite flies high. God is the wind that will blow your kite high and all you have to do is hold on tight and enjoy its flight while keeping your feet firmly planted on the ground.

why am i talking about this? forgive me, i don't mean to preach. these are all my opinion and you do not need to be forced with what i learned from my observations. i'm talking about Fate and God because i think my prayers were answered. at least partially. i was supposed to take up my practicum at the National Defense College of the Philippines (Camp Aguinaldo) as mentioned in my previous posts. but the very day before practicum started, i changed my mind. i wanted to sign up for National Institute of Health (NIH) instead after hearing what Dr. Torres said about meeting patients with different diseases and observing how the health policy is implemented in the country. i've always been interested in hospital work as well as anything involved with people. i thought to myself that practicum should be a chance to pick up lessons on how it's like to work applying things i've learned from my course. so i thought, why do something you're not interested in and therefore not benefit from it when you can choose a job that would benefit you in the future? i'm eyeing a career in working with humanitarian organization, Non-Govermenta Organization, or foreign service (in that specific order) which is why hospital work and relating with people face-to-face will benefit me a great deal.

i think it is by Fate and God that i was able to shift at the last minute. i've already passed my application forms at NDCP complete with NBI clearance and all. who would have thought that i would grow so much and learn so much from the first few days of practicum at the Infection Control section of the Philippine General Hospital? who would have thought that by Divine Intervention and some twist of fate, i was able to land myself a practicum job that i've always wanted? who would have thought that by Divine Intervention and some twist of fate (again)... our practicum adviser decided to not rotate the three groups (of fives) anymore after one week working at the NIH, Institute of Human Genetics to the PGH (Infection Control Committee) and let us stay where we are currently assigned till the end of our 200 hours?

for day four of practicum, my groupmates: kuya raymond, ate cha, paulo, mitchie, and i met up at PGH. we logged-in first until we left for PAFI (Positive Action Foundation Philippines Incorporated), a non-governmental organization that provides care and support for HIV/AIDS postive patients. their mission?

"continuing fight for HIV/AIDS prevention and control, and facilitating support responses to the needs of PLWHAs and their families."

Mr. Jesus Ramirez met with us and he was really warm and accomodating. he told us everything we needed to know while we asked questions regarding the implementation of the Republic Act 8504:

"an act promulgating policies and prescribing measures for the prevention and control of HIV/AIDS in the Philippines, instituting a nationwide HIV/AIDS information and educational program, establishing a comprehensive HIV/AIDS monitoring system, strengthening the Philippine National Aids Council, and for other purposes."

my notes are six leaves long. times two, so that's twelve pages of notes from a medium-sized notebook. that was how fruitful the two hours (or more) we spent with Mr. Ramirez. as a NGO worker and a counsellor, i salute him for offering his life and time like that. i grabbed the chance when i saw one and asked how he started with NGO work. he started by saying that he graduated from a Management course and for some reason he didn't know, he landed a job as a kindergarten teacher. he came a long way from there, trying different jobs until he got involved with NGO work, particularly PAFI which deals with HIV/AIDS patients. he shared that NGO work is not rewarding financially because you won't get rich being involved with NGOs. however, it is rewarding spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. it helps you become a better person when you relate with others and are able to help them through their miseries. he said that once in a while you'll explode especially when patients become pessimists and stubborn but that's all a part of being a counsellor and a NGO worker. you are the support system of people who need you which is why it won't be a shock when you start absorbing their miseries and you become worn-out yourself. he said that he didn't understand why he became a kindergarten teacher as well as why he did his other jobs prior to being involved with a non-government organization. but now as he looks back, he is able to connect all his past experiences and realize that all those were just preparation for his present job. by being a teacher, he was able to practice relating with people.

Mr. Ramirez also mentioned that when you don't get what you ask for, don't feel frustrated and lose hope because it only means that something better for you is out there. all you need is patience to wait. plus, don't be frustrated because what matters is that you took that initial step to get to where you want to go. you didn't just sit and watch life pass you buy. that is the reward of your toils even if you failed-- it's the knowledge that you're moving forward and you're not going to be left behind.

he said that it is in social work that he feels most human-- when he is able to relate with HIV/AIDS patients and when he is able to ease the suffering of an individual whether by counselling or empowering infected patients as a whole to live their lives positively and refuse to be scorned by the inconsiderate public.

perhaps these are among the many lessons i learned today and the reminder came when i needed it the most. i wanted to hug Mr. Ramirez for sharing his wisdom. not only for the sake of being aware on issues regarding HIV/AIDS (which i will be forever thankful for) as well as the wisdom he imparted with us when we had the talk.

today i felt like i'm moving to the right direction and it felt liberatingly good to know that i'm going somewhere and most of all... knowing where i'm headed. i made up my mind that i want to be involved in a humanitarian organization or a non-goverment organization. i want to work for a cause. perhaps it's a sign of maturity when your goal to get a job that pays well shifts to wanting a job that would benefit others who need you more.

"Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself."

well said, John MacNaughton!

for as long as i can remember, i've always dreamt of becoming someone GREAT-- someone who would hold a high position in a firm, a person who's going to earn a lot of awards and medals for success, and someone whose name will be remembered long after i've gone. it's good to dream of being able to buy anything you want and swim in wealth. but i realized that being someone GREAT is not only measured by how many people know your name, how high your position is, or how fat your paycheck is. being someone GREAT is immeasurable by the properties you own or how big your house is. to aim to be someone GREAT does not necessarily mean you have to have a title attached to your name.

aiming to be someone GREAT can mean wanting to be someone or being someone who's as humble as working as a social worker or volunteering for a cause. GREAT people can be the construction workers who make sure infrastructures are sturdy for the safety of people, GREAT people are the people who sacrifice their lives for others, GREAT people are those who risk their lives to fight for good causes. GREAT does not equal to being the creme de la creme. you can be poor and humble as a mouse yet still be GREAT. it all depends on how you make the most of who you are and what you do.

so in relation to my discussion about God and Fate being intertwined... i believe that God brought me here. Fate brought me here. He must have a great plan for me and I'm going to make Him proud.

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to ANONYMOUS who posted on my previous entry:

hey gail...you may not know me but your blog inspired me to love life and treasure it, i admire the way you write and the way you present your perspective in life...wish you all the best...hope that i can meet a person like you someday.

thank you very much for your kind words. i HONESTLY don't feel like i deserve them but thank you, it made me smile (and will continue to do so) when i read it. it makes me happy that i am able to make people happy, particularly you who do not even know me in person.

visit again!

sincerely,

Gail