I just have to say this

I wish people understood me. If they already do, I wish they tried more.

I wish people knew that if I drink anything with caffeine at night, it keeps me awake until the wee hours of the morning and then sleep a shallow slumber. A shallow slumber is almost equivalent to no sleep at all.

I wish people understood that if I lack sleep/rest the night before because I wasn't able to sleep, my body cannot be as strong as I can be and that I get a very bad migraine attack during the day.

I wish people knew that being in two places in one day without rest plus a very low energy level can drain the hell out of me not. This is not felt psychologically but physically. I get grumpy and wear out easily. Therefore, commuting from one place to another is not an option at all. I need to rely on my sister or my dad to pick me up from where I am.

I wish people knew that I have obligations-- birthdays and prior committments to attend to in one day that's why I'm so tired and getting to a third place in one day after two consecutive birthday parties is very torturing-- no matter how much I want to visit a sick person because I get sick too, you know.

I wish people knew that my body is not as strong as other people who can endure no sleep at all but still get through the day without physically feeling what I feel whenever I lack sleep/rest.

I wish people believed that I'm not making this up. That I am unhealthy and I think that I was born to not be susceptible to torturous long days and stressful activities.

I wish I were healthier and physically more fit so that I can please everyone with my presence if they want me to be there. I wish I were supergirl. But I'm not and maybe I should accept it and people should too.

I wish they knew how it feels to feel this tired. I know it's a small reason to be dead tired.

I WISH PEOPLE BELIEVED ME WHEN I SAY THAT MY BODY GIVES UP EASILY because I'm just not as physically strong as other people are.

I wish people knew that if I could be in three places at once, I'd do just that. But I can't. My body betrays me when my mind wants to do otherwise.

I wish people listened when I give the extra effort to call to explain why I'm feeling this way.. I wish people didn't give excuses such as "I'm eating" while I'm explaining my side because I want to defend myself when people think I am heartless and that I do not care. I really do.

Even if this splitting headache is making me impossible to look at the screen without squinting, I still want to explain myself.

I wish people didn't look at these two birthday parties as just "parties" because the first one was my grandfather's birthday and at the same time the golden anniversary lunch celebration with my mother's side of the family. So it was my obligation to be present at a family special occassion. The second birthday party was my godson Johance's first birthday. I was already informed a month before so I had to be there. It was another obligation because I'm one of the godmothers.

I have to vent. I have to let this out.

I wish people listened. Period. I want to cry sometimes because it's so frustrating to have to explain myself without worrying about people thinking that I'm being such a drama queen about stress and being physically worn out after a long day. They may say "stress lang yan", yes. It is. But you have no idea how tired I can get.

I'm going to bed.