mondays always get me down

I am nearsighted. In case you're confused with "nearsighted" and "farsighted", nearsighted is when the eye cannot focus on objects from afar. I get headaches from my nearsightedness too because my opthalmologist said that when the eye has trouble focusing on objects, it triggers headaches. One who is nearsighted can only see clearly if objects are close. My being nearsighted has caused me many shameful moments. For example, there was this one time when I was walking along RH lobby at school. I see this guy coming inside and because it was a bit far, I started waving like a lunatic because I thought this person was someone I know. When he came closer, I wanted to crawl under a rock in shame and die. He turned out to be someone I do not know at all. Then something similar happened just last week. I was walking in front of the USC office when this guy sitting on the bench looked familiar. He smiled at me and I smiled back and again, I waved. Guess what? When I looked closer I realized that I do not know that person at all. Arggh. It was the nth time that I said hello to a complete stranger. People I say "hello" to in school (or anywhere else) might thing I'm a huge flirt!

But the thing is, like Jane, I don't like wearing my glasses often. They make me look old, it's uncomfortable to wear all the time (although it DOES improve the sight a mighty lot), and I just don't like them. Contacts are complicated for me because for one, I'm not into the whole process of taking them off, cleaning them, putting them on again, and dropping eye drops once in a while when my eyes get dry. But I am thinking about purchasing disposable ones just to see if they will work for me. I just hope I'm going to be responsible enough to maintain contact lenses.

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I've been sound tripping and updating songs to my Mini weeks after accidentally reformatting the whole thing TWICE. I know. Stupid of me. But it's time to get a move on because I'm already sick of listening to the same songs over and over. I am yet to make that trip to U.M. (yes, near La Salle) to hoard mp3 cds because I'm just too lazy to download and too much of a cheapskate to purchase original (imported) cds. Besides, they really have good alternative mp3 selections there. Only, I'm too lazy to take that one ride from Faura to V. Cruz.

I've already borrowed a shitload of books from the Women and Gender Studies Center of UPM. I need to get them photocopied for future reference and I'll have to shell out a huge amount just to get these books recopied (don't worry, I won't mass reproduce). But ah well. Anything for convenience.

The week has been tough for me. Emotionalwise but life goes on. When reality bites, bite harder. Right?

This song so fits my mood lately:

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in new york city
And I don’t know why.

Are we listening to hymns of offering?
Have we eyes to see that love is gathering?
All the words that I’ve been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the years roll down.
’cause it’s the world I know.
It’s the world I know.
The World I Know, Collective Soul

I associate my musings to music that I listen to because sometimes they say words that fit the black hole inside my hearta perfectly.

Speaking of Reality Bites, I watched it for the nth time last week on Cinemax. It's my all-time favorite movie. No matter how many times I see it I still love it just the same. U2's All I Want is You and Lisa Loeb's Stay is classic. I'm in love with Ethan Hawke's character in the movie. He's grungey and mysterious and SO SMART and so crushable. HAHA! "crushable". I'm laughing at myself now.

This morning I watched Unbreakable for the first time. I think I will always have a thing for movies that people find bland. I don't know. What's with me? I appreciated Unbreakable contrary to what others thought of the movie. I liked Big Fish too even if others thought it was weird. I like weird. Weird is me.

Okay bye. Enough ranting for today. More on reading on HIV/AIDS and downloading. Yes, multi-tasking at its finest.