i'm bored. i just finished watching the season 1 of Lost. i love it and i can't wait to get the second season because i am that hooked. just like with Veronica Mars. i got hooked the first time i watched Lost but faithful to its title, you can never follow what's going on with that show if you don't religiously watch it week after week on AXN. this, my friends, i can't do. i can't seem to follow a show and stick to the every-week routine so i always end up buying the whole season and indulging myself to a non-stop marathon. i did that this weekend-- watch until my eyes are strained and i'm too groggy to continue watching more. my sister got hooked too because the last couple of episodes, she watched with me.

and it's sad because i'm done with the first season. i'm so intrigued by what season two has to offer. bahhh. i hate this. i can't go back to reading my Murakami book because my eyes are strained from being glued to the tv the whole day-- except for eating, taking a shower, and going to mass.

it's september. need to fix that lunch thing with college friends but it's not until the 23rd. or is it the 24th? mmm...

aside from the Lost marathon i had with me, myself, and i, i felt rather PMSy this weekend. i felt fat. i felt sad. i felt moody. i always crave for something-- chocolates, cookies n' cream ice cream, and spanish rolls. blehh. i blame PMS for my temporary depression. i blame it for making me think that the more we grow older, the harder it is to be happy. it's like when i was younger, ice cream or candy will make me happy whenever i'm sad. but now that i'm twenty one, the little things that struck the happy lining somewhere is gone-- it sunk deeper and deeper into that dark hole inside my head where i allow all the unhappy thoughts to swim. and it's sad. i don't even want to go there. but on days when i want to fast forward and play that Simple Plan song "Wake Me Up When September Ends" inside my head (because that's what i really want right now), i end up swimming into that dark hole and i'm afraid the rest of my sing-song happy self will drown in it.

i want to be rescued. i know i need to be. but something tells me no one can because there is only me who can help myself if i sink too deep.