help me write

i am a frustrated writer. i really want to be able to string words into magical sentences that would make up a masterpiece-- a short story, an article, or just an essay of some sort.

i'm frustrated because a blog is all i have to write on. i want a job (even a non-paying one) where i can write about things that interest me because i miss that. i used to write for the school paper but then the semester started to be hectic so i had to resign. I MISS WRITING. A LOT. i wish i could enroll myself to a creative writing class and improve my skills and maybe that class will help me write that book i've been dreaming of writing. i anticipate the Young Star section of the Philippine Star every week. i envy the writers there because they write really well and they get to write for a paper too. argh. frustrations, frustrations! imagine doing what you really love to do and actually get outputs from it. isn't that amazing?

the thing is.. i don't know where they get the inspiration to write. they say, "write what you know". well, sometimes i have a lot of jumbled ideas in my head but i keep them to myself. when i'm finally in front of the computer, i just stare at the white blank page of the screen and try to rack my brains with all my might. sometimes i get fruitful results but other times i suffer from what they call "writer's block".

one thing's for sure-- i want a writing job right now because i need output from my passion. you guys know any writing stints out there?

*

it's past 2am. two hours ago, my mother asked what time i was going to bed. i'm still awake because i'm still downloading. i just finished wathcing Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights for the second time and again, Diego Luna is HOT. so i'm downloading a bunch of songs from the soundtrack because if you must know, i love dancing when no one's watching. oh yes, i dance like crazy when no one's around. it's good therapy when you need to let out tension (er, on school days) or when you just want to have FUN. i know people who can't understand why i like to listen to r&b (or hip-hop, as some might call it). i dance to hip-hop music and i don't know... i guess you can call me a frustrated dancer! but when no one's around... i just LET GO and move to the music. it's exhilirating, i tell you. after watching Havana Nights the second time around, i told myself i want to dance like that.

i think i might turn nocturnal again since school's going to start in less than two weeks. how depressing. i could get used to life like this-- movies, downloads, sound tripping-- bumming, in general. what fun!

but NO. reality starts in less than two weeks so i might as well make the most out of it. maybe that's also the reason why my parents stopped forcing me to sleep already-- they understand that i'm trying to make the most out of what's left of my almost non-existent summer vacation.

good night, world.