going for The Dream

i seriously can't wait for Madagascar! whee!

i've been catching up on movies lately. saturday night i went with my sister and her boyfriend to Galle and watched Amityville. go watch it! it's a pretty good movie. i liked it. would give it a 4/5 rating. then today i went with Ina to Galle again and watched In Good Company. another great movie! it actually presents reality like they make you realize that although you're at the top, when you don't have people who support you, love you, in short-- your family, life is sad. almost meaningless.

then we hanged out at Gloria Jean's for a while and talked. that's what we're good at. but seriously, i enjoy coffeeshop conversations with Ina because we get to cover a lot of topics. our conversations are intellectually stimulated, by the way (haha! or maybe that's "nerdified" to you). we just sat there for hours as we watched people passed by our umbrellaless table.

conversations with Ina are definitely going to be missed once she's gone. i can see myself in her-- we think the same, we're into the same things (books, for one HAHA), and i can actually be myself around her without thinking, "oh shit. maybe i'm being too much of a nerd already." does that happen to you? like when you're with a group of people and you start babbling about some advertisement and you try to point out how politically incorrect the ad is.. you start catching yourself babbling on about it. then you become conscious because the people you're talking to might think you're overreacting over some advertisement. or sometimes you feel that people are uninterested in what you're going to say because they couldn't care any less with what happened in the latest Harry Potter installment.

i am a THINKER. i ponder on things a lot. i like to ask questions and find answers to them. i like to stop and smell the flowers. i like to sit and take a breather to talk about things that are substantial. but of course, i do know how to have fun because i can be as goofy as HELL (ask my friends!). i laugh like crazy and when i have a laughing fit, oh dear! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! as i was saying, it's rare when you find someone who thinks like you and share the same outlook in life because you get to say to yourself that you're not too weird afterall. sometimes you have to just let all your thoughts out. otherwise they just rot there. there's a whole lot of comfort in hearing, "I FEEL THE SAME WAY!" or "EXACTLY!". it's more than the comfort you get from drinking hot chocolate on a cold night.

so anyway...

i don't want to jinx our plans but since she's migrating to Canada next month, we've planned to meet up after i graduate so we could share an apartment while we study for graduate school in New York. of course, i must have earned my undergraduate degree by then so i could find a job to pay for rent, bills, and graduate school. if all goes well, my parents will let me live in a city as wild as New York City and contribute to my masters degree fund (my father and i already had a talk about this).

i'm going to chase my dream of seeing the world because this is my DREAM. this is the DREAM. i fell in love with New York as early as my grade school years. if i don't do this... spread my wings and fly, this might be the biggest regret of my life. i figured i can go to graduate school there and then come back home to offer my service for the greater good just as i always hoped i would do some time in the future. i would hate for people to think that i'm one of those fresh graduates who flee the country after graduation. i'm going to leave because my dream is to see the world. i have to satisfy my wanderlust... see where my dream will take me. then i can make plans and put them into order to see what i really want to do with my life and where i'll go from there. i'm not leaving because of financial reasons. i'm going to leave because i need to follow my dream. i'd feel like i'm stuck in a bell jar if i don't spread my wings.

if everything works out, then i'll probably stay there. but if reality slaps me on the face and tells me that i won't make it, I WILL STILL STAY anyway and allow myself to grow. i need to see what life is like to be able to lean on myself. i need to see if i'd survive... if i'm fit enough to chase the dream.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
-The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

it's a win-win situation, right? i can always return back home if i realize i'm not happy there. so i'm going for it!

my only hope is for Paulo Coelho's words to be true:

When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
-The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

so give me a pat on the back and wish me good luck!

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i have allergies. my nose is itchy like hell! i don't know if it's because i cuddled Amidala on my lap and kissed her a hundred times today or because of the pollution. arghh.

now back to my practicum paper... two more days yahoo!