the Philippine General Hospital

every morning since practicum started, i do the same things-- wake up at 5am, struggle to keep my eyes open for more than five minutes, robotically walk to the bathroom and turn on the freezing cold shower, get dressed, then if i'm lucky... i get to eat breakfast. if not, i just make myself a glass of ice cold coffee or a hot mug then i'm out of the house in a second. sometimes i make a sandwich and slip it into a sandwich bag so i can eat breakfast when i get to the hospital. the village gate is a five minute walk away from my house. so i get to enjoy that five minutes thinking of whatever thoughts and appreciating the morning. i love mornings that way. over the past three years of college life and taking a public transport vehicle, i have already come to appreciate the perks of commuting including that five minute walk to where i usually get my ride.

the highlight of my morning would probably be the time when i arrive at the Philippine General Hospital an hour later. this hospital is probably the busiest of all... morning, day, or night... you'll see a lot of people within and outside the hospital grounds. being at a public hospital is not a pretty sight-- sad faces are present everywhere especially when i walk along the eerie hallways on the way to the unit my group is assigned. the charity wards are always full and the air is really thick inside that i bet it's so hard to breathe in there. interns, doctors, and hospital personnel scurry like busy ants. stretchers, wheel chairs, and people with crutches would zoom pass by me. at 8am, the place is already buzzing with activity. as a child, i wanted to work at a hospital because i felt that i belonged there. i loved the smell of disinfectant because for me it was the smell of clean. last week my practicum instructor toured my group around the hospital-- to the blood bank, the laboratories, and the charity wards. at the laboratory, the smell of formaline was so strong that it made me feel sick. then we were told that inside that particular lab, human flesh extracted from biopsies are tested there to find out if a patient has cancer or not. next stop was the charity wards. i couldn't believe that the patients would actually go there to heal and that the ward we visited was for the more serious ones. i wondered how they sleep at night in a room as humid as that and in a room you shared with several sickly others. we went to the Intensive Care Unit too and when asked if we wanted to go inside and observe, all of my groupmates including myself declined. i think we were silently thinking of the same thing-- we didn't want to stare death in the eye. the reality of death was already too overwhelming. i prodded the instructor if we could go see the morgue. i thought when else would i get that chance to tour the hospital and actually see the places which are off limits? the rest of my groupmates shouted "eeewwww" in unison. to my dismay, we weren't able to see the morgue but hopefully in the next hospital tour.

so mitchie asked if i still wanted to work in the hospital. she said "kita mo na? tapos gusto mo magtrabaho sa ospital!". i was supposed to be turned-off (hehe the term!) but i wasn't. it might have been a shock to me to see so many sick people like that and stare death closely but the experience, this whole practicum thing at the hospital has enabled me to gain further understanding that life is fragile. life isn't fair-- while some can avail state-of-the-art facilities from top hospitals, some people go to the Philippine General Hospital in hopes of getting the best medical care in a very affordable price. while some people go to hospitals with accomodating lobbies that look more like hotel lobbies, there are people who welcome the smell of Death and melancholy in a public hospital such as the PGH.

entering the hospital is similar to entering an entirely different world. i've learned so much to think that i'm just an observer-- not exactly a participant of the activities that goes on at PGH.

my groupmates and i are scheduled to interview the social worker at the PGH and observe at the Out Patient Department. i can't wait!

Gail as a boy

enough serious talk! these are hilarious pictures that my cousin Zeniel took of me when i wore that army costume complete with jacket and cap! hahaha! we were at the garage laughing our asses off. i also wore the hip-hop jersey get-up and it was so funny!!! this is how i'd look like if i were a boy...



mwahaha! funneh!